Category: Just My Thoughts on Things

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Good Enough [ Post #105 ]

There is a phrase that I have been thinking about recently after reading something. I don’t recall what I was reading, but that phrase hit me, and it started me thinking. I was thinking all of the sudden about my, shall I call it, difficult childhood and early life. Yeah, I had some difficulties in my childhood at home, living with my parents and my brother (my sister had married when I was very young and had left the household). I was very depressed at times. Very unhappy, very confused. I had horrible thoughts and horrible visions of what I just might do, given the chance. Thank God we did not have any guns at our house. It was a different world and people weren’t so gun-crazy like they are today.

Anyway, it was a very dark time for me. Well, long story short, as they say, here I am many, many decades later and my life has worked out just fine. As you know if you’ve read my previous blogs, I achieved my dreams. I have found the love of my life. I have found the good life. I wish I was younger so that I had more life ahead of me now that I’m in a good place. (Yes, I know, maybe I do have a lot of good times ahead of me, but I have done the math and know that exceeding normal life expectancy is pretty rare and I have watched many, many friends and relatives pass on.) But the point of this essay is that I have finally looked at my life a lot (I guess that’s what we do if we live a long life). And then it hit me. Really hit me. My parents were “good enough.”

Yes, “good enough!” I don’t think I ever thought about that in such a way. You know, so many people that have had a rough childhood just think the worst, the darkest thoughts about their family and parents. But now, looking back from my current perspective, I realize that they were good enough. They really were. They did teach me and exemplified a pretty decent life. Taught me basic values, civility, etiquette, etc. And I survived, didn’t I? Here I am. So, there is something to be said about being good enough. Oh, they had their problems. I don’t deny that. Some very serious problems at times. But they were not abusive like the stories we hear about in families these days.

So, the term, good enough. That is almost a nasty term in our society today. Today we live in a very competitive world. We are taught to achieve excellence. To settle for nothing less. Go for the win. Winner take all. Kill the competition. Don’t be “just good enough.” Good enough is for losers, etc., etc. I think you get it.

Now, I am certainly not denigrating excellence or going for a win or being the best you can be. I am certainly for all of that. But what I’m saying is that there are places in life where it is good, even great to sometimes just be good enough.

Do you have those places in your life where “good enough” was just fine? We always wish for the best, but life is what it is. Sure, go for the best. Go for excellence. But also, be willing to accept there are times and areas in life where good enough is adequate, such as in my difficult childhood period. Wishing for something different than what was really gets you nowhere and can be damaging to your psyche, as I see it.

I have a friend who is an artist, and a good one. One day I asked her if she had a dream of having her own gallery and she responded, “no, no way, I’m happy just doing what I’m doing.” I asked two lawyer friends if they felt they failed in their careers by not getting on the supreme court. Same response, no. For myself, I had a childhood dream of being an airline pilot. Well, I was a commercial pilot and worked for a company at a local airport in that capacity, but never became an airline pilot. Was I a failure? No way. timing and things did not work out for me to have that result in my career. And that’s okay.

When my high school counselor told me that there was no way I was going to go to college because I was just a “C” student, I would have preferred that she told me something like, “hey, you’re good enough to go to college if you just worked hard at preparing for that path.”

Oh, well, you get my point. there are situations in life where good enough is good enough. Don’t beat yourself up over situations like my childhood perception. Have a good life. Be happy. Be thankful that your life has been “good enough.”

Wally

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What I’ve (We’ve) Missed in Life [Post # 104]

Okay, for those of us who have lived a while and are getting into our later stages of life, the thought crossed my mind of what we have missed in life experiences, whether by choice or the circumstances of life. For me, the one big thing I have missed is the experience of having a family of my own, in the old classic, culturally approved manner. You know, a heterosexual marriage with children and the experiences of parenthood. I did not go down that path, and that was of my own choosing. I am not regretting that choice at all, just acknowledging that that is a life experience I did not and will not have in this life.

It would not have worked, I know. I am sure of that. I was meant to live this life I’m living now and somehow, I knew this fact, (if not consciously) for most of my life. Yes, for the first portion of my life, until my early twenties, I just assumed I’d be “normal,” get married and do the family and parent thing. Never thought of any alternative. That was destiny for everybody I thought, and I was taught that all my life. Then, when I left graduate school and had to go into the workplace, I started thinking about what I was going to do with my life. I had avoided thinking like that for some time as I was too obsessed with just getting through school. In graduate school (theological seminary), I assumed I’d graduate and start serving as a minister in a church and get married and produce a happy family. Yeah, right.

In seminary, a fellow student confronted my one day and said he suspected that I was gay. I guess the fact I was not dating or talking about women in conversations, he caught on to something. Of course, I was mad and denied any such accusations. But that confrontation did get me thinking.

I had not even thought about not doing the “normal” thing of marriage and parenthood. But now it was time to consider what my life was to be. I got my job in aviation and began my work life, but now I had to think about my personal and relationship life. It hit me that traditional marriage and parenthood was not for me. I just knew that on some level. So, I delved into my work and my other interests and put aside any serious thoughts about relationships. And that was fine. I enjoyed life, truly. I would survive, and hopefully, thrive.

Well, I did eventually get into a couple of relationships and now am very happy with the love of my life. I feel that I chose the right path for me. I am so glad I did not try to pursue the path that society said I should choose. But, like I said, I will never know what it is like to be a parent. A good thing, I’m sure. but a life experience I will miss that most people get to experience. And no legacy to leave. No line of succession, so to speak. Something missed, but for me, that’s really okay.

So, thinking along those lines, what else have I missed in this life? I have missed certain experiences that I doubt I will experience now. I have not skied, either snow skiing or water skiing. I have not skydived. I have not experienced being a soldier in a war. (Well, I would not have gone down that path with my strong antiwar beliefs.) I never became a good athlete. Yeah, I did play some sports, but never excelled in anything. I never learned to play chess. I loved playing golf as a kid (my parents were in a country club and I liked playing golf). But my enjoyment of golf was destroyed for me when my brother-in-law gave me a talk one day about how if I was ever going to be somebody in this world (this society), I had to play golf. It was mandatory in order to be a successful man in the business world. Well, that attitude just turned me off, even though I loved the sport.

Now, at this age, I really miss not having gotten to know my family better, especially my parents. I would like to know where they came from, what they went through. Why they were the way they were. I missed some serious, deep conversations with them. Fortunately, my father was a writer, and he did write an autobiography of sorts which was found after his death. Interesting, but I’d love to know a lot more.

I’ve known some friends that were in wars (WWII, Vietnam, etc.), but usually, they won’t talk about those experiences. I would really like to have deep conversations with them, but that’s not possible. Maybe that’s why I generally feel life is so much BS and we never really discuss things of great importance. So much of life is lived on such a superficial level.

So, we live life and so much of it is superficial, as I see it. We miss so much. I’m glad I missed a lot of the bad stuff of life. I did not make big mistakes, take serious wrong turns and acquire self-destructive habits and addictions. Glad about that, but I would like to have experienced a deeper experience than is normal in our short lifetime in this superficial society. Oh, well, that’s how it is.

At this point, all I can do is commit to being more honest, more real, more open to those who are willing to be open with me as we live out this portion of our lives. I just don’t have time to waste on the shallow, the superficial, the BS, the hate and bitterness of life. Life has been hard at times, but good and wonderful. It’s taken a lot of work to keep my sanity, I feel, but it is worth it. So, let’s carry on and do our best to live out our lives in peace, happiness and joy. Are you happy with your life? How do you feel about what you have missed out on in your life?

Wally

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Not A Bible Thumper, But…. [ Post # 103 ]

So, a good, long-term friend of mine told me a long time ago, “Wally, I know in the coming years (decades in the future), you are going to hit the “sawdust trail.” I just know that. Hmmm… I thought. What is he saying? What is he talking about? Well, you’ve probably picked up from reading my blogs that I do have a spiritual side to my life. I do have a history in the “evangelical” church movement, I was in college in the “Jesus’ freak” years of the 60’s and 70’s. I ran around with a charismatic, Pentecostal group of college buddies and had some very good, inspiring times, I admit. Going on to theological seminary after college I got to study “theological” and religious things, yes, and that inspired me to continue some deep study in the field. When my professor said we do not want to tell our congregations what we learned here in seminary because it would cause them to lose their faith, I thought, wow, I’ve got to dig deep into this stuff to see what the truth is about all this “church” stuff.

Well, I later gave up on it all. I became what I considered to be an atheist. But a couple of years later I thought, I really need to explore this whole field more as atheism didn’t make a lot of sense to me either. Many atheists I met were rigid and closed minded, so on I went on with my further study.

Some people who claim to be Omnists: Ellen Burstyn, John Coltrane, Shaquille O’Neal. Chris Martin, Kyrie Irving, Ramakrishna, Philip James Bailey (who first coined the term).

Eventually I settled on a spiritual journey more in line with my life experience and my “inner sense” or inner knowing. I recently came across a term for people such as me, “exvangelical.” Okay, that works for me. I also found another term for where I’m at, Omnist.

So yes, maybe my friend was right. I continued on my spiritual quest and theological and philosophical study and now I definitely have some “spiritual” life. A mystery of life, of existence. But on a quest of trying to force people to come along with me on my specific journey? I don’t think so. Everyone has to find what works for them individually. My blogs have stated that I love Jesus, God and many sages from the ages. But that’s me, my way of living.

I went on the mission field as a construction worker for missionary friends many years ago. I have preached in churches. I have good friends that have been missionaries. I spend much time in spiritual practice and study daily, normally. But me telling anyone else what they should do or believe… no way. No tent meetings, no “sawdust trail’ as my friend predicted a long time ago. Willing to share my thoughts on things. Believing that having faith and hope and an open mind is a great way to live. Believing that that is a better way to live than just being totally materialistic.

So, it’s your life. What works for you? Embittered from having a bad experience with religion? Consider some alternatives, I say. Don’t give up on contemplating the great mystery of life. Become an exvangelical if you feel you must. Explore Omnism, the good parts of all religions. Most of philosophy says that we must find some meaning in life. Not necessarily answers, but we must give our life meaning if we are going to survive this mysterious chaos called existence. For me, life is all about love. It took me a lifetime to come to this insight, but thank God (or the whatever) I now know what I know ((which isn’t much, really.) I know that I don’t know much of anything. Live love. Life is better that way, as I see it.

Wally

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World Has Changed; People So Rude and Loud and Scary [ Post #102 ]

Had a few incidents recently that have shown me how different we are now as a society that does not know how to behave in public. Very sad to see how things have changed recently. And with the next political election coming up, well, I’m concerned for this country and society. It seems now that the normal behavior is, “let it all out, no restrictions regarding public behavior.”

So I was in line at an office supply store waiting to pay for my purchase. All of the sudden the person being handled by the cashier turned around and starting speaking to all in line and elsewhere in the store. He started this rampage about what a good guy Mike Lindell, the “My Pillow” guy is. He went on and on. We were his captive audience. I was surprised someone didn’t tell him to just shut up and finish his transaction. But no, on and on he went. I had never experienced something like that in public before.

Then, recently I was in another store. I happened to be in the back of the store and all of the sudden I heard someone somewhere in the front of the store start screaming. He was screaming the most foul, awful things at someone. It was extremely loud and extremely awful, gross, and scary. It went on and on and I finally thought, this could be one of “those” incidents where something awful happens. I immediately thought, wow, if I hear a gunshot I had better have a plan. I immediately looked around and saw the the back of the store had an exit into the warehouse area and thought I’m heading there if there is a gunshot. I was prepared as it seemed very likely this was going to be a bad scene very rapidly.

Well, it turned out there was no gunshot and somehow the exchange ended. Whew! Scary. And, I say, once again, I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I can now imagine how people feel who are trapped in situations like this, where a mass shooting occurs.

So, what’s going on these days? It seems like anything goes. Mass shootings in the news almost daily. People screaming their political views to their public audiences. And even friends and family I have recently discovered can surprise me with their “nastiness.” I’m really surprised by what some have told me. I’ve been told some nasty things and I’ve been told to go buy some guns and lots of ammunition to prepare for the civil war “that is a coming.” Wow. This is not the world of years gone by. This is not the world I grew up in. There have always been nasty people but now I see them everywhere. I never had a fear of crowds before, but now I am aware of strange acting people everywhere. My awareness level is up these days.

It seems that many types of crimes are increasing at a rapid pace. Identity theft is everywhere. When I got my pilot licenses, our pilot numbers were our social security number. Not today. They changed that and assigned new numbers.

So, growing up, we had drills in school called “duck and cover,” where we got under our desks, preparing for earthquakes or atomic bombs. And air raid practice with air raid sirens blarring every month. But we did not have shooting drills, preparing what to do if a shooter got into a school.

Well, you get my point. This is a different world. Small town or big city. It’s different now. And now we are facing another election year. No more civility in the election process. Just lots of awful nastiness. Not looking forward to all of this.

Wally


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100 Blog Posts… And The Point Is…? [ Post #101 ]

So, I have reached a milestone of sorts. Written one hundred blog posts, one hundred essays about my life, thoughts, and other various things. One hundred? I could never imagine writing that much in the beginning. Just figured I had a few things to write about, a few things to explore and experiment with, expressing myself on the internet. Well, five years later, here we are. Is there more to “explore?” More to reveal? More to investigate?

So, when I decided to take the leap and do my public writing, I really didn’t know where I was going with all of this. A little scary. A little overwhelming. Well, such is life, isn’t it? A new venture, a new direction to explore. Maybe I’ll enjoy it, maybe I’ll fail, and make a fool of myself, I thought. Could have gone either way, but I’m pretty satisfied that I took the plunge. Isn’t that what life is all about, stepping out and taking risks?

I originally thought about writing a book, an autobiography. The trouble was, I just was overwhelmed by the prospect and couldn’t get very far. I realized I could more easily just write some short essays about this or that. Yeah, I could handle that. So, investigating how to set up a website and get into the blogging game, I just went forward with the idea. A spiritual counselor and practitioner I was seeing at the time encouraged me when I told him of my possible project of starting a blog.

So, five years and 100 essays later. I think there’s more to write about. I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve done thus far. I see it as good therapy for me. A lot cheaper that doing psychotherapy. And it’s fun. I’m learning a lot about myself. I’ve brought to the surface many things and life experiences that were in the deep recesses of my life and mind.

I’ve seen how all my adventures have formed me to be who I am now. My writing has brought about some changes in my life. For example, my post on the sabbath really changed how I spend my Sundays. I’m very strict on how I spend my “day of rest” now. Not as strict as some Jews are in their observing the sabbath, but close. I’ve learned how strongly I am now in being “anti war,” after reflecting on my days in the 1960’s and 70’s and facing the Vietnam War years. I’ve articulated how strongly I feel about my spiritual journey regarding my being a follower of Jesus and appreciating many other religions and their teachings. So many things have become clearer to me as I reflect on my thoughts, actions, and intentions now at this point on my journey. My essay on how I see life as ninety percent crap and ten percent good may seem very negative, but I don’t see it that way. That perspective helps me live a better life by living in the ten percent good and recognizing and staying disentangled from the ninety percent negative and bad. I wish I had known this and practiced this way of living earlier (but I didn’t).

So, onward and upward, as they say. There’s so much more to investigate. So much more to learn. I’m enjoying my continuing education through my college and university courses I’m participating in on DVD and streaming. I don’t have time to be bored. Bored with life? Are you Kidding me? No way! And the more I learn, the more I think, and the more I think and examine my life and life in general, the more I write and express my thoughts and experiences.

So, one hundred blog posts. And the point is? The point is, I haven’t even scratched the surface, as they say. It is therapy, it is releasing my pent-up thoughts and feelings. I’ve got more to write, so I will.

Wally

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Your Story [ Post #100 ]

So, what’s your story? What is your life story? Don’t we all have one? A story that is unique for us. A story that nobody else on this earth has. A story that we have created, or a story that we think happened to us with which we had some or little control over. I am fascinated with people’s stories.

I am fascinated by how some people have very unremarkable beginnings and turn out to be amazing individuals who create unbelievable lives, invent incredible things and advance our civilization to new heights. Then there are those who just seem to gravitate to awful lives and do much evil with their time on this earth.

So, our story. What is our story? I think we all know of people who have a horrible or miserable story. A story they are sometimes absorbed in totally and cannot break out of their negativity. Some end up just living totally in their misery and often shorten their lives through their addictions or their decision to end it all through suicide. Sad, I say, but understandable in a sense. We need to have good perspective and good activity and relationships to live positively and productively and successfully. And, I would add, a faith of some sort. If we don’t have those things, well, I say, we are living a fragile and dangerous life. I have seen several friends live like that and often have a very unhappy ending to it all.

I feel my story has changed in the past couple of years or so. I feel I had a rough early life with my family and all that’s involved in growing up. I have written about some it in previous blogs posts. So, yes, I did have some rough times early in my family life. But now I feel different about it all. Yes, I was unhappy with several things early on. But I made it through those times and made my decisions to go in new directions. And now I see that I needed to go through all I went through to get where I am today. In other words, it all worked out in the end. I see all the pieces of the puzzle now fitting together, as it were. And that’s a good, liberating feeling.

So, our story. We have a lot to do with how we see our story. We can be imprisoned and stuck with our story for all our life. Or, if we work at it, we can break out of our self-imposed story and see everything in a new way. And I would say that’s what we need to do. Step outside our “story.” If a process is needed, such as therapy or deep spiritual work, I say go for it. We have a right to have a good life, to be in touch with the invisible, good forces, the Divine aspects of life. I believe we all have the possibility of getting in touch with the Good. But if we don’t do that, well, life can be bad, really bad and sad.

Like I said, everything, everything brought me to where I am today. I have found the love of my life (which for most of my life I did not think was possible). I have accomplished my life dreams of obtaining my pilot licenses and flight instructor certificates. I have literally traveled around the world. I have had great times with great friends. And the crap, well, just part of the whole process, the lessons to be learned.

All of this was recently brought to mind when I met up with two good friends from my college years of a half century ago. They had stories about me to tell and informed my husband about those crazy years living in the dorm at school. I didn’t quite remember everything but knew that was my story at that time.

Meeting up with old college buddies, dorm roommate and dormmate after a half century. Stories to tell!

So, my advice is to look at your story. See it as clearly as you can. And be open to seeing it differently, if necessary. Break out of your repetitious story to created a new, better context if necessary. This is your one life. Enjoy it! Touch your Divinity, your connection to the universe, all of life, existence, love.

Wally

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There Is No Path [Post # 99]

So, the theme of my blog is : “On the Path… It’s a Wonderful Life.” And here I’m saying that there is no path. Perhaps I should clarify that statement to say that there is no ONE path! We are led to believe that there is one path, the right path. Take that one path and our life will be great, wonderful, in fact; we are taught that early in life. For many, that path is a religious path. Just join and commit to the correct religion and you’re set for a good life and a good “after life” with God, in heaven.

Well, I don’t think so. Not quite that simple. I haven’t found anybody that is that committed to every aspect of whatever path they are taking through life if that path is a religious path, especially a rigid, very strict path of whatever religion or leader, with the exception of cults, perhaps. For most of us, we may basically accept a path laid out before us by others or a religion or philosophy. I think that there are many, who, like me, accept some of what others proclaim is “the way” to live a good life. But they do not accept everything. They take some truths from here and some from there. They, in the end, formulate their “own path.” And that is how I believe it should be.

I’ve known “good Catholics,” “good Mormons,” “good Baptists,” good jews,” etc. but they do not go along with everything their particular religion insists on their adherents agreeing to. In my own journey I had to change my thinking many times, and it still changes all the time. I began with joining an evangelical Christian denomination in my teens. That worked for a while but eventually caused me problems as life moved along. After theological seminary graduate school, I eventually considered myself an atheist due to my inability to accept beliefs I was told were the truth, the only “way.” But later on, I returned to some more “open” spiritual teachings and found my way back to a path that was “my path”, my way to experience the ineffable.

So, it seems we all have to find our own path, right? Yes, you may align with a particular religion or spiritual path, or you may not. I think it helps to basically align with something. To be a completely materialistic person, narcissistic or living off of artificial stimulants, whether possessions or sex or drugs or whatever just does not make a good life as I see it.

So, “find your own path” is my mantra. Center yourself somehow in something good. Don’t get “sucked in” to culture, society, the media, trends, miserable friends and other bad influences. Think about who your “teachers” are in your life. You are probably somebody’s disciple, if you think about it. You learned how to live from somebody in your life. Who was that teacher for you?

Think it over. Who were your teachers? Who influenced you? Who and what teaching did you follow? How did you avoid going down the “wrong” path (and I am hoping you did avoid doing that)? Are you living the true religion? Your religion? Traveling your path?

I went through a lot on my journey. I faced making the wrong turns many times. Turns in the road that could have destroyed me. Yes, scary. Yes, lucky. Well, lucky I say, but really I feel I was led and guided all along the way from my very early years. By what? By what people call “God?” My “higher self?” To me it is all mystery, but I have no problems, really, with the term God, Spirit, Life Force.

So, to wrap this essay up, I will give you my secrets to traveling “my” path. There are many things I could say, but the points that come to mind right now are: Always move forward, forgive, retreat and rest and refresh, contemplate, love, give thanks. Those practices are found in several religions. And if I am a disciple of any sages, I would put Jesus and Buddha and perhaps a couple others at the top of that list. May your path work for you. My advice, again, is “do not blindly accept a path presented to you without serious study and thought and consultation with your “higher self, true self or divine intuition.”

Wally

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Don’t Know Nutin ! [ Post # 97 ]

Living a long life, getting a good education; living a good, in fact great life, and then continuing my education (life-long learning), you’d think I would know a lot, wouldn’t you? Well, I’m here to tell you I’m at the point that I don’t think I know much at all. Don’t hardly know nutin I’d say (well, you certainly don’t know good English I hear you saying!)

The more I study, the more education I get, the more I realize we are all somehow surviving this thing called life however we can without really knowing much about it at all! Oh, yeah you say, we’re getting smarter and smarter. Well, maybe we’re getting more technologically advanced, but I see that as very different than getting smarter, more intelligent, obtaining wisdom, evolving our humanity, learning from history, taking the best from our religions and philosophies, etc.

Like I said, I’ve studied a lot. Listened to the “experts,” the professionals, professors, sages, teachers, gurus, etc., and I’m not impressed. Not impressed that THEY have the truth. Oh, yes, I’m impressed with their knowledge, no question about that. Impressed that they have studied so much in their field. But having a lot of knowledge, having a brilliant brain and intellect does not relate to having the truth about life and purpose and ethics and morality.

I say you have to think for yourself. Yes, take in all the knowledge and wisdom and learn all you can. Connect to your “higher self,” the invisible realm of the “whatever” (Spirit, God, eternal wisdom and truth). Be open. Be observant. Be detached, be removed from the entanglements of the insane parts of life. And, I’d say, realize no one, no group has total truth, no one has the answer, really.

So, once again, I’m writing an essay, not writing a book, so I’m just getting my point across. I don’t need to convince anyone of anything. Perhaps you think you know a lot. Perhaps you are a “know-it-all.” Or at least have strong and absolutely correct opinions on everything. Know some people like that? I sure do.

So, here’s how I see it. This life is a grand experiment. This country is a grand experiment. Religions are grand experiments, as are philosophies. History is not a fixed fact, nor is science. Historical perspectives and conclusions change over time. Science changes over time (google “Science Wars’). Don’t believe this? Then do a lot of studying. Go deep. See what you missed in your “basic education,” or your “church religion.” I say run away from those who speak absolute certainty about things. Those who claim they have found the “truth.”

I don’t know notin” much! And that no longer scares me or makes me uncomfortable. I do not fear the “mystery.” That’s life.

Yes, I admire those professors and teachers that have gotten all the education they have and the degrees they have earned. I am astounded how they pursued their education as far as they did. That’s great. And I am pleased when they actually open up and admit that they don’t know everything. They just know a lot of stuff they studied and are passing it on to others. But what do we really know? Ah, that’s the way I look at it. Life is an experiment, as I see it. I’m watching. I’m learning (I hope!). I have to just enjoy the journey.

And, from Wikipedia:

Wally

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Three Things We All Do / Will Do [ Post #96 ]

We all live such different lives. We all have different worlds we live in, both on a personal, individual level, and on a social, communal level. No matter how different we all are, I was thinking about three things we all do, and will do, whether we are aware of them or not. I really don’t think there are any exceptions to these if we have lived any substantial amount of time on this earth.

The first thing I believe we all do is find our own god (or God). “What”, you say? No, not everybody finds God. Some people never really think about God much at all, some spend a good portion of their lives “searching for God,” and some people are sure they have found God and live with a certainty that they know God and everything about God and living the spiritual life. And some are certain that there is no such thing as God or a spiritual, other realm (those described as “atheists” or agnostics).

I say, I think we all find our god (or God). Everyone. What is god to you? What drives you? What do you live for? What gives you meaning? What keeps you from just giving up, becoming overwhelmed by everything? Why live? I’m saying that if we stay here and continue living our lives, there’s something that we consider our “god.”

For some people with a lot of ambition and drive and perhaps insecurity, money is their god. Don’t we all see that? Some people are driven only by money. Getting rich, very rich. Proving that they are better than anyone else. Having more money than everyone else, that’s success. For others, there are other things that become their god. How about sex for the sex addicts? Relationships for the relationship addicts? Drugs and alcohol become gods for many. Of course for some religious people the God of their particular religion becomes their God. I’m saying we all find something that becomes our “god,” even if we don’t see it that way.

On a personal note, I must say that I’ve never been a shallow person. I’ve always been a deep person, even if I didn’t know that in my earlier life. I never got hooked on the superficialities of life, as I see it. I was never into accumulating a lot of possessions. Or trying to be or look better than anyone else. Money was never a god for me. Yes, money is very important in having a good life and functioning well through all of life’s phases, but I never considered it a god like some people do. So, what is my God?

I would say my God is the creative, life force that gave me life and has sustained my life this far. I would not say it is the God of the church, the temple, the synagogue, most religions. Well, yes in some sense, but religious systems have a well-defined, concocted definition of God that I see as limited and a speculative invention. My God is the universal force of the universe, whatever the hell that is. And it is very real to me. Coming from an evangelical Christian background in my teens, that is a major shift in my theology.

My walks in the cemetery help me reflect on the deeper aspects of life.

So, I’m saying we all find our God in this life, whether we realize that or admit to that or not. And my second thing we all do, as I see it, is we all have our own life story inside of us. Some of us openly tell others our story, perhaps in a book such as an autobiography. I haven’t written my autobiography, but I have written over ninety blog posts telling a lot of my life stories. A lot of my life story is in those ninety or so essays. And, or course, many people do not write out their stories, but they do have them inside of their heads, so to speak. Many keep them there all their life and die with them. Others, like myself, tell them in bits and pieces as we wander through life with our friends and companions.

And then there is the one thing we all will do as this life comes to a conclusion. When the time comes, we all must face the impermanence of life and let go of everything. Yes, let go of everything, totally, completely. That’s not being morbid, really, as I see it, that’s being realistic. We all have to do that. And it may take various forms.

Some of us will have time to ponder this end stage of life. We will face it for a certain period of time before we “let go.” Others may experience a quick or even instantaneous release of our life. Some may let go in their sleep. No matter how, I think we all play some part in the letting go and releasing of our grasping of life. That’s my thinking about this, but I guess we don’t know anything for sure until that time comes and we experience it.

So, how do I feel about all of this? Well, I feel good about my concept of God. Not that I understand much of any of it, even being the theologian that I am. And about our life story we carry around with us all through life. Well, I’ve worked on letting some of that story out through my writing and sharing with people. My good friends have a pretty decent and accurate sense of who I am, and I’m cool with that. And then, that final part, that letting go. Well, I’d prefer to live forever here on this earth plane, but that is not up to me. Nature has its laws, and all living things must die. So, I guess we just have to deal with that. I do work at being in a good place of peace, love and completeness with life, including forgiveness where necessary so I can leave this life feeling good about my life. And, if consciousness survives physical death, well, I’ll be somewhere with God or the creative force. Perhaps with the sages. That would be nice. Perhaps with Jesus, whom I love dearly. And if there is no consciousness after life ceases, well, case closed. Life is over and done with. And I hope that is not the case. Out of my hands, like so much of life.

Live the best life you can. That’s my advice. Be love. Be compassion. Be with the universal life force (God if you will). And let it go when it is over. Go in peace, go in joy, go in love. Be thankful for it all.

Wally

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The 90% Factor [Post #92]

I’m realizing something at this stage of life. Living a long life gives one the opportunity to see things in the “big picture,” to have a different perspective on life than was possible earlier because we were all caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, making a living. This is a time in life to reflect and think on the meaning of life and all that goes on, day-to-day.

One realization that I have come to is that so much of life is B.S. So much… I’m thinking maybe up to ninety percent of life is really just B.S. (baloney). But we have to put up with it in order to get through it all and have the life we are meant to have, the good life that we want. And I do not mean to be negative, necessarily. I absolutely believe in being positive about life. It is truly a blessing, full of goodness if we look for it, see it, live it.

But when you look at things in life you can see so much that is stupid, baloney, manipulative and controlling by others. What got me thinking about all of this was the number of telemarketing calls I get every day. Yes, I did get on the “do not call list” years ago, but did that make a difference? No, that didn’t stop them. Then I started thinking about all the other things in life. I saw all the fraudulent emails I get daily. And the fraudulent activities on the internet. And having your identity stolen and all of that kind of stuff. I’ve learned that once you get on a list, watch out! Or give some money to a charity and every charity on the face of this earth is bombarding you with requests daily.

I just wish I was aware earlier in life of this fact. Yes, life would still have been ninety percent baloney, but I think I could have handled life much better, had a more detached perspective, a more Zen and stoic approach to everything. Perhaps I would have disregarded the unimportant and damaging situations and events that daily life entailed.

At this stage of life, I just don’t care about so much of what life seems to consist of. I only want at this point the ten percent of the positive, the good, the wonderful of life. I do believe we can conclude our life adventure with an upbeat, joyous, contented feeling of our life story. There are good activities, good people doing good things in this world. I’m interested in finding out about these people and the good that is happening around the globe. I know it exists. The news outlets may not report it. Our society and culture may deny there’s any good in the world these days, but I know better. I search out the books and articles of the good occurring in our day, in our world.

So, yes, there’s a pessimistic and an optimistic theme in this blog. Ninety percent of life may be crap, as I call it. But the ten percent remaining of life. I want to live in that realm. I need to carefully choose what I think, what I listen to, what I react to, or rather how I react. If I just “drift” along with our culture, with the extremists, the wacko conspiracists, the cultists and rigid religious authoritarians, I’m sunk. I’m depressed, I’m hopeless.

So, just after I wrote this, being curious if anyone else thought that life is ninety percent B.S., I got quite a surprise. Here I thought I was being so original in my thinking, so creative. Well, it turns out there is a law covering just this topic I’m discussing. It’s called “Sturgeon’s Law, which states that “ninety percent of everything is crap.” It was coined by Theodore Sturgeon, a science fiction author in 1957.

And I thought I was so original in coming up with this idea. Theodore Sturgeon came up with this law in 1957!

And Rudyard Kipling’s “The Light That Failed” (1890) used the adage “four fifths of everybody’s work must be bad. But the remnant is worth the trouble for its own sake.” Also, in 2013, philosopher Daniel Dennett championed Sturgeon’s law as one of his seven tools for critical thinking. “90% of everything is crap. That is true, whether you are talking about physics, chemistry, evolutionary psychology, sociology, medicine – you name it- rock music, country western. 90% of everything is crap.”

Well, I say that sounds a bit extreme, but I agree in general terms with where he’s coming from. A lot is crap! Perhaps you agree, perhaps you don’t. But that’s how I see it. I have to work hard to stay in the ten percent positive part of life. Hard work. Just drifting along won’t work for me. Didn’t work earlier in my life, won’t work now. The difference is that now I am aware. Bring on the GOOD, God (universe, or however you see the ultimate of existence)! The cultists, conspiracists, doomsayers, MAGA’s, stay away from me. Even you telemarketers and obnoxious salespeople, Stay away. I want to live out my life in an upbeat, positive way. No civil war, no apocalypse, No buying and stocking up on guns and ammunition as some friends and family have suggested. Have some faith, yes, the faith you claim to have and live!

Wally