They say public speaking is the biggest fear that most people have, worse than the fear of death. I never really understood that, but, okay, maybe it is. I’ve never been terrified of it, but after my first experiences with it, maybe I should have been. In college I took a speech class, just for fun. Didn’t really think much about it, just jumped right in to see what it would be like. All went well until our first real challenge, impromptu speaking. We had to give a three-to-five minute talk about whatever the professor picked as our individual topic after we were standing in front of the class. So, there I am standing in front of the class as professor Hanson says, “talk about a comb.” Um, really, okay, um…. I have no memory of how I handled that one. I must have said something for the allotted time. A comb Really I remember standing there and I must have survived somehow.
The next time I got into a similar situation was when somehow I got persuaded to go to a Toastmasters meeting where people practice public speaking. Once again, I just jumped in and said to myself, “why not, maybe I’ll learn something.” Similar experience. For the newcomers, they had us stand up and talk about whatever topic the speaker gave us. The leader said, talk about jodhpurs.” Huh, I thought. What the hell. “You know, the English horse riding attire, she said. Huh, I thought. Once again I cannot recall how I stood there and talked about something I knew nothing about, but once again I survived.
So, I end up in seminary after college preparing for a possible ministry career. At least now I can choose the subjects of my talks and prepare them in advance. My first preaching experience was at a hospital chapel. At least I had a grasp of my subject but it was not encouraging that most of the audience had been wheeled into the chapel in their wheelchairs and slept through my sermon. That should have been the end of this public speaking project now that I look back at all of this, but I kept going.
Well, I did not complete my seminary education and get my Masters of Divinity degree or get ordained in the denomination I was studying in. I did do some public speaking and preaching engagements over the years since, though. As a guest speaker I did okay and got some good reviews. If I had pursued that line of work I’m sure I would have done well with more experience (“practice makes perfect”, they say).
But as fun as being a guest speaker was for me, it was a bit unsatisfying for me because it took so much work, the task lasted for maybe fifteen minutes or so and a few days later, nobody really remembers what I said. I found that rather limiting as far as any real impact in the whole scheme of things for me. I realized that the written word has a little more impact and permanence and I started thinking about writing. People had told me they were impressed with my writing when I wrote essays, etc. My college roommate was very impressed when I had to write my draft board to beg them to renew my draft exempt status because I lost it during my college education.
I had always enjoyed writing. In an earlier blog I wrote about how my father was a writer and I must have picked up that interest from him. As a kid I published a neighborhood newspaper and really enjoyed that experience. I tried writing short stories and fiction in school but didn’t do well with that. I was better at nonfiction .
So, fast forward to today. I had always thought of writing my memoirs, just as my dad had done a long time ago. I found that project too much for me and realized I’d never sit down and write a whole book, an autobiography. I made attempts, but found it all a bit overwhelming. Then I began to consider writing short essays or what was becoming popular in our technical/computer age as “blogging.” That made more sense to me, I could handle that. I can write short pieces regarding my life and thoughts, etc., whereas I’d probably never put my life into a book.
So, about a year and a half ago I explored what would be involved in writing a blog. The more I studied blogging the more interested and excited I got with the idea. I talked the idea over with my spiritual consultant that I see periodically and decided I was going to give it a go.
Exploring the internet, I discovered a site that laid out how to get a blogging website up and running and I went for it ( after the usual procrastination involved in trying something new like this and pushing myself out of my “comfort zone”). Hey, just like starting out in public speaking. Just decide to go for it!
When I sat down to set up my website it asked for a title I wanted for my blog. The strangest thing was that I didn’t have to even think about that one, a title just came to me automatically, instantaneously, “On the Path.” It just popped into my head. That’s what life is, I was thinking, we are all on the path of our lives, whatever that may be for us. Then it asked for a subtitle, or whatever term they used. Again, no hesitation, no real thought involved, a phrase just popped into my head, again, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” That’s my feeling at this stage of my life, it is a wonderful life! It’s a wonderful life being on my path.
So, it’s a year and a half after this “experiment” began and I’m quite satisfied. I’ve gotten good responses and reviews. People I’ve known since my very early years have said things like, “I’ve known you through all these years and experiences and seen you go through all these things, but it’s interesting to see how you viewed the events and situations and how you see them now.” And those more recent friends who don’t know much about me have the opportunity to read my posts and get caught -up-to-speed.
It’s an interesting process to get my thoughts together and organized and out of my head and into the written word. It’s also a bit of therapy for me to see these things now and how I express them. Before getting them down into the written word, sometimes these thoughts and memories are just a jumbled mess in my mind. It is like doing therapy on myself.
So, I tried public speaking. I tried preaching. I tried writing. All good experiences. Writing seems to be my preferred means of expression at this point on my path. We never know that the future will bring, maybe something new and different, but this is where I am today, writing my life and thoughts in blog posts, in a public forum. It truly is a wonderful life. Thanks for joining me on this journey.
Wally