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Letting Go [Post 36]

A very hard skill to learn, perhaps the hardest practice or skill to acquire in life is the “art of letting go.” If one can truly learn to let go in life, one can live a better life, a good life, even a great, joyous and happy life. Not being able to acquire this skill can wreak havoc emotionally and psychologically and mentally for one’s entire existence.

I feel very fortunate that I have been blessed with this ability as as innate part of my psychological makeup, or so it seems. Of course I’ve been hurt, I’ve been through some really dark periods, perhaps abused and abandoned at times. I’m not denying deep hurts in my life. But, I have been able to, with time and personal inner work and occasionally assistance from others been able to heal my wounds and move forward. Healing and moving on has saved me much mental turmoil and allowed me to live a freer, fuller life. I’m so glad I am not a clinger, a hanger-on to both bad and good experiences. I feel one of the great teachings of Buddhism is to not have attachments, to not cling to desires.

Now, I know what I just said can be easily misunderstood and often is in our culture. Desires and attachments and clinging and greed are big things in our society. They are normal, most people would say. But, I say the more you can eliminate these habits, the better off you will be.

Lets take bad experiences. We all will have bad, hurtful, even tragic experiences in life. Just gonna happen. They can destroy us if we can’t move through them and find some way to heal from our wounds. Death is one of the hardest experiences to go through. No one can avoid the horrible feelings of losing a loved one in death. Well, except for the psychopath or sociopath personality. I’m talking about normal people.

Some people get stuck at that point. They have experienced the gut-wrenching experience of having a loved one die, gone completely and forever from this earth. We feel we’ll never get over the loss and some people never do. I’ve come to believe that may be true. In fact, I believe that it may be true that we never really “get over a death of a loved one,” but we can “get through” the loss and have a great deal of healing from the experience over time, often a long time. On the other hand, some people never recover from a tragic loss, they are permanently damaged. I saw that in my mother, when her father died when I was a little kid. She went off the deep end, as they say. She went mental and never recovered, just got progressively worse over the years until her death when I was twenty-five.

We all have to let go of loved ones, like our parents if we outlive them. Those times with my parents (above), gone forever.

I have experienced the death of loved ones and friends as difficult times. I have grieved. I have eventually gotten through the grieving and moved on in life, not forgetting the loss, but accepting it as part of life. I certainly don’t mean to minimize the depth of hurt or the sometimes long process of healing. What I’m saying is that I don’t get permanently stuck in a bad mental state.

Now, besides the death experience, there are lots of times during our lifetimes that we have to “let go” of things and experiences and periods and phases of our lives. I’ve had to let go of my first experience of having a life partner. It was a sick relationship as I see it. It was bad, psychologically and emotionally. It was very unhealthy, as I see it now. I have had to let go of friends that were not good for me in my life. Friends and acquaintances who were mean, nasty, crazy, unbalanced, etc. Haven’t most of us? Not always easy. Not pleasant, but such a relief once we have done it and healed from our “sin” (mistake) of picking the wrong people to have around us in our perhaps more “needy” times.

Loved my flying days. Fulfilled my dream, but those days are in the past.

I have had to let go of some loves and pleasures of my life. I relinquished my wonderful “hobby” of piloting airplanes, my childhood dream come true. I thoroughly enjoyed the many years of flying, but the time came when it was too expensive and I didn’t have the time to keep up with all I needed to do to keep my licenses current and active. Yes, I have friends that don’t understand how I could give up that great love in my life, but that’s okay, they don’t have to understand me. I just knew the time had come to “let it go .” I did what I had to do at that time in my life.

I had no problem retiring from my airline career. It was mostly a great experience, my thirty-three years as an airline employee. I had picked the right industry and field of work for me and really loved it. But after my time there, I easily let it go. I know some friends that have a very difficult time retiring, adjusting to a new lifestyle, but not me. I had my great time working and it was time to go, time to begin a new experience of being “retired.” Yes, it did take a time of adjustment in some ways, but my head was good with it all. I let it go!

Looking at a different aspect of letting go, I’ve also had to let go of some assumptions and dreams, expectations and promptings of society and friends that were not right for me, in all honesty. I had to give up the assumed role in society of becoming a “family man,” getting married (heterosexually, of course), and having children, you know, that whole experience. It was in my twenties that I realized that dream, that picture was not going to happen for me. That was not the path I would want to choose. I had to let go of that expectation. I had expected that after college graduation I would follow the plan and become a stereotypical family man with all the trimmings. There was a different path awaiting me.

The good times. Playing charades with friends. Temporarily gone but will return.

So, life is a lot about living true to yourself, enjoying the good times when they come along, not grasping to hang on to them (yes, the good times), and also experiencing the dark or bad times and also not grasping and holding on to them, also. The bad times, I feel, must be worked through, doing whatever work one must to get centered again in life, grieve, and move on. Always working to be emotionally healthy, balanced, authentic, joyous and happy, that’s the formula for living a good life, as I see it. Not resisting what reality is staring you in the face right now, this moment. Handle it, heal it, and move forward.

Now, as I write this, the world is going through a complete upending of everything, with the virus affecting the entire world. Talk about “letting go!” We are being forced to let go of so much, all at once, almost everything which we consider a normal part of life. Living freely, gathering in groups, socializing, going to events. traveling, going to restaurants, whatever. Everything we took to granted as just a part of everyday life. We have had to let go, period. Not much choice involved. Just mundane shopping now involves dressing up in protective gear and avoiding people.

That final “letting go,” letting go of life, everything we were, everything we dreamed, all our loves, at least on this earthly plane.

So, of course we will all have to experience that final, grand letting go of all time. The letting go of life on our death bed or wherever. Yes, I know in our culture we avoid all thought of this final release of all we are, all we have been, with no hope of anything more in this life, on this planet. All of life. Adios, farewell, and all of that. The big release, letting go. How do you feel about that? How have you handled that thought? Will you handle that thought with the time you have left? Personally, I have had two experiences in my life where I faced my death. I mentioned them in previous blogs. I have a feeling those experiences will resurface in my final hours or minutes in as vivid a way as they did previously, except this time I will know that “this is it, for real.” Perhaps there was a reason I had a dress rehearsal for this event many years ago.

To sum this all up, letting go is a good skill to have as we navigate through life. A difficult skill for most of us, an impossible skill for some of us. It will affect how we live our lives. It will affect our deep serenity and happiness and joy in life, I believe.

I believe in enjoying life, the good times, such as a helicopter tour of Kauai, Hawaii, above. But I say don’t cling , hold on the the good times in an unhealthy way , enjoy them and let them be fun memories.

Wally

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Playing the Role of a Prophet [ Post # 35 ]

Okay, I’m not comfortable with calling myself or thinking of myself as a prophet. I’m speaking of “prophet” in the biblical sense. A Prophet in the Bible was someone inspired by God, someone who would speak for God to the people. So, I certainly don’t want to put myself in that role, but maybe it’s time to play that role, if only temporarily right now. I do have some definite thoughts of the world situation right now, and in the past I do admit to having very mysterious experiences of Spirit, God, the Universe, the “whatever” speaking to me. I have had a former friend proclaim herself a prophet and travels the world speaking with world leaders, pronouncing her experiences as the word she receives from what she calls God. It is often awful stuff she proclaims, such as terrible things happening in the world because of same-sex marriage and gays being allowed in the military, etc. So, I certainly have as much right to feel I hear God speaking to me, especially when what is spoken turns out to be true, not just speculation and personal prejudice and judgments.

I have strong feeling about what is happening right now in the world. I’m looking at the facts. I’m doing my best to leave politics out of this. I am relating what I am seeing. I am accessing deep feelings from a prayerful and spiritual perspective. What you think of any of this is your business. I am doing what I feel I must do.

My number one rule in life, for me, is to deal with what is right in front of me. Deal with reality, what’s happening right now, in this moment. No hiding, no turning away, no denying what is visible before my eyes. Got to deal with it, I say to myself, whatever “it” is. That’s just the way it is, that’s just life as it come to me moment-by-moment.

We are experiencing a global crisis right now. Overnight, the world has turned upside down. We are experiencing something we have not experienced before. Basically, the world is shut down. Everything is grinding to a halt. The unbelievable is happening. We are forced to be exposed for who we really are. We are stunned. That’s what’s happening, in real time, right before our eyes.

This is time to face the facts. I have received your texts, facebook postings, emails, whatever, telling me this is all a hoax, this “virus” thing. I have seen the right -wing celebrities (Rush Limbaugh, Judge Jeanine Pirro, Sean Hannity, government leaders) on tape laughing, saying this is not real, this is nothing but a common cold, a total hoax, a political tactic to influence the upcoming election. It’s on tape, folks. I received posts saying the media, liberals, democrats are making this up, asking if I know anyone who has gotten the virus.

I want to put politics aside and just deal with the health issue. It is real. You were wrong about this being a democratic tactic, a media hoax. The whole world is involved in this crisis, this horror. It is right before your eyes. Something unbelievable is going on. This is about our basic humanity. You are playing with a real crisis. You are in denial. This is life or death, folks.

Where is God in all of this? Who can say? I happen to believe God always is and God is everywhere. Things still happen that we can’t explain or understand. Yet, there is life in the middle of all this. Humanity has always faced and suffered these things. We all have to face the end of this earthly existence at some point. The big question is when, how, and for many, why? I cannot give any answers to these questions. That’s the mystery for everyone.

Face the facts, folks. This IS happening. This IS serious. This is NOT a political game. People are showing who they really are in this situation. No one has control of this. Politicians do not have a handle on this. Politicians are not medical professionals.

It’s time to be real. It’s time to come from love, compassion. This is not time to let your obvious or repressed hate control you. Not time for stupid politics. Find your “higher self.” Evolve to something better than being obsessed with petty politics and conspiracy theory bulls**t. You claim to be God’s children? Then begin to live like that is so. God is not impressed with how some of you are acting.

Wally

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Different Personalities, Spiritualities, and the World’s a Mess [ Post # 34 ]

Life is basically pretty simple, if you look at it that way. At least the basics of life, as I see it. First off, this world is made up of quite an assortment of personalities. Billions, actually. Everyone is a bit different and many are very different, some extremely different. Thinking about it, I’m amazed we get along at all. We often don’t. Hence the fighting, conflicts, violence, divorces, killings and wars that we have in the world. Of course it’s all very complex, but our different personalities are at the core of it all, as I see it.

Besides the range of personalities we also have a plethora of spiritualities, or if you prefer the term, religions. We have official, well defined religions and we have many individuals that have their own beliefs or spiritual feelings. We all, I think, individualize our belief systems as we all see life differently. Some just accept an established religion as is, some believe parts of organized religion but reject other parts.

For example, I know several “good Catholics” that believe Catholicism, yet have problems or disagreements with certain “Catholic” beliefs, i.e. abortion, homosexuality, papal authority or infallibility, only one true church, etc. So it seems no two people have the same exact religion or spirituality. Wouldn’t you agree?

So, back to our personalities.How do we get along and to some extent accept other personalities in this complex and diverse world? Personally, I’m amazed that we do get along as well as we do most of the time. I guess enough of us have flexibility and openness and compassion to hear each other out and decide to get along or tolerate or sort of agree and accept others in this world. Truth be told, there are a lot of people I don’t care for or really like at all. That’s just the way it is. I have no guilt about not liking some people, even though they may be good people, not bad people. There are many mean, nasty, vicious, intolerant, hateful people. Stay out of my world if that describes you. I have no time for you.

As to religion, I have more toleration for the many different religions in this world. As I see it, religion is our attempt to make some sense out of life, to have something to help us deal with the mystery of existence. Different people choose different religions. It’s as simple as that. Many, if not most people choose the religion they were brought up in in their childhood. Others develop a religion or a spirituality of their own as they grow up and mature in life. Some claim to have absolutely no religion (hence, atheism), but I see atheism as a religion in a sense, especially after spending a few years in the atheism camp of believers in atheism. They definitely have their strong, often inflexible beliefs in the nonexistence of God in any sense.

So, we have these many different personalities, ranging from very good to very evil, from very easy going and compatible to very difficult and impossible to deal with. We also have all of these religions and spiritual paths, some or most, perhaps, very loving and helpful to people coping with life, and some rather harsh and perhaps abusing and violent in the extreme. So, what is the result of all this mixture of personalities and religions?

My perspective is that the result of all of this is that the world is a mess. It really is, as I see it. Yes, the world works, you may say. Many would debate that statement. A case could be made that the world does not really work, not for everyone. You could point out all the problems and suffering in the world. No disputing that. So, perhaps the world works for some people, but certainly not for all.

So, what do we do? How do we create a world that really does work, that works for everyone? There are people that say they have the answers. There are people that say they feel they have a call to “save” the world. There are groups, there are cults, there are religions claiming to have the answers, the solutions to this dilemma. Well, that does not seem to be so. Look at history. There have been horrible periods in world history,and there have been better periods, but always, mankind has been fighting, warring, manipulating and controlling the world’s populations. As I see it, it all depends on individuals. We each have a part to play in keeping this world somewhat sane and “less messy.” It’s that simple. How we live each day, each decision we make, each conversation we have, each action we take affects the world at large. Enough good people will and do make a difference in making the world a better place. More bad people and it gets messier and more evil. Well, that’s not very profound you may say. Well, perhaps, but that is the way the world works. Good people, heroes, saints, sages, teachers have kept this world growing and evolving. they have saved life from extinction and we must be grateful for that, for those people who have stepped up and done their good work they had to do. The exciting thing is that we can be a part of this group of extraordinary of people by how we live our lives. By how we live our lives every day, every moment. Every action we take is important. Are we contributing to the good of the world? That’s the question we need to ask ourselves. That’s how we need to live and be.

Postscript

Once again, after I wrote this blog and let it sit before publishing it, world events have occurred pertaining to my blog’s subject. The virus situation exploded and the world has turned upside down it seems. People’s opinions and feelings and anger are extreme as I write this in late March 2020. The world is experiencing something we haven’t experienced in this way before in our modern age. Many people are making this all about politics, downplaying the situation saying this is all just a conspiracy and hype by the media and liberals and democrats to affect the 2020 presidential elections. Wow. The whole world is doing this just as a political ploy it would seem by their logic. Wow. I really can’t say much more than that now, just wow. I will stick with science, facts, what I observe and know using my intelligence. This is a very unusual time. People are revealing how they think. They are revealing their ignorance, their rigid, fixed political beliefs, at the risk of life itself to prove their point. I still have hope for humanity, but it is being tested to the extreme.

Wally

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Public Speaking, Preaching, Writing, Blogging, and the “Good Life”

They say public speaking is the biggest fear that most people have, worse than the fear of death. I never really understood that, but, okay, maybe it is. I’ve never been terrified of it, but after my first experiences with it, maybe I should have been. In college I took a speech class, just for fun. Didn’t really think much about it, just jumped right in to see what it would be like. All went well until our first real challenge, impromptu speaking. We had to give a three-to-five minute talk about whatever the professor picked as our individual topic after we were standing in front of the class. So, there I am standing in front of the class as professor Hanson says, “talk about a comb.” Um, really, okay, um…. I have no memory of how I handled that one. I must have said something for the allotted time. A comb Really I remember standing there and I must have survived somehow.

The next time I got into a similar situation was when somehow I got persuaded to go to a Toastmasters meeting where people practice public speaking. Once again, I just jumped in and said to myself, “why not, maybe I’ll learn something.” Similar experience. For the newcomers, they had us stand up and talk about whatever topic the speaker gave us. The leader said, talk about jodhpurs.” Huh, I thought. What the hell. “You know, the English horse riding attire, she said. Huh, I thought. Once again I cannot recall how I stood there and talked about something I knew nothing about, but once again I survived.

My seminary where I studied 1971-1972, North Park Theological Seminary of the Evangelical Covenant Church of America, in Chicago, Ill. The denomination is one of the homophobic ones, shown by actions in the past year. I enjoyed my studies there, but had not come out at the time. Now I think to myself, “what was I thinking?”

So, I end up in seminary after college preparing for a possible ministry career. At least now I can choose the subjects of my talks and prepare them in advance. My first preaching experience was at a hospital chapel. At least I had a grasp of my subject but it was not encouraging that most of the audience had been wheeled into the chapel in their wheelchairs and slept through my sermon. That should have been the end of this public speaking project now that I look back at all of this, but I kept going.

Well, I did not complete my seminary education and get my Masters of Divinity degree or get ordained in the denomination I was studying in. I did do some public speaking and preaching engagements over the years since, though. As a guest speaker I did okay and got some good reviews. If I had pursued that line of work I’m sure I would have done well with more experience (“practice makes perfect”, they say).

Guest speaking filling in for a vacationing minister friend

But as fun as being a guest speaker was for me, it was a bit unsatisfying for me because it took so much work, the task lasted for maybe fifteen minutes or so and a few days later, nobody really remembers what I said. I found that rather limiting as far as any real impact in the whole scheme of things for me. I realized that the written word has a little more impact and permanence and I started thinking about writing. People had told me they were impressed with my writing when I wrote essays, etc. My college roommate was very impressed when I had to write my draft board to beg them to renew my draft exempt status because I lost it during my college education.

I had always enjoyed writing. In an earlier blog I wrote about how my father was a writer and I must have picked up that interest from him. As a kid I published a neighborhood newspaper and really enjoyed that experience. I tried writing short stories and fiction in school but didn’t do well with that. I was better at nonfiction .

So, fast forward to today. I had always thought of writing my memoirs, just as my dad had done a long time ago. I found that project too much for me and realized I’d never sit down and write a whole book, an autobiography. I made attempts, but found it all a bit overwhelming. Then I began to consider writing short essays or what was becoming popular in our technical/computer age as “blogging.” That made more sense to me, I could handle that. I can write short pieces regarding my life and thoughts, etc., whereas I’d probably never put my life into a book.

So, about a year and a half ago I explored what would be involved in writing a blog. The more I studied blogging the more interested and excited I got with the idea. I talked the idea over with my spiritual consultant that I see periodically and decided I was going to give it a go.

Exploring the internet, I discovered a site that laid out how to get a blogging website up and running and I went for it ( after the usual procrastination involved in trying something new like this and pushing myself out of my “comfort zone”). Hey, just like starting out in public speaking. Just decide to go for it!

When I sat down to set up my website it asked for a title I wanted for my blog. The strangest thing was that I didn’t have to even think about that one, a title just came to me automatically, instantaneously, “On the Path.” It just popped into my head. That’s what life is, I was thinking, we are all on the path of our lives, whatever that may be for us. Then it asked for a subtitle, or whatever term they used. Again, no hesitation, no real thought involved, a phrase just popped into my head, again, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” That’s my feeling at this stage of my life, it is a wonderful life! It’s a wonderful life being on my path.

So, it’s a year and a half after this “experiment” began and I’m quite satisfied. I’ve gotten good responses and reviews. People I’ve known since my very early years have said things like, “I’ve known you through all these years and experiences and seen you go through all these things, but it’s interesting to see how you viewed the events and situations and how you see them now.” And those more recent friends who don’t know much about me have the opportunity to read my posts and get caught -up-to-speed.

It’s an interesting process to get my thoughts together and organized and out of my head and into the written word. It’s also a bit of therapy for me to see these things now and how I express them. Before getting them down into the written word, sometimes these thoughts and memories are just a jumbled mess in my mind. It is like doing therapy on myself.

So, I tried public speaking. I tried preaching. I tried writing. All good experiences. Writing seems to be my preferred means of expression at this point on my path. We never know that the future will bring, maybe something new and different, but this is where I am today, writing my life and thoughts in blog posts, in a public forum. It truly is a wonderful life. Thanks for joining me on this journey.

Wally

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And When Your Heart Stops Beating, Its All Over, Baby! [Post # 32]

I’ve written a couple of blogs regarding death and survivor’s guilt, so I don’t want to rehash those subjects. I want to look at some other aspects of the end-of-life topic. As we age and watch our friends and loved ones leave us one by one, it makes us look at what life is, really. I’ve stated earlier that death has stared me in the face my whole life. I’ve never been able to deny it like some people have.

So, yes, when your heart stops, it all over. Period. Everything you’ve done all those years, it’s gone, over. You may have been a great person, accomplished a lot, had a terrific impact on the world, but your heart stopping ends it all, instantly. You were there one second, completely gone the next. That really is impossible to handle when you go through that experience, if you’ve ever been with someone as they “passed away.” I remember when we had to put our cat down and I held her in my arms as the vet administered the deadly injection. She’s purring affectionately one second and the next one, gone. It makes you think, “what is life” What is non-life? Here one second, gone the next. All that lifetime, all those events over all those years, all that work, all those loves and relationships, gone, over.

Now, of course, I’m talking about this physical, material, earthly perspective from the standpoint of us living when we experience someone transitioning instantaneously from this life to death. I’m not talking about the possible continuation of existence in the spirit realm. That’s another blog. In fact, I covered that topic in an earlier blog. I’m talking about what a fragile thing life is. We think it’s so solid, so certain, so impossible to suddenly be gone. But it’s not really.

I remember in college my friend assured me that he was never going to die as he was going to be “raptured,” when Christ returned, according to some popular Christian theologies He was absolutely sure he would just float up into the sky to heaven. Hmmm, I thought, that’s how he is going to deny death. Okay, that’s his choice to believe in that. Not my theology, though.

I believe that by contemplating our demise deeply, it can actually help us live a better life. I think some great lessons can be learned. So what can be learned by looking at this subject that many would say is a morbid topic to probe and contemplate? Here are my thoughts on looking at the unpleasant end of our existence.

Life and death are a package deal. If we are alive, we know there is an end to it all. We see it all the time, sometimes motivating us, sometimes scaring us, sometimes depressing us and causing serious mental problems. On the flip side of the coin, there is wisdom that death can teach us.

We can take the position of welcoming everything in our life. Not that we have to like everything. We don’t have to like it, but if we are brave we can be open to all that happens, to all that we encounter. We can be with the present situation, we can be a manifestation of love and compassion, even through those times of great suffering. Sh*t happens. It’s always going to happen from time to time. We need to travel light as much as we can because the world can be very heavy.

I don’t mean to get preachy, but we can learn the skill of letting our burdens go. We can learn the sometimes very hard lesson of forgiving. We can learn to love deeply, no matter what. Yes, life is heavy at times.

I read the analogy recently that regarding life and death, we are all on the edge of the canyon (that deep, dark canyon of death), we just don’t know how close to the edge we are at any moment, at what moment we are going to fall in.

So far, I have not seen a book titled “”Dying for Dummies,” so it looks like we all have to deal with this subject as best as we can, however that may be. I know there are very unpleasant and tragic ways of dealing with this, but I know there are better, healthier, mentally stabilizing and more peaceful ways of dealing with all of this. And, yes, it is horrible to think of this all ending and not being able to control this end of the spectrum, usually.

We all deal with this as we do The best way I can handle this at this later stage of life is to make the commitment every morning to “live like this is my last day!” One day it will be. Where exactly is the edge of the canyon?

POSTSCRIPT

Those killed in the recent helicopter crash after this post was written.

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago. I let my posts sit for a bit to be sure I feel like publishing them and seeing if they need any revisions, etc. The Kobe Bryant helicopter crash occurred after this post was written and I thought, wow, this illustrates so much of what I was writing about. Life is so fragile. We are gone in an instant. We are doing our life, just going along and wham, it’s over. Life can be very sad when we experience these situations.

Kobe with his wife and two daughters at the White House

R.I.P.

Wally

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When People Don’t Like Us [ Blog #31 ]

If you are a human being, I’m sure you have had the experience of some people not liking you. Usually we can sort of figure out why there is no chemistry between us and another person, but there are also some times when we have no idea why we are not liked. I remember an episode in the sitcom of The Golden Girls on TV when the character of Rose was being driven crazy by someone at work who did not seem to like her. Eventually, after trying everything to get him to like her, she asked him what his problem with her was and he finally blurted out, “Rose, I just don’t like you!” Some of us have had similar situations in life.

So, this business of not being liked. How does that affect you? Can you brush it off as nothing, really, or does it eat at you, like it did for Rose? I think we all get hurt by rejection, no matter what we tell ourselves or others. I’m finding that at this stage of life, retirement or the later stage of life, I am not as concerned with not being liked as I was earlier in my life. That is probably because I now choose my friends more carefully and I eliminate those who seem to be a problem for me. Earlier, in my working days, I did not have much control of who was in my environment, such as my coworkers and my managers and bosses. I had to function in a system, not completely under my control.

Looking back over my life, I can see where some people did not care for me, especially, and I can usually understand why that was so. As they say, the chemistry was not good or we did not care for the same things or saw things differently or could not stand each other’s habits or actions. That’s just the way it was.

On the other hand, one thing that really puzzled and bothered me was when someone seemed to automatically, at first sight and meeting, to just not like me or even hate me, with no logical reason, as far as I could tell. With no experience or history with me, this person did not seem to like me and I was stunned. I just could feel their energy. That’s how I would put it. I’m sure that this is not an uncommon experience. If fact , I asked a couple of friends and they confirmed that they have had similar experiences.

Fortunately I can say that this has not happened much in my life. Yet, once I started thinking on this topic, I realized there were occasions in each stage of my life where I experienced this. Of course I experienced hurt when this happened. I was probably only bullied twice or so that I remember and the other times were not that type of situation. I even feel some hurt resurfacing as I think about this. I am fortunate that these rare situations did not affect me as far as altering my life or my basic outlook or perspective on life and people.

We have all seen the tragic results when situations like bullying have psychologically damaged people and they act out in mass murder situations, situations far too common in this day and age. So it is imperative that that we handle these occurrences of rejection and not being liked by everyone in our world in a healthy manner. That we be psychologically sound and balanced and able to handle rejection and the hurt it often inflicts. We are going to run into this situation from time to time during our time on this earth, as I see it.

Getting back to the general topic of not everybody liking us, it seems that just participating in life and in society will cause us to face this dilemma time and again. In my life, the 1960’s were a tough time and tempers and hatred flared over many issues. There was the civil rights movement, the Vietnam War, Federal agents shooting and killing college students protesting, etc. It was nearly impossible to not take stands on these issues, and once you did, you were loved or hated by others, family and friends. That’s the way it was.

Well, so what’s this got to do with living the good life, the general overall theme of my blogs? I feel we do have to honestly face the issues before us and make some decisions, sometimes some difficult decisions of where we stand. We can be very outspoken or be more quiet and reserved, but we must face the issues in our world, especially in our personal world. Take your stand and let the chips fall where they may, I would say. Yes, some people may be upset. Close friends or family, and that sometimes really hurts, I know. But I say, don’t go for being liked. Go for being honest and authentic and loving and compassionate and fair, as much as you can. Some people don’t like me… so what! I’ll survive.

Wally

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Love the Bible! [ Post #30 ]

Hmmm you may be thinking, now he’s become a “Bible thumper.” a “holy roller,” one of them “fundamentalists,” or “evangelicals,” etc. Well, I can assure you I am none of those. Perhaps I should have titled this blog “I love the Bible, BUT….” That would be more accurate, perhaps. So let me explain. I love the Bible, I read and study the Bible a lot. Also, the scriptures from other religions, not just the Hebrew and Christian scriptures. So, maybe, in a sense this blog should be subtitled , “My weirdness, part 2,” in conjunction with my blog regarding my weirdness by being a pilot and obsessed with aviation details ( blog # 28).

A little background may help to explain what I’m talking about regarding my love of the Bible. I was forced to attend church and Sunday school as a child. Then my family ceased attending church. This was when the civil rights movement was going on in the 1960’s in this country. My family did not like churches getting involved in the issue as my family was not in favor of “civil rights.” I didn’t agree with them on this, but I did like the fact that mandatory church attendance was now a thing of the past. Freedom at last from church, I thought.

So, church-free life went on for a few years. My childhood and early teen years were not the greatest for me. I experienced a lot of emotional and psychological turmoil and pain living at home and couldn’t wait to leave home after high school graduation. It was really bad at times and one day I had a “come to Jesus” experience. I needed something to help me survive what I was experiencing and a religious conversion experience helped stabilize me emotionally. It was my salvation, in a sense.

I eventually got involved in a church that my high school friends attended and did a lot of activities with my “church gang.” It was a fun time. I found an escape from my family problems and the depression I had been living with for a long time. After high school I decided to go to a Christian college in Seattle ( there’s a story there for another blog sometime). That decision got me away from home and family and I was looking forward to a college education with a religious perspective. This had to be a good plan, I thought, and as it turns out, it was. I loved my college years. I learned a lot, made some great friends and loved traveling between Los Angeles and Seattle in my VW bug when I came home for summer vacations. It was a fantastic time. And along with this, I got a pretty good religious education, from a Christian perspective, of course, but it was broader than that. My mind was opening up to religion and philosophy and the deep issues of existence.

After college I decided to continue my religious education by going to a theological seminary and working on my Masters of Divinity degree. I did not finish my studies there but really enjoyed the time I spent there studying theology.

Professor Walter Helsel, my college professor for my class in “Revelation” at college. He opened my mind to a more scholarly perspective on a book of the bible many fundamentalists and evangelicals get carried away with in preaching about the “last days.” Here we are fishing in an Eskimo village in Alaska.

So, through it all, I got a good grounding in religious and philosophical studies. I developed a keen interest in what life is all about, about the great mystery of life. After all the study, though, you learn that no matter how much schooling you have or how many degrees you earn, you come to realize, if you are honest with yourself, it’s all a gigantic mystery. Nobody has the answers. Nobody! It’s all speculation!

So, what’s the result of all my studies and life experience? I have developed an intense interest in looking at this mystery called “life'” “existence,” and death. What the hell is all of this? Why are we here? What’s the point? So, I love studying it all and yet at the same time I know there really is no answer to find. We must just live “in the mystery!”

That’s why I love the bible, as well as other religious scriptures and writings. It’s interesting to see how people have handled this great mystery of life through thousands of years. The bible is full of wonderful stories, wonderful teachings, wonderful truths, if you see it that way. Oh, yes, and it is full of some raunchy, awfully violent tales. It also contains some bad advice ( stoning your children, stoning adulterers to death, etc.) It’s human history in the raw and human fantasy and fiction. The biblical scholars are always dissecting the writings and finding new and often fascinating information. In another lifetime I would probably desire to be a biblical scholar, or at least a professor of comparative religions. Ain’t that weird! I guess I just abhor a superficial, shallow, materialistic life.

A few of my Bibles and other religious scriptures and study aids

So, yes, I am a bit obsessed with all of this. I have, at last count, about sixteen or more bibles in different translations. Protestant bibles, a Catholic bible, a Jehovah’s Witness bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, the lost gospels, the Book of Mormon… well, you get the idea, I’m a nut for the worlds scriptures. I have bible commentaries, handbooks, dictionaries, etc.

And more….

So, I love the Bible in a way a scholar would love and study it. It is fascinating. It is inspiring, it can give insight and so much more. My caution to people would be to not take it literally. Those who take it literally have real problems. It’s a collection of writings. See it for what it is. Read up on scholars who devote their lives to this study. It does contain truth. Don’t follow a fundamentalist preacher or televangelist who knocks biblical scholarship and is going to tell you what it all means.

Most people, I would say, do not read the Bible. Some do, but they take it literally and follow what their preacher tells them it says and means. That’s too bad, I say. A lot can be learned from the writings if approached in the right, rational, reasonable way. It’s too bad the secularist, agnostic person can’t often be open minded enough to enjoy it for what it is, for what it gives the serious reader. Much is missed in a lifetime spent avoiding the study of religious scriptures. So much of our culture and society has its roots and formation in religious writings. Even during the years I was a strong atheist I still read the Bible. I just read it with an atheist viewpoint, and I don’t see that as a bad thing. Study truth, I say, whatever that involves. I read recently regarding the bible that even a good book can contain bad things. I would agree. Look at all of it, ponder it, and as I always say, think.

Three general books about the Bible for a good overview for me

In closing. I would just say that two of my favorite books of the Bible are Ecclesiastes in the Hebrew scriptures (Old Testament) and James (New Testament). You know Ecclesiastes, “all is vanity; eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die: to everything there is a season (“Turn, turn, turn,” the song by the Byrds, 1965). I love that book. And the book of James, “Faith without works is dead!” The book Martin Luther hated, did not want it in the Bible and tore it out of bibles because he hated it so much.

So there you have it, my weird love of the Bible as a theology student and a person of faith, but not fundamentalist, evangelical faith. A long twisted life path of “born again,” “atheist,” then a spiritual person of faith again.

Wally

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The Odd Jobs We Have in Life [ Post #29 ]

One thing that fascinates me is discovering what odd jobs or even temporary careers celebrities have had in their lives before they got their “big break” and became “somebody,” became famous. It’s really interesting trying to picture them doing whatever it is they did as they were struggling and trying to find their place in life.

That line of thought got me thinking about my own life and all the strange “odd jobs” I’ve had in my early life. At first I thought, “you know, I’ve only really had one job my whole life, my airline career,” then, upon deeper reflection, a lot of memories came back to me. I realized that I did, in fact, have a lot of odd jobs earlier in my life before I “found myself” and my life purpose (well, my working life purpose anyway). Yeah, I did do a lot of odd things early in life, and gee, I wonder if there were lessons to be learned in all those jobs I had. I spent a lot of time trying to figure life out and what I was going to do.

My first working experience was as a little kid being a model, which I covered in a previous blog. My parents got me into that work as my family was doing that kind of work and working in the movie industry back then. For some reason I really didn’t take to that work much, it was okay, I guess, and I am amazed looking at the photos from that period. I was cute and it was sort of fun. I think my lesson was, yes there is this world of modeling and acting if that’s what I want to do. It’s a busy and fascinating industry.

In my youth a neighborhood friend and I developed a lawn-mowing business. I also got a job delivering newspapers early in the morning twice a week the Eagle Rock Sentinel). Then during a couple of summers I worked on my sister’s and brother-in-law’s thoroughbred horse ranch. My overall impression was that work can be hard and not that much fun and somehow there’s got to be a better way to live and work.

Upon high school graduation my father got me a job immediately. I guess he feared I’d dilly-dally if I didn’t immediately get a job. Our neighbor across the street was a maintenance man for Van de Kamp’s bakery and restaurant in Glassel Park and knew of an opening in their drive-in restaurant, so I went and got my first job after graduation as a fry cook. I actually did okay and liked the work and had fun working with the people there. Never thought I’d be a cook before that, but it was fun.

When the drive-in closed I tried a couple of other restaurants but it was not the same. At Tiny Naylor’s restaurant ( through a connection my sister had with the owner) I lasted one day (I didn’t care for the job), then at McDonald’s in Glendale I lasted a week or so before quitting. Not fun at all. By now I’m thinking that I’d better find something interesting to do with my life or this type of misery will be my lot in life. I’m thinking, wow, a lot of people just put up with this to survive. Is this life? I’d better do some serious thinking about what I’m going to do with the rest of my life .

My list of odd jobs continued. I worked in a packing plant owned by a man in my church. Also at a mailing service run by church friends. In college I was a cashier and food checker in a nice restaurant on Lake Union in Seattle. One summer I was a door-to-door salesman selling vacuum cleaners (rather expensive Electrolux brand) and I actually sold a few! Even had a Mrs. Robinson like experience ( the movie “The Graduate”), but escaped just in time.

One of my favorite jobs was as a busboy at the Yosemite Lodge Cafeteria at Yosemite National Park in 1972. I also worked as a chaplain there in a ministry job that I signed up for while in seminary that year. It was a beautiful place to work for the summer.

In college I worked as a caretaker/night watchman at a mortuary and actually had an apartment in the mortuary. I assisted the undertakers when needed. And, yes, it was an eerie place to live. In seminary I worked at a cleaning service cleaning dental offices, cleaning floors, etc. I did not like that job at all.

So, all of these memories came back to me and it made me think about what were the lessons I learned from all these jobs I tried out in my youth. Some jobs were actually sort of fun, some not fun at all. I learned that I wanted to do something interesting with my life. These jobs gave me compassion for people who feel stuck in some of these jobs. Compassion for those who are living at poverty level and develop negative attitudes about life and work because of the unpleasant jobs they feel stuck in.

The main lesson I learned was go find an interesting line of work. Go for it. Do what you want to do. Make your life fun and interesting. Don’t be influenced by anybody who has negative vibes or advice. Never. Do your thing. If you are a spiritually inclined person you could say or realize that something bigger than you is directing your path daily and it will all work out. That’s the conclusion I eventually came to. It took a long time and a lot of experience, but life did work out spectacularly.

Wally

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Thinking vs. Following [ Post # 28 ]

It is said that things are really bad these days. It’s never been like this, the world and the political situation, etc. Well, having studied history as a history major in college, my opinion is that no matter what period of history you study, you can always find the worst thing happening somewhere in the world. There are always good things and bad things happening somewhere. I see the real problem in our world being that people choose to “follow” rather than “think.”

This came to mind recently when watching tv and a person was interviewed regarding the current political situation. She told the interviewer that she would back President Trump no matter what he ever did. No matter what, anything goes. I sat there thinking really, REALLY?! Wow. And believe me, I’m not really being political on this as I would be just as shocked if a political fan of a left wing politician were to say the same thing. It is hard for me to think people actually think and believe this way. I would say I have never followed any politician so radically. Or any other “authority” figure, such as a minister, teacher, leader, etc. I do not blindly follow anybody, and I don’t think any of us should if we are to be intelligent beings.

I am in favor of thinking rather than following. I know this is a society and culture of followers rather than serious, deep thinkers. We can see that everywhere. People follow celebrities, religious leaders, gurus, charismatic con artists and cult leaders. They follow cultural trends, religious teachings, childhood teachings, often without much thought of why they do. You may say, hey these are all good things. “Teach a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it” the Good Book says. Well, okay, there is some truth there, but that does not negate our individual responsibility to seek truth, to think deeply and look at the facts and the ramifications of all our actions and beliefs and pronouncements. We must always think! Don’t just follow. We have to decide what we believe, what we see is truth, and decide how we will live.

Now, I do allow an exception, in a sense, for someone in the military. In the military you are trained to take orders and carry out those orders. You are trained to kill when ordered. That is a different situation, a subject for another essay, perhaps. But I would still say we must think and take the responsibility for our beliefs and actions, always.

I have read a spiritual writer recently who said to not take automatically as truth what someone says, no matter who they are. A Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, whoever. I agree. Someone is not necessarily right or speaking truth just because they are “spiritual.” Again, no matter what, think!

I learned to think for myself. I grew up in the 1960’s. A wild, tumultuous, chaotic time in this country’s history. I had to, was forced to, think things through . We were faced with new dramas every day. Emotions were crazy, that’s the only way I can put it. I was called a communist because I did not vote for Nixon in 1972. I was told years later by a supervisor at work that he had better never hear that my views of the Vietnam War were any different than his (he served in the war) or I was dead meat. He had no idea what my position was, as we never talked about it, he was just warning me that he accepted no opinions different that his.

Regarding following family beliefs, I was the “black sheep” of my family. I did not share many of my family’s beliefs and feelings about things. I was called a ni**er lover because I did not share the prejudices of my family. I chose to think for myself and not just follow the family beliefs. Again, thinking vs. following.

In thinking about all this, I realize that there are some terms in our culture and society that I do not really like much because of the “code” word they seem to be,as I see it. For example, I’ve never been fond of the term “team player.” My feeling is that what is meant is you will submit, follow blindly, give in to whoever has the authority in the group, not be an independent thinker. Or the term “a good American.” That was used a lot by my family. It usually is a code word for someone who thinks like a person who has very specific political beliefs and opinions that are very defined and narrow. Similarly, the word patriot I feel is often misused to mean something very narrow and specific in meaning.

So, my point is, so much of our world’s problems stem from the fact that so many people choose to just follow (often blindly) beliefs, authority figures, prejudices, society and family teachings rather than using their intellect and seriously study what their positions on life issues are. Less following and more thinking is demanded if this world is going to get any better.

Wally

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Being a Pilot – It’s in the Blood

Flying friends to Catalina Island

Okay, like many, well, at least some people, I’m weird in some ways, I admit that. I will share one weirdness I have that many who know me probably are not aware of. In previous blog posts I mentioned how I became enamored of aviation. and the desire to be a pilot. That occurred in my childhood when I took my first ride in an aircraft ( a Delta Airlines DC3 in the 1950’s) At that point in my life I fell in love with aviation and flight. I now realize that interest/love/obsession (?) is in my blood. It truly is in my blood. I don’t know how that happens. I’m just reporting a weirdness acquired at an early age.

If you’ve read earlier blogs, you know I followed through with my interest in aviation, becoming a commercial pilot, a flight instructor, ground instructor and working for an airline for thirty-three years. Those may be the facts of my working and personal life, but I want to talk about the internal life of being a pilot in my mind all the time. It does make me different from most people in so many ways. I feel a bit weird about all this.

My current circle of friends are not pilots. They may know my past and several have flown with me as I flew them around in my airplane when I had a part-ownership in a fling club with several airplanes. We shared many fun adventures in the sky a long time ago.

But even though I am not currently piloting now in my life, my mind is always in the heavens, up there in the deep blue sky. I am always aware when a plane or helicopter flies overhead. I always investigate what type of plane it is. I can often tell what airline it is if it’s low enough), and if it’s a helicopter, I know if it’s a police helicopter or a fire department or coast guard chopper. Also, I’m very familiar with the Children’s Hospital helicopter and several others. It’s just what I do. I cannot ignore any aircraft in my environment . Do friends I’m with turn their attention to what’s flying overhead? No, it’s usually just an annoying noise to them.

Wherever I am, I am always watching the sky and all cloud formations. You see, a large part of pilot training is the study of meteorology, weather. I am amazed at some of the cloud types and formations I spot and see what is happening in the atmosphere. It’s fascinating to me but of no interest or even boring to most other people.

Which brings me to another point in discussing my “weirdness.” When I fly on airlines, I’m the one person in ten million, I think, who wants to see outside the airplane. I study the clouds, I study the geography, I study the sea and the waves, I’m investigating everything, even the aircraft parts and what’s happening ( power changes, slight course corrections, etc.) I have had three situations where an engine blew and emergency procedures were activated. Okay, those situations did get a few other passengers interested in things! But it drives me crazy that almost everyone wants the window shades down as they have no interest in what’s outside. I’m just the opposite (i.e. “weird!”)

June 30, 1956 TWA 2 and United 718 collide over the Grand Canyon

When there is an air disaster, it gets my attention as a pilot. Given some facts, I can usually make a good guess at what happened. I know a full investigation is necessary before any real conclusions can be made, but I can usually make a good guess early on. I did say usually, but sometimes big surprises await the outcome of the investigation.

I know the significance some airplane crashes have had on aviation and upgrading safety procedures so we have a safer aviation environment today than we had years ago. I was only eight years old at the time of the midair collision over the Grand Canyon of the United Airlines and TWA planes, but I remember like it was yesterday. That crash in 1956 brought about big changes in aviation and air traffic control. The 1942 crash of TWA flight 3 into Potosi Mountain just west of Las Vegas killing Hollywood star Carole Lombard fascinates me and I’ve done a lot of research on it. I could go on and on, but you get the idea, I’m an aviation “nut.” Some people are movie fanatics, some music nuts, some are sports-crazed. We all have our strong, perhaps obsessive interests.

So, that briefly explains this one particular weirdness of mine. Oh, yes, I probably have others. Maybe I’ll cover other oddities of my life at another time.

Wally

Piloting was a good time in my life.