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Surrender [ Post # 65 ]

Ahh, yes, another of those words that we often take as a bad, negative word in this world. To surrender is to be a loser, to give up, to admit defeat. Whether in a war, in a relationship or whatever, we usually mean something bad, losing, giving up as there’s no other choice, etc. But, in my later years I’m looking at that term in a different light. After living a long time, going through a lot of turmoil, chaos, confusion, uncertainty, etc., I have a revised view of what surrender can mean. I mean, after all, we are all going to have to eventually surrender our lives to the “whatever” that awaits us at the end of life. Well, perhaps some of us surrender at that point but others fight, often put up a valiant fight to the very end. Guess that’s our choice to make at that juncture.

So, surrender… looking back on my life, I wish I had had a better understanding of that word. In my early life I was a fighter. I rejected any thought of “surrendering.” I fought, even if the fighting was an internal struggle and conflict. I fought people trying to put me down, suppress me, control me, direct my life how they thought it should go (family and parents mostly and some teachers). And that was good, of course, as I went on to be myself as best I could under the circumstances at the time. I did not crumble, give in to the negative forces active in my early years. I fought for what I believed in, what I wanted to do and the direction I wanted to take in my life. A lot of fighting. Fortunately I was young and energetic. I succeeded in creating the life I wanted.

Probably my mantra in my early life even if I did not articulate it this way. Thinking this way probably saved me during that rough time in my life.

Looking back at that time now, I just wish I had had some sense of the good aspects of surrendering. By that I mean, yes, it was good that I fought for my best interests, but I could have felt so much better if I had surrendered to the fact that life was going to work out if I just trusted in life, that there is good in life and that good is mine to claim and live. I guess you could say a trust in God (or whatever good force there is in life). A “knowing” that all was going to be well, even while putting up the “good fight” against the negative forces.

Now in my later years I don’t have the energy and interest or time to waste in fighting everything in life. Fortunately my early years of fighting so many things and influences did pay off and I created the good life that was meant for me. I am grateful for that now. I ” fought the good fight,” to use a biblical quote. I now have a much greater appreciation for the concept of “surrendering.” I am living now a more surrendered life. Having engaged in a deep study of religion and philosophy recently, I realize that the philosophy that best fits who I am seems to be stoicism. Yes, that seems to fit best. I see that life must be faced, as it really is. Life is as it is. We may not always like that, but so it is. And the best, highest life is the ethical life. Doing right, living right. Making the best life with what we have. Living opposite to these ways, as I see it, creates a miserable life. A lot of people do live the miserable life, but it’s not for me. I’ve been there during brief times in my growing up and it was not good.

So, I am not advocating fatalism, a giving in to fate or destiny and resignation to what looks to be inevitable. Being powerless, believing defeatism, no, not at all. So let me say what I mean by having a healthy sense of surrender in life as I see it.

We can make good use of the practice of surrender in life. I’m doing a lot more of it than I ever did before now. Let me list some of the ways I see surrender now and have experienced surrender at this point in life.

My mantra now. My life today. The only way for me to live now at this stage in my life.

For me personally, I have had to surrender to the fact that some people may not, do not like me. I may not understand why, but that doesn’t really matter. And, I may have medical situations I wish I did not have, but I have them currently. I, at times, must suffer loss. Friends and family die. People leave my life, sometimes I understand, sometimes I don’t. Politics today is a “hot-button” issue. I’m very upset by what I see, how people I know are acting and believing. I can’t do much about that, they are the way they are. In my marriage, I don’t have the energy to fight. I surrender to the relationship, which, fortunately is a very good one (perfect in my humble opinion). So, let me give my thoughts on surrendering as I’ve come to understand the term and concept.

Fighting everything in life is draining and unpleasant and is a miserable way to live. You can’t control everything. For control freaks, that’s not good news. It works better to pause, step back, take your hands off the wheel at times to renew yourself. Recognize that obstacles can be detours leading you in a new, better direction. Surrender to that when that happens. If you are a spiritual person, pray and meditate and spend time in the silence with your higher self. Trust that things will work out, surrender to that truth. All will work out; trust it will all be okay. In other words, have faith.

Yes, surrender… a new way of living. Doesn’t mean accepting evil in any way, but surrendering to a “higher power.” God or Spirit is that higher power for many.

So, yes, my life has improved since I’ve surrendered to the idea of surrendering. Maybe it wasn’t so necessary in my earlier life, but it sure is now. Perhaps this is the great lesson for this period of life. Like I said, there is a big experience of the final surrendering coming up, like it or not.

So, I believe surrender can help us open up more to life, to embrace life fully, to be with the Divine Goodness (God) if one believes in that.

Wally

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A Christian? Hmmm…. [ Post # 64 ]

That’s one term that I’m not fond of. A term I say has been corrupted for a long, long time. Since the invention of the term, actually, around two thousand years ago. The term was coined to describe the followers of Jesus around the first century C.E. A new religion was being formed and the troubles began from the get-go. It was not a cohesive, unified religion. It was, to say the least, a bit fractured from the beginning. There were many factions, many struggles and fights over the beliefs these new “Christians” were developing and inventing in those first decades and centuries. And you know what? Those wars and struggles never really stopped. It’s still going on today. There were fights and conferences centuries ago to develop the Christian religion and Christian canon, the eventual New Testament. Long story short, the history of this new religion, an offshoot from Judaism, has been a mess.

Early Christianity had many theological battles, many wars and killings. Now we have creeds, etc. but really, has it changed that much?

Just study the horrendous things that occurred through the centuries. Those great “Christians” that killed viciously the “heretics” and other dissenters from the “true” religion. Yes, even the Protestants did these evil deeds.

Fast forwarding to modern times, we can see that today the word Christian can be referring to some crazy groups and people. Not that there are not many good, sincere believers in the good aspects of the Christian religion, there certainly are. I have been involved in churches all of my life in one way or another. I even prepared for the Christian ministry earlier in my life. I’m just saying I don’t like using the term in identifying myself. As a theologian I know says, he describes his religion or beliefs as “culturally Christian, spiritually unlimited.” That’s as good way to put it. I’d agree with that. I would identify myself as a “disciple of Christ,” a “follower of Jesus.” That seems more accurate to me than the general term “Christian.” I don’t subscribe to creeds, the narrow beliefs, the established dogma, etc. the different churches often demand.

The position of many today. I get it! Ironically, I still “do church,” but I’m very careful and selective about what groups I associate with.

My “religion” is an open one. That’s it. I’ve been all over the spiritual/religious map at different phases in my life. When I was in seminary preparing for the ministry, I remember a professor telling the class, “don’t ever preach or teach your church people what you learn here in seminary (when you are a minister), you will destroy their faith!” Wow, that says it all.

So, there is a lot of darkness and unpleasant stuff in church history over the centuries. No question about that. But, here’s what I say to you, believe what you want. I’m not going to tell you what to believe, what church or religious group to attend or join. Or even whether or not to attend any church or religious organization. You figure that out for yourself. You figure out your belief system. Think for yourself. Don’t just follow some popular or charismatic preacher or guru. Study, think, reason. Be true to yourself. For me, the term Christian just has too many bad connotations. I can use the term to describe myself, but if I do I certainly mean certain things by that definition that many others do not understand in this world and society. There is more than one way to see the Christian religion or religion in general. I’ve given my definition of my religion in previous blogs. It’s basically, love, and trust God. Works for me. Keeps it simple. And, at the same time, I am deeply studying religion and theology and related subjects. Guess that’s the historian in me, I majored in history in college.

So, my parting words… think, reason, be open-minded. Chill…if you “connect” with the invisible, the “more,” the something, your higher self, Jesus, whatever you call it… enjoy the journey. It can be a good one if you do some work and love a lot.

This statement is no problem for me….

Wally

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Addictions [ Post #63 ]

One of the blessings I am very grateful for is the blessing of not being an addict. Well, not an addict in any bad sense of the word. By that I mean having any “bad,” or destructive addictions. I think you know what I mean. If you’ve lived for a while on this earth, you have seen and known people with terrible and damaging addictions. Perhaps you have some yourself or have had at some point in your life.

I will be honest and admit that there is an addictive gene in my own family. Several family members have had problems with addictions. It is very sad to witness and live through the addictive/destructive experiences they encounter continually in their lives. I experienced this in childhood and later with my first partner/relationship. And of course, several friends have had addiction problems, often never spoken of but there to be seen by all who have any awareness.

It is hard for a non-addict to comprehend, I think, what it is like to have this force, this destructive, negative energy driving one’s life to constant turmoil and problems. Sure, there are periods when things seem normal, but they are not, not for long, anyway.

Of course I’m no medical or psychological professional, so what I’m talking about is from a layman’s point of view. Just my observations and opinions, as in my other blogs on various subjects. I would never claim to be a professional in any field, except, perhaps, being an expert in my own life on this earth.

A book I read many years ago that gave me a different perspective on addictions in our lives.

So, we all know the negative power addictions have on people. But, wait. I’m talking about what we call “negative” addictions. When we talk about addiction, that’s what we are usually talking about, right? Many years ago I happened to pick up and read a book by William Glasser, M.D. called “Positive Addiction” which opened up my mind to a new way of viewing this subject. Yes, we are all familiar with the many negative addictions out there in the world, but do we ever consider that there may be positive addictions that and not destructive. They may even be helpful, healthy and inspiring. Hmmm, that got me thinking. Are there such things as “positive addictions?”

So, what is meant by positive addictions? Well, things like exercise, eating healthy, volunteering, being passionate about the work you do, being giving and helpful to others. Good, healthy relationships (not so much co-dependent relationships), etc. You can come up with many such positive addictions, I’m sure. The runner’s high, meditation, spiritual practices, creating art, music, acting, addiction to “excellence” (being careful of becoming addicted to “perfectionism.” Being passionate about your work can be good, being a workaholic can cross the line to a negative addiction. Being passionate and addicted to a spiritual life is expressed in several psalms in the Bible. And the Poet Rumi, “It is a burning of the heart I want; it is this burning I want more than anything….”

So I have come to the conclusion that there are both positive and negative addictions. I recently wrote a blog on my interest in, okay, my “addiction” to life-long learning, life-long education. I feel okay with that addiction. It pushes me forward towards continual growth, and that is good, in my book.

Just a little aside on this topic. A year and a half ago I decided to eliminate alcohol from my life. My body was not tolerating alcohol consumption very well. It did for many (pleasurable) years, but it reached a point that a drink would just put me to sleep or drain me for the rest of the day. I did a little research and discovered that, medically, there was a point in many peoples lives where alcohol did not work well with the body, exactly what I was experiencing. Well, the bottom line is one day I just quit. And that was that. Again, I say I am very grateful that I am not an addict (alcoholic) as it was no problem to stop. It just does not work for me anymore. It is like my father who gave up smoking one day after sixty some years of smoking daily. Just quit. No therapy, no hypnosis like some require to kick the habit.

So, the point of all of this is that I’m lucky to have missed the family gene that seems to have affected several others. Maybe I have an addiction to life-time learning, but that is okay. I prefer that one over the others I see in this world.

Wally

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Special Friendships [ Post # 62 ]

I recently lost a very special friend. A very unique friend. A very, very rare friend. Never connected before with someone in the way I connected with this friend. And, it was someone I did not frequently see or get together with. And, it was not a life-long friendship but rather a friendship of the last several years. And yet it was one of the closest friendships I have had. Deep and authentic and well, hard to express in words. That’s why the loss is deeply felt. She would be surprised to find herself the subject of one of my blogs. She was a strong supporter of my blogging from day one. She really loved my blogs and always let me know. The fact that she did not respond to my last blog concerned me, I knew something bad had happened, that’s how closely connected we were.

One of many birthday lunches

Every year since we met she would take me out for a birthday lunch. It was a given that we would always go out for my birthday and have a great time visiting since we often didn’t see each other that much. Of course, last year was the exception with the pandemic going on. Otherwise our meetings would be at church functions and church fund raisers at my home which she always attended. So, why was this friendship so different than all the other friendships I’ve had in my lifetime? I had to stop and think about that question. It’s hard to articulate, but I’ll try.

We always connected on a very deep, authentic level. This was a “no BS” type of friendship. No silly, time-wasting chit-chat or gossiping type of conversations. Always very open conversations about our lives, past and present. And very deep conversations about our personal lives and feelings. A couple of times I was surprised at the “wild times” that were confessed. It’s always refreshing to find out that the good people in our lives do have their indiscretions, hey, that’s life. But life is so much more than those times we were a bit wild in the distant past.

Another birthday gathering

So, really, I don’t know what else to say. I don’t experience relationships like this usually. And I have some very good friendships. This one just came along and I enjoyed it while it lasted. I may feel it passed too quickly, but I did thoroughly take advantage of the opportunity and enjoyed it. It affected my life. I am thankful I was there for this and did not just brush this off as a “friendship.”

We did meet at church. We were in a class when we met and agreed to become prayer partners for the class. So there was a spiritual element in our relationship. That probably helped start things off and it just took off from there.

At one of her church fundraisers

So, my point is, there are friendships and there are friendships. There are some “once-in-a-lifetime” friendships that are unique and can change us, for the better. I say, when they occur, go for it and enjoy the time, however long or brief.

At one of many church fundraisers

Wally

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End of the World? … NOT! [ Post # 61 ]

I’ve noticed through the years that people, especially “Christians,” seem to be obsessed with the “end of the world,” meaning the apocalypse, the second coming or return of Christ as portrayed in the New Testament book of Revelation. I’ve noticed a renewed, fired up interest in the topic during the recent period of our previous president. I saw people really get excited about the end of the world coming very soon. Let me back up a bit to my time in college. Another time I experienced everyone around me of an evangelical, fundamentalist Christian persuasion getting all worked up about the end coming. People were really excited about this stuff. At the time, a very unusual book was on the best-seller list, Hal Lindsay’s “The Late, Great Planet Earth.” Hal Lindsay explained how the world was ending soon (he said the 1980’s would be the time, as did Billy Graham, by the way). He explained about how all the signs of the coming end times were playing out then, in the 1970’s. Oh, yes, he had it all worked out and everyone was excited (just like I experienced during the past four years of our previous president).

Well, I was in college and I decided to take a religion class ( I was attending a conservative Christian college). I took a class on the Book of Revelation. The professor was not known to be an exciting professor but it so happened he made a big impression on my life which I never expected. We were going to study the controversial book of the New Testament and I remember him saying that there were different views of the book, and scholars were seeing the writings very differently than the general Christian population, very different than Hal Lindsay’s interpretation.

My college professor that taught me to see the book of Revelation from a more scholarly perspective than the evangelical, fundamentalist Christian view and interpretation. Here we are fishing in Alaska while attending a wedding of mutual friends.

Well, I studied the book and took in the scholar’s views on the apocalypse that was written long ago, like two thousand years ago. It was very interesting and enlightening to study the writings with that different perspective. I eventually wrote my term paper on the scholarly view that the Book of Revelation was just a vision of a man long ago and was written about the times it was written in, about events happening at the time in the Roman empire. Not a vision of a future “end of the world.” I did get an “A” on my term paper and now I wish I had saved that paper to read it today. I must admit, I was quite proud of my academic work in that class.

So, this recent renewal of interest in this subject has got me studying the subject again. It amazes me how people just follow and take in whatever their church leaders tell them about theological issues. How current events are interpreted to mean that the end is coming and then having an unbalanced leader doing and saying crazy things. To them, this is exciting “proof” the Christ is coming again, very soon!

This is the book to read to get a good overview of this subject.

Ok, my suggestion would be to read the book “A History of the End of the World.” That covers the subject very well and I certainly cannot cover this in a brief essay. The Book of Revelation has had a profound affect on the world since it was written. It almost did not make it into the Christian canon. It was always a controversial book. So much of world history is connected to that book and its horrific visions, etc. Okay, that cannot be undone, but going forward, if we view the book in a more realistic way, that it is not God’s plan set in stone and is going to happen, then we can live a more normal life. I wrote a previous blog on seeing things “one way,” and one way only. And thinking only one way, that is not a good idea, in my view, as I explained in that essay.

Yes, I take the more scholarly view on biblical and theological and religious issues now. When I went to theological seminary, I thought I was going there to prepare for the Christian ministry, but God, (as I see it now) had a different idea. It was a time for me to get a good theological education. Time to study deeply in a more scholarly fashion theological issues and religious and church history. It is now very useful, this theological knowledge. I am not under the spell of a charismatic evangelical or fundamentalist or cult leader. I can think freely and look at truth. I can live in a more sane world, even if many others are under the spell of religious leaders who are way off base, as I see it.

A couple of books giving a better perspective on religion from my bookshelf.

As I always preach, “don’t just accept what you are told, look at the facts, look at things with an open mind. Use your reasoning brain. Use logic. Think. Think deeply.

More from my bookshelf.

So, back to the subject at hand. Yes, the world is going to end. Science knows it is going to end. In many billions of years the sun will run out of energy and will die out. That will be the end of the earth. That I can believe. Science backs that up. And I do believe that we can destroy the earth ourselves if we are not careful. We have the means now with our weapons. If we get a crazy person to use those weapons, yep, it could be all over very quickly. Or, if we continue misusing and abusing the environment, we could end this earthly existence in a slower manner. But the vision of Revelation, just a bad vision that a man of long ago had and wrote about, is just that, a horrific vision. It can be a part of your religion, but that’s your choice. It’s not part of mine.

Wally

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Wow, Sixty Blog Posts… A Reflection [ Post #60 ]

So, nearly three years and sixty blog essays. An experiment of exploring my life, my thoughts, my feelings and judgements. At times a scary experience revealing life experiences and secrets and reliving memories of long ago. If anything, it has been a form of self-therapy. Just writing out my experiences and reflections and seeing how my life has evolved has been an enlightening time for me. It has actually solidified and clarified some practices I engage in.

Says it all for me… I can blame my father… learned to cuss from him, but I admit I took it to a new level… my bad!

For example, when I wrote about the Sabbath, my commitment to a disciplined Sabbath became became a deeper experience for me. I liked the concept of a day of rest and I practiced that concept in a haphazard way, but after writing my blog I decided it was time to get serious about the practice and really delay any normal work for the next day; to not do work on my day of rest (my “Christian Sabbath,” Sunday)

I have written about how I achieved dreams I had in childhood and how I never let people squash any aspirations I had (and they certainly tried to). I created my “perfect life,” I really did. It amazes me, now that I reminisce about all of this. I became a pilot. I traveled the world. I found love. I did work I enjoyed. I never really hated. If I did, it was a temporary experience. I do not have any real regrets. How many can say that? I’ve lived a good life. I got to live long enough to see all of this. I did not leave this life during one of my “dark” times, thank God.

I have enjoyed good reviews from friends. Not that that was what I was writing for, but it was nice that they could see my viewpoints and enjoyed my writing. I’ve never been much good at writing fiction ( I’ve tried ),but non-fiction has worked out for me.

So. this experiment of blogging has been satisfying for me and I guess I will keep at it. I see no shortage of material to draw from. My self-therapy has enhanced my life, so, what the hell. Let’s continue onward….

Wally

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Smooth Flying? Well, Mostly [ Post # 59 ]

I have been asked by friends a few times, “have you ever had scary or unusual experiences with all of the flying you have done?” Well, here’s the answer to that question. Yes, I have had a few frightening experiences. Considering the many many hours I have spent in the air, the few incidents were rare, but those were my moments of thinking,” is this it? So, this is how it is going to end?

I was on an airline flight where an engine exploded and it looked bad. I was piloting my own rental airplane and the throttle cable broke and I had no control over the engine, it was at full power with no control whatsoever. I once escaped from a jetliner through the emergency over-the-window exit and crawled through it to the wing, awaiting rescue. And of course, during my pilot training I had to recover from unusual situations, such as being in a spiral dive heading right for impact with the earth. Plus a couple of jetliner engine stalls in flight which got everyone’s attention. So, let me splain….

The big scare for me was on a flight from Los Angeles to London on my birthday many many years ago. In my early years with my airline I would take trips to London quite often, several time a year. I’d do the tourist things, go to plays on the west end, often first run plays and musicals, such as when “Cats” just came out. Also went to discos, etc., for my entertainment and wild times. So, in this case I was going especially to try out a brand new airplane that TWA bought, the Boeing 747SP. Being a pilot, I was curious what this new airplane was like. Was it any different than the regular Boeing 747, this new, updated version?

Well, all was going well until about an hour after takeoff. All of the sudden, there was an explosion and a shaking and a sudden drop in altitude. We were advised to buckle up and and put everything away that we may have had out. The flight attendants went running through the plane putting their things away as they were in the middle of starting the meal service. Soon, the pilot came back to look out the window to assess the damage and situation. As all that was happening, my thought was, “wow, I’m going to die on my birthday, how is that going to be talked about by my family and friends?” How ironic, being born and dying on the same day. Well, we did make it back to Los Angeles, made an emergency landing with all the firetrucks and emergency equipment following us as we touched down. The pilot had warned us they would be following us as we landed. After a couple of hours, we boarded another airplane and made our trip to London. But, for a moment or two, I was thinking, “this is it!’

I had three other “unusual” incidents on airline flights. Twice I experienced what is called an “engine stall” on a jetliner. What that is is when the airflow through the engine gets disrupted and the engine “stalls,” it makes a big “boom” and scares the hell out of you. Both times the pilot explained it as best he could and we continued our flight. Another time, something happened, which was not explained and we made an unscheduled landing in Kansas City. We were in route to St. Louis from Los Angeles, so it must have been something serious as Kansas City is not that far from St. Louis and for some reason we did not continue a little bit longer to St. Louis. The scary thing for me was, I was on my way to San Antonio, Texas to attend the American Atheist’s Convention and be with with Madelyn Murray Ohare and her family. As we diverted to Kansas City, my thoughts were along the line of “I knew I should not have come to this convention… God’s punishing me!” Well, everything turned out okay and I did enjoy my time at the convention.

When i was piloting my plane and the throttle cable broke I happened to be with my flight instructor, so between the two of us we figured out how to get to an airport and land. It was not easy. I think we figured out how to turn the engine off and back on in order to lose altitude and eventually stop the aircraft once on the ground. If I had been alone I don’t know that I would have figured out how to get back safely on the ground.

Okay, the opening of the over-the-wing emergency exit and climbing out to the wing is a bit misleading in a sense. Yes it did happen, but it was a voluntary situation. I was going to school in Seattle, Washington and Boeing Aircraft was there in Seattle at Boeing Field, where they manufactured jetliners. I volunteered to take part in an emergency evacuation of a jet for certification purposes. We were to pretend being on a flight, landing, and then, on cue. evacuate. We had to be able to evacuate within 90 seconds, and we did.

So, those were my abnormal experiences in my flying on airliners and in my own aircraft. I have had my moments of concern. I have been lucky.

Wally

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Wrong Turns? I Don’t Think So! [Post # 58]

So, being in the last decade(s) of life, I do a bit of reflecting over a life of many decades, many adventures, many challenges, battles, dark times, joyous times, loves and disappointments. Recently the thought came to me… have I made any wrong turns on this journey? Surely, I’m thinking, everybody has made “wrong turns.” Made some big mistakes, journeyed down the wrong paths, etc. Got to be a universal experience. Got me thinking deeply. Thinking, thinking, thinking.

I’m here to tell you, I finally decided that, no, I do not at all feel that I have made any wrong turns in my life! Wow, that almost feels weird to say, like that can’t be true. Everybody regrets making the “wrong turns” in life, I’m thinking. But it is not true for me, I feel in the depths of my soul. As you have read in previous blogs, I certainly have had difficult times in my life, dark periods, real internal, emotional struggles. But you know what? I stayed on the path I now feel was laid out before me. Since I have a thing called faith, I would say a path God laid out for me, or the universe or whatever if that is easier for you to swallow.

I would not have wanted my life to go in a different direction. No, really. It may have been a long road, but I am now in a good place and I have had good experiences and realized my dreams and loves. What can beat that? In my book, nothing! Oh, yeah, I could daydream of having accomplished some great tasks and changing the world and becoming famous. That may be a great daydream, but that was not to be my life. That’s just not my path in this life. A great path for others I would agree. If that’s your path, your journey, great. I’m all for good people doing good things and making a difference in the world. Totally behind you.

Do you get envious of other people that seem to have a life of miraculous accomplishments and success? Thank goodness I do not waste any energy on that one. I am all for good people that make a real difference in this crazy world. But, you know what? I had to live my life, do my things. Find my own path, do those things I dreamed of, be happy with my life. And, I have no regrets! I did not make wrong turns. I certainly messed up at times, made mistakes, had bad thoughts, etc., but that’s a lot different than traveling down the wrong road. No major mistakes were made (thank goodness!).

I have friends that have accomplished great things. Artists, teachers, lawyers, politicians, doctors. I love that they did their “thing.” I am sorry for those who feel that they did take the wrong turns, lost or never found their purpose in this life. That is sad. I would say that that did not have to be. But what do I know, really. Maybe that was their “path” to travel in this lifetime. And those I know who have committed suicide by intention or by neglect. How sad, how painful. Thinking of all of this does reinforce my stand that my life has involved making no wrong turns. Something guided me. Something encouraged me. Something inspired me. Even when I did not feel it at all, something was there, in my soul, in my inner being. I never shut that something, that voice, out. That’s why my blog’s theme is “On the Path,” “It’s a Wonderful Life!”

So, I wonder, were there times I could have made the “wrong turns?” Well, thinking along those lines, I could have pursued my finishing theological seminary and become a minister/pastor in a church. Had a nice normal family with children and all. No, that would not have been good. Not in my life. Or what if I had been successful in becoming an airline pilot ( I came very close but something told me this was not the right thing for me.) So, my stand is that I have not made wrong turns.

Yep, me on the right. At elementary school. Early in life. Before I made any real decisions regarding my life, whether right turns or wrong turns. A time of innocence. All of life lay ahead of me. Turns out it was a good life that was awaiting me.

So, that’s my philosophy, I guess. I made no wrong turns. I can’t speak for anyone else. Are there really wrong turns in life or is there just the way our life goes because of our intensions and choices. Something to ponder. I do have compassion for those who have a messed up life. Yes, there’s a lot of sh*t in this world. I believe we are co-creators in life. Co-creators with whatever you call it. Fate, the Universe, God. I am very grateful for my life and all the right turns I made.

Wally

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What’s Love Got To Do With It? (Love and Surrender) [Post # 57]

Love. There’s a word that’s used a lot. Thrown around a lot. Casually and very seriously. “I love this!, I Love that! Love’s what makes the world go round,” etc., etc., etc. Yeah, we use the word love a lot, don’t we? Everyone desires love in their life. They say it gives life meaning. Even with the psychologically unbalanced, with the hardened criminals, all the misfits in life, the psychological experts would agree. The lack of love in their lives is part of their problem. It seems that love is required to have a real, meaningful and satisfying life.

Having gone through a lot in life, I would have to agree that one thing that is required to fully live, is love. In fact, at this stage of life, I would go so far as to say it is really everything. That may sound extreme, may sound very “new age.” But after living a long life, I would stick with my statement that love is everything. After studying a lot about religions, about philosophy, about life, psychology and evil or the dark side of life, it seems the only thing that really matters is, “have we loved? Really loved? Has our life been about love?

I am of the belief that love is Divine. True love is beyond us. It is from another realm. It is not part of the ego. It is, well, like, “magical.” The apostle Paul wrote the famous chapter on love in the New Testament which I think sums it up very well. Says it all, I think.

At this point in life, I am totally committed to living a life of love. I’ve lived other types of life. I’ve lived a life of turmoil. I’ve lived a life of confusion, bitterness, hate, resentment, revenge. Like most people, I’ve “acted out” at times in life. I’ve reacted to manipulations and abuse in so many ways. I feel “I’ve done it all.” From here on out, just give me love or forget it. No more crap. If you are not going to relate to me in a loving way, well, be on your way. Have a good life. Just stay out of mine. I do not accept the unloving stuff in my environment any more. Period. This past four-year period of the political situation this country has been in has had its affect on me. I’ve seen so much unloving action and expression that it has changed me. I cannot respect people I have previously had respect for. Some were close people. Does not matter. When I see the hate, the false accusations and slander, I’m done. Now the biblical passage of Jesus telling his disciples to “shake the dust off of your feet and leave the unaccepting people and move on” makes sense, takes on a whole new meaning for me.

So, I will only live in love from here on out. Decision made. But what does that entail? That question brings me to the second part of my essay. I strongly believe that to love with true, real love, one must go through a process of surrender. Yes, I know that word has bad connotations in this world and society. Surrender. Usually means, to people, to give up, give in, lose, be a loser, etc., etc. And some of that is true. But I think we need to re-define the word.

If you are truly going to love, I say some surrender is necessary. One must surrender some (I’m saying some, not all) of the ego. Some of our strongly held beliefs, feelings and opinions. If you love, you are going to be changed to some degree. An internal change and to some degree, an external change. Required, I say.

When I decided to live a life of love, I had to give up some things. When I got married, I had to surrender to the new arrangement, the new type of relationship. I even had a pastor tell me, oh, that’s dangerous. Hmmm, I thought. Wonder how his life is if he really thinks that way. I hope he was kidding, but it didn’t sound like it.

So, living a life of love and surrender. In a way that does sound like it is a way of life fraught with danger. Being a doormat, being controlled and manipulated and all that. Well, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about being strong, assertive, solid, forceful in living in love and surrender. Not weak, cowering and subject to the jerks of this world. It’s a matter of saying, “no, I will not accept that!,” Do not talk to me like that or treat me like that. We’re done here.

Yeah, these last few years have really had an impact on my life. Forced me to face what I will accept in my life now. What energies I will accept in my immediate environment. No more sh*t now. I’ve seen and experienced too much now.

Wally

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Life Long Learning [ Post # 56 ]

Currently I am involved in a personal project, an in-depth study of philosophy. I just happened to stumble onto this project recently, and I am absolutely enthralled with the study I’m doing. Let me backtrack briefly and tell you how I got here into this unexpected place. I have a collection of some good, intelligent educational cassette tapes left over from years ago when I had my own business of selling and distributing educational and motivational tapes. I gave up the business when cassettes became outdated and CDs became the new technology. The old tapes got stored away and as I was recently decluttering my office area I came across these tapes and realized a lot of them I never actually listened to. The time came to decide, “throw then out, or listen to them and see if they are of any interest to me at this stage of my life.”

Some of the tapes I’ve converted to CDs and am currently studying. Each CD case contains four CDs..

I made the decision to listen to them, at least those that possibly interested me. I converted the tapes to CDs and began listening. For some reason I never put much effort into studying philosophy in school. I learned enough to get through college, but the bare minimum. I studied religion a lot but neglected philosophy (even though they are very interconnected and complementary in one getting a “complete” education, as I see it.

But, this blog post is not going to be about philosophy. Perhaps in a future post I will cover that subject. This post is about a life long habit I have just been thinking about recently, the habit or practice of being a “life-long learner.” At this stage of my life, I realize that habit or practice has been a great motivator and has kept me going, intellectually, and been my salvation, in a sense.

As child, somehow I got into a children’s book club that was a series of “All About” books. All about astronomy, mathematics, geography, etc. I would get a new book every month or so and I would devour it. Loved it. I loved learning new things. In a previous blog I mentioned how I was being steered to not go on to further education after high school. In fact, my thinking when I was young was, “I can’t wait to just be done with high school so I can just go get a job and live my life.” But when my high school counselor refused to let me take English literature class in high school and told me I was not “college material,” that set my mind in a new direction. I did not accept that label and eventually did get into a college and graduate school after that. I did not settle for what people thought of me, how they judged me or tried to limit me.

So, I spent my years getting my “higher education.” I loved that time. I loved college and then theological seminary (see my earlier blogs). I had my mind opened. I saw a big world out there. I traveled the world with my airline job. I developed a side business selling educational tapes for a few companies like Simon and Schuster, etc. I did listen and study the various subjects those tapes covered. (I even sold Trump tapes on how to become rich, etc., but never liked him much way back then).

When I decided it was time to realize my dream of being a pilot (a dream since about age six), I thought, well, nobody is going to help me, motivate me, guide me, so I just better get started and do some studying and pass my written exam for my private pilot license. I did just that. Found some good books, found a study guide, and on my own sat down and did some intense study. All self motivated. I went and passed my written test and then found a flight school to begin my flight training. After that, I got my commercial pilot’s license, my flight instructor’s certificate, my instrument flight instructor’s certificate and my advanced ground instructor’s certificate and did some flight instructing and commercial flying.

So, there are many instances like this where I just persisted in pushing myself in pursuit of more knowledge, or pursuing my quest of “lifelong learning.” I got my amateur radio (ham) radio license a long time ago, I used to log all my reading of books. It was an amazing list every year. In college I took a course in piano playing (I had taken lessons as a kid). I would force myself to take guest speaking gigs when offered, preaching sermons when the opportunity arose. So, even though I, like most people, experienced and fought procrastination from time to time, I always eventually pushed myself forward and learned new stuff. I’ve heard it said that our “in box” will never be empty, even at our death. I certainly believe that is true. I will never complete all the tasks I have set for myself.

So, what are the alternatives to being a lifelong learner? Well, I suppose one can just be a “drifter,” One can just drift along in life. Eat, drink and be merry, as they say. Yes, that can be a good life. Others can be more melancholy throughout their life. Living a more sad type of life. I see that as sad, but a way of life that many seem to choose or as they would see it, they are stuck with. At the opposite extreme of being a lifelong learner as I see it would be the lost individual. The person with no enjoyment in living, perhaps a gang member or a committed criminal who just has no purpose, meaning or any real motivation in life. Now, I’m not talking about a person going through a period of depression, perhaps a long and deep depression. I’m referring to a way of life. A lifelong choice.

So, lifelong learning. I see it as my salvation. I had dark periods in my early life but I propelled myself out of those prisons. Reading my previous blogs will show you that. It has been a struggle at times to make my life meaningful, give it purpose. I am now glad for those experiences. I learned my lessons and they have served me well.

A book from my library. It got me in touch with this whole subject of lifelong learning.


So, now I’m deeply involved in studying philosophers and philosophy. An area I have previously avoided in my life. It is amazing how it is opening up my eyes and thoughts to new ways of seeing things. Not that there is one philosophy, or one religion, one philosopher or guru or one way to believe (my blog, “Only One Way” goes into that way of thinking). I am on a new path in my learning adventure. I will probably purchase more university courses (CDs and DVDs) from a company I deal with. The learning will never end while I still have a breath within me. Then it’s on to learning new things, “somewhere else.”

Wally