Category: Religion / Spirituality

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Living and Working in a National Park [Post #42]

My last blog (#41) covered my summer experience living and working in a small Eskimo village in Alaska in the summer of 1971. So, come the summer of 1972, I’m having another exciting adventure living in a new, unexpected place again, the adventure of living and working in Yosemite National Park, California. Let me back up and tell you how that came about.

Overlooking Yosemite Valley

I attended grad school, a theological seminary from the fall of 1971 until the spring of 1972. Another good time in my life. lots of new activities for me, like preaching at a local hospital of my church’s denomination. Another event during the year was attending a presentation at the seminary from the head of an organization called “A Christian Ministry in the National Parks.” The man talked to us about his organization, which provided a summer program to interested seminary students to live and work and minister in the National Park system. If we were accepted into the program, we would be housed and provided a secular job in the park and also have the responsibility to assist the park’s Christian minister in providing services for the park visitors on Sundays. I had no idea National Parks had Christian ministers providing worship services on Sundays.

Well, after hearing his spiel, I thought, wow, that would be interesting, living and working in a National Park for the summer. So, of course I inquired and applied for the upcoming summer’s program with the organization. That would be a good experience to have when I returned the next fall to continue my studies, I thought.

Well, I was accepted and told to report for an orientation program coming up in Madison, Wisconsin ( the seminary I was attending was in Chicago). I was told that the way the program worked was if you were accepted. you would be assigned a National Park by the organization, you did not get to choose where you would be placed. Okay, I thought, I’ll take whatever they assign me. This will be an adventure, not knowing where I’ll be or exactly what I’ll be doing. Let’s do it!

So the school year comes to a close. By the end of my first year I had decided I needed a break from the academic life. I’d spent several years in college and grad school and was a bit tired of it all. It was just time for a break. Time to have a talk with the dean of the seminary and advise him I probably would not be returning to school in the fall.

He seemed to understand and he told be that he felt he knew me well enough to tell me, “sure, take a break, but I know you’ll be back because this place and the ministry are for you.” I was surprised to hear him say that, being so supportive of my ministerial studies. It felt good being validated like that.

But I had this summer responsibility coming up with this National Park commitment. Well, it turned out that that was no problem. I could still fulfill that commitment even if I was not planning on returning to school in the fall. Whew, I still get to have my summer adventure, I’m stoked.

So, after a drive back home from to Los Angeles from Chicago (seminary) I once again pack up my ’67 VW bug and head north to Yosemite National Park, just northeast of Fresno, California. Never been there before. There’s a lookout point after you enter the park which is a stunning view of the valley, the mountains and the cliffs. I am stunned by the natural beauty like I’ve never seen before. Wow, I’m thinking, this is my new home for the summer. I’m in heaven. I am speechless.

The first view when entering the park of Yosemite Valley.

I spend the day getting settled in. It turns out my “secular” job is to be a busboy at the Yosemite Lodge cafeteria. My ministerial job is to be a chaplain at the Yosemite Hospital. I didn’t even know they had a hospital in the park. It is there for those visitors that get injured in the park or get sick. Well, this is something new for me, but I’m game, so let’s do it. I meet the park minister and get a little bit acquainted and orientated to my surroundings. Then over to the cafeteria to meet my boss there and get my housing taken care of. I will be housed in a tent encampment for workers. I will be sharing a tent with another park worker nicknamed “Frog.” Hmmm, this is going to be interesting I’m thinking.

High above Yosemite Valley.

So, the work begins. I actually liked the busboy job. I get fed. make some money, and live in a tent. I’m cool with this. I meet some interesting people as customers at the cafeteria. I get to know one couple over a period of days and even get a job offer for when my park commitment is over. It was in the insurance business, so I was not really interested, but I did think it over a bit.

After hours were fun times. I would attend park ranger talks in the evenings, explore the valley, enjoy the beautiful falls. I would spend some evenings in the bar where I became fond of “Singapore Slings.” Good times.

The lodging arrangement was a bit of a strain for me. Turns out “Frog” was a nice guy but really into drugs. He had his group of friends over to the tent often at night and they did peyote and magic mushrooms regularly. Needless to say, I did not often get good, sound sleep because of the nightly ruckus. I was not into drugs ( although in seminary I did indulge a bit in marijuana with a couple of seminarians). So, the lodging was a bit of an uncomfortable situation, but I survived.

In the valley.

Every now and then I would visit the hospital to see if anyone there needed some assistance. Often there’d be nobody there (patients), but sometimes there would be and I would visit them. I would offer prayer if requested.

There was a church in the park, an historic church, in fact. They held Sunday services there and I sometimes attended. I was not involved in those services as my ministerial job was at the hospital as a chaplain/assistant.

Some good friends from Los Angeles came to the park for a couple of days. That was fun having them there. I even went home for a weekend once just for a break. I thought that was strange. Here I was in paradise and I had to take a break and get away to the big city. But after a couple of days in L.A. I was ready to return.

It was fun making temporary friends with the workers there. We had lots of laughs and adventures. I did have one or two guys try to hit on me but I had not come to terms with that part of my life yet. In fact, at the orientation in Wisconsin before the summer, in one of the panels we were asked how we would handle a situation if we discovered someone in our ministry group was gay and I responded with a very homophobic response about how wrong it was. People seemed a bit shocked at my response and when questioned further my response was “because the Bible condemns homosexuality.” I was a bit close-minded back then.

Oh, well, summer was coming to an end. When I called home I was shocked to hear that my mother was suddenly diagnosed with cancer so I advised my bosses that I had to terminate my summer commitment a bit early and head home. A sad way to end this adventure, but that’s the way it was. Once again, I grabbed an opportunity to have a grand adventure and I had a great time. Another once-in-a-lifetime experience on my path.

Wally

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My Religion; Your Religion; The “Church” [ Post # 39]

I planned to change my topic after several blogs of the “religious” and “spiritual” theme, but felt I needed one more essay along these lines since my last blog on not being fond of church. In that blog I was referring to the organization and physical building called “the church.” Upon reflection, I realize there is the greater definition of “church,” meaning the community of like-minded people, the community of people or “believers” outside an organization or physical structure.

In this sense people are the church yet may never “go” to church, attending formal services. As I see it, we all have our different beliefs, even those proclaiming no beliefs at all. In order to function at all in life, I believe we all have beliefs in something. Most of us have a belief in science. If we travel in an airplane, we believe in the science of aerodynamics. You get the point.

So we all have belief in something. In the religion/spiritual dimension, we all believe in something. Everyone’s belief is individual, as I see it. Some may believe in just luck or randomness in this universe. Religious denominations have their official doctrines, beliefs, and structures. Mormons, Catholics, Baptists, Unitarians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus all have their different beliefs. You have your beliefs, also, your particular beliefs. They may align or agree with a particular denomination/religion, but I bet your individual beliefs may differ somewhat from the organization’s official beliefs.

So, turning to my personal, individual religion. Over the years I’ve thought about what beliefs I have. They have changed over the years. Over the past two years or so, since I’ve started blogging, especially, I have gelled my spiritual and religious thoughts and contemplations into my personal and very brief statement of my religion. It’s simple, it works, and it’s how I live my life now. It is so easy, now, for me to live my religion. And the best part is I have no guilt, no regrets, no bad feelings, no having to answer to an organization trying to control me in any way to live up to the organization’s standards and rules.

My religion consists of just seven words. Yes, it’s that simple, seven words. Simple, perhaps, but the seven word statement covers a lot. It covers everything as far as I’m concerned. Short and sweet, as the saying goes. My religion is: ” LOVE: TRUST GOD; AND F THE REST.” (For the easily offended, more proper people, let the F stand for “fooey with.”) So, there you have it, my religion, my credo, my standard for living my life.

For me, that statement covers everything. Everything that a religion should cover. Let me elaborate. “LOVE;” that covers a lot. That is what life is all about, as I see it. I love rather than hate. If I love, I don’t intentionally hurt people. I do my best to be a representative of the Divine, of living as “the Father and I are One,” as Jesus said. Sure, I’m flawed, everyone is flawed. But looking over my life, I don’t feel that I have ever “hated” anyone. Extremely disliked someone, perhaps, but not what I would call hate. Hate to me is a crossing of the line, going over the edge. I love peace, tranquility, harmony, tolerance, diversity. I love compassion, sincerity, well, you get the picture. I do not seek revenge. I practice forgiveness, even in very difficult situations, for my psychological and mental health, not to accept bad behavior or let people get away with bad actions . I leave the “getting even” aspect to karma, to life, to consequences that may come to evil doers.

As for the “trust God” part, well, that covers a lot also. I spent much of my life worrying, being frustrated, anxious, confused, angry and pessimistic. After a long life, I have learned to trust. Trust life, God, the universe, whatever you want to call it, I’ll call it God. The loving, creative energy of the universe. It will work out, as I see it. Life goes as it goes. I just need to be “connected,” to God, as I see it. I don’t have that much control over things. Life is basically a mystery. Things are happening behind the scenes as I see and experience it. That’s just something I have come to see after all this time struggling in life. I guess that is what faith is. I do what I need to do every day (every moment, actually) and let that something behind the scenes take care of me and lead me on. When I stumble I don’t need to lose my faith, just collect myself, spiritually, and move on.

As for the F (“fooey with”) everything else, I see most of structured religion as intellectual mind games theologians play with the people. Theologians theorize, speculate, proclaim, pronounce, and organize religious life in human terms. They tell you what God is, what everything is, how you should live, what truth is, etc. They have rituals and actions you should or must perform to be “holy,” “sanctified,” “saved,” etc. They have liturgies and formulas, etc. All find and dandy, I say, if that is your religion, the religion you choose to follow, the religion you believe is the right one. Go for it if it gives you life, a happy and good life, as you see it.

My altar at home in my meditation, prayer room.

What I’m saying in all this is, my personal religion is pretty simple. I like things stated simply. Jesus stated the commandments in a simple statement of, ” love God and your neighbor as yourself.” Meister Eckart the mystic/priest centuries ago) said “if the only prayer you ever prayed is “thank you,” that is sufficient. So, I’m saying, (for me, my religion is), “Love; Trust God and F the rest.” My parting word to you is “Namaste: I bow to the Divinity in you.”

Wally

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Not Fond of Church [ Post # 38 ]

I’m sure this post will be controversial to many people, or confusing, especially to people who know me. It may even seem hypocritical for me to be taking such a stand considering my long history of being involved with churches. Yes, I have been involved with churches for most of my life; but you know, I’ve never felt really, I mean REALLY comfortable with church, the organization and the people.

To make a big generalization, I would say there are two types of people (in the “Christian world” anyway). There are church people, people who have been involved in church for most of their lives, and non-church people. The church people often just grow up in the church, sometimes not giving it much thought, just accepting the church structure and belief system promoted by their church denomination. The non-church people just grow up unattached to church and often unknowledgeable about religious things. Of course there are those in between and those who grew up in the church in their youth and turned away or people who “got burned” by church and church people, church culture, or whatever.

I chose to become a “church person,” which I covered in previous blogs. My family was not a religious family but I rebelled and became part of a church community in my teens. So, after getting religion, or finding God, coming to Jesus, or however you want to see it, I studied for the ministry but stopped short of finishing my graduate, theological studies. So, I was involved in churches most of my life. Some good times and experiences were had and some frustrating and contentious times also. I could never be a complete follower of any line of belief or thought or social group. I have never been a complete “team player” in my life as I value independent thought and personal truth seeking, always. I have an aversion to “group think,” cult following and behavior, guru worshipping, etc. You get my drift.

Yes, it is a bit ironic that I voluntarily got so involved in church and religion but also hold these feelings and beliefs. I definitely live a spiritual life but it is beyond what most churches promote, proclaim, preach and try to enforce by their various means, including coercion and shunning. I remember being kicked out of a church after I returned to my home church after leaving seminary and expressing that I did not believe all the things I pretended or thought I believed earlier. Seminary had opened my eyes to a bigger world, especially a bigger theological world, I guess you could say.

To sum up my feelings regarding church in our world, our culture and society, I feel there is great opportunity for churches and church communities to be a vibrant, inspiring force in the world. Yes, there are good churches and religious organizations in the world. No question about that. I applaud the good organizations doing good things in the world.

I just am a bit leery of organizations and groups of people and political structures and power structures. I have seen too many people abused or hurt or shunned unlovingly in the church arena and community. I am cautiously aware of the undercurrents going on in group situations, especially church and religious settings.

A bit paradoxical that I can be in church and feel this way about church at the same time. Perhaps. The best way I can say it at this time is, “I am not fond of church.” Church can be good. I can enjoy church and participate at times in church, but I am aware of the pitfalls of organizations, groups, power plays and politics. You wont find me selling my soul to any group or guru. I’m a truth seeker, I’m a lover, not a hater.

During my atheist years (late 1980’s) I belonged to the American Atheists Association. I went to their convention in Austin, Tx. and was with Madalyn Murray O’Hare and her family for a couple of days. That was my rebellion to the conservative, evangelical, fundamentalist church. I recovered and found better religion.

So, if you love church, are enjoying a good relationship with a church and its people, go for it. I just say, beware. Beware of “group think,” of narrow-mindedness, of disguised forms of hate and prejudice and self-righteous people. You will find these types of people more in the fundamental, evangelical, legalistic type of churches, I believe, than in the more open, liberal and free-thought type of churches. I wish the church world was a perfect world, but, well, you know, it isn’t. By having the awareness I have regarding this institution, I don’t get burned and hurt and angry like some people do ( like several people I know). I may at times become disappointed in a minister or a congregant, but I try to be realistic and fair and understanding about the situation. I will not make the decision to “have nothing to do with church ever” just because of the above mentioned situations. Some people make that decision, and that’s their decision to make. I just say that that is sad. You can have a spiritual group in your life to help make your life better and more complete, just beware! Maybe this essay sounds convoluted since I’m saying “I’m not fond of church,” and also, “I often enjoy church and it can be a good experience. But, after all, isn’t life like that? Paradoxical, contradictory, uncertain, confusing, crazy and wonderful. I can live with all that and the mystery of it all. At least, most of the time.

Wally

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Letting Go [Post 36]

A very hard skill to learn, perhaps the hardest practice or skill to acquire in life is the “art of letting go.” If one can truly learn to let go in life, one can live a better life, a good life, even a great, joyous and happy life. Not being able to acquire this skill can wreak havoc emotionally and psychologically and mentally for one’s entire existence.

I feel very fortunate that I have been blessed with this ability as as innate part of my psychological makeup, or so it seems. Of course I’ve been hurt, I’ve been through some really dark periods, perhaps abused and abandoned at times. I’m not denying deep hurts in my life. But, I have been able to, with time and personal inner work and occasionally assistance from others been able to heal my wounds and move forward. Healing and moving on has saved me much mental turmoil and allowed me to live a freer, fuller life. I’m so glad I am not a clinger, a hanger-on to both bad and good experiences. I feel one of the great teachings of Buddhism is to not have attachments, to not cling to desires.

Now, I know what I just said can be easily misunderstood and often is in our culture. Desires and attachments and clinging and greed are big things in our society. They are normal, most people would say. But, I say the more you can eliminate these habits, the better off you will be.

Lets take bad experiences. We all will have bad, hurtful, even tragic experiences in life. Just gonna happen. They can destroy us if we can’t move through them and find some way to heal from our wounds. Death is one of the hardest experiences to go through. No one can avoid the horrible feelings of losing a loved one in death. Well, except for the psychopath or sociopath personality. I’m talking about normal people.

Some people get stuck at that point. They have experienced the gut-wrenching experience of having a loved one die, gone completely and forever from this earth. We feel we’ll never get over the loss and some people never do. I’ve come to believe that may be true. In fact, I believe that it may be true that we never really “get over a death of a loved one,” but we can “get through” the loss and have a great deal of healing from the experience over time, often a long time. On the other hand, some people never recover from a tragic loss, they are permanently damaged. I saw that in my mother, when her father died when I was a little kid. She went off the deep end, as they say. She went mental and never recovered, just got progressively worse over the years until her death when I was twenty-five.

We all have to let go of loved ones, like our parents if we outlive them. Those times with my parents (above), gone forever.

I have experienced the death of loved ones and friends as difficult times. I have grieved. I have eventually gotten through the grieving and moved on in life, not forgetting the loss, but accepting it as part of life. I certainly don’t mean to minimize the depth of hurt or the sometimes long process of healing. What I’m saying is that I don’t get permanently stuck in a bad mental state.

Now, besides the death experience, there are lots of times during our lifetimes that we have to “let go” of things and experiences and periods and phases of our lives. I’ve had to let go of my first experience of having a life partner. It was a sick relationship as I see it. It was bad, psychologically and emotionally. It was very unhealthy, as I see it now. I have had to let go of friends that were not good for me in my life. Friends and acquaintances who were mean, nasty, crazy, unbalanced, etc. Haven’t most of us? Not always easy. Not pleasant, but such a relief once we have done it and healed from our “sin” (mistake) of picking the wrong people to have around us in our perhaps more “needy” times.

Loved my flying days. Fulfilled my dream, but those days are in the past.

I have had to let go of some loves and pleasures of my life. I relinquished my wonderful “hobby” of piloting airplanes, my childhood dream come true. I thoroughly enjoyed the many years of flying, but the time came when it was too expensive and I didn’t have the time to keep up with all I needed to do to keep my licenses current and active. Yes, I have friends that don’t understand how I could give up that great love in my life, but that’s okay, they don’t have to understand me. I just knew the time had come to “let it go .” I did what I had to do at that time in my life.

I had no problem retiring from my airline career. It was mostly a great experience, my thirty-three years as an airline employee. I had picked the right industry and field of work for me and really loved it. But after my time there, I easily let it go. I know some friends that have a very difficult time retiring, adjusting to a new lifestyle, but not me. I had my great time working and it was time to go, time to begin a new experience of being “retired.” Yes, it did take a time of adjustment in some ways, but my head was good with it all. I let it go!

Looking at a different aspect of letting go, I’ve also had to let go of some assumptions and dreams, expectations and promptings of society and friends that were not right for me, in all honesty. I had to give up the assumed role in society of becoming a “family man,” getting married (heterosexually, of course), and having children, you know, that whole experience. It was in my twenties that I realized that dream, that picture was not going to happen for me. That was not the path I would want to choose. I had to let go of that expectation. I had expected that after college graduation I would follow the plan and become a stereotypical family man with all the trimmings. There was a different path awaiting me.

The good times. Playing charades with friends. Temporarily gone but will return.

So, life is a lot about living true to yourself, enjoying the good times when they come along, not grasping to hang on to them (yes, the good times), and also experiencing the dark or bad times and also not grasping and holding on to them, also. The bad times, I feel, must be worked through, doing whatever work one must to get centered again in life, grieve, and move on. Always working to be emotionally healthy, balanced, authentic, joyous and happy, that’s the formula for living a good life, as I see it. Not resisting what reality is staring you in the face right now, this moment. Handle it, heal it, and move forward.

Now, as I write this, the world is going through a complete upending of everything, with the virus affecting the entire world. Talk about “letting go!” We are being forced to let go of so much, all at once, almost everything which we consider a normal part of life. Living freely, gathering in groups, socializing, going to events. traveling, going to restaurants, whatever. Everything we took to granted as just a part of everyday life. We have had to let go, period. Not much choice involved. Just mundane shopping now involves dressing up in protective gear and avoiding people.

That final “letting go,” letting go of life, everything we were, everything we dreamed, all our loves, at least on this earthly plane.

So, of course we will all have to experience that final, grand letting go of all time. The letting go of life on our death bed or wherever. Yes, I know in our culture we avoid all thought of this final release of all we are, all we have been, with no hope of anything more in this life, on this planet. All of life. Adios, farewell, and all of that. The big release, letting go. How do you feel about that? How have you handled that thought? Will you handle that thought with the time you have left? Personally, I have had two experiences in my life where I faced my death. I mentioned them in previous blogs. I have a feeling those experiences will resurface in my final hours or minutes in as vivid a way as they did previously, except this time I will know that “this is it, for real.” Perhaps there was a reason I had a dress rehearsal for this event many years ago.

To sum this all up, letting go is a good skill to have as we navigate through life. A difficult skill for most of us, an impossible skill for some of us. It will affect how we live our lives. It will affect our deep serenity and happiness and joy in life, I believe.

I believe in enjoying life, the good times, such as a helicopter tour of Kauai, Hawaii, above. But I say don’t cling , hold on the the good times in an unhealthy way , enjoy them and let them be fun memories.

Wally

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Different Personalities, Spiritualities, and the World’s a Mess [ Post # 34 ]

Life is basically pretty simple, if you look at it that way. At least the basics of life, as I see it. First off, this world is made up of quite an assortment of personalities. Billions, actually. Everyone is a bit different and many are very different, some extremely different. Thinking about it, I’m amazed we get along at all. We often don’t. Hence the fighting, conflicts, violence, divorces, killings and wars that we have in the world. Of course it’s all very complex, but our different personalities are at the core of it all, as I see it.

Besides the range of personalities we also have a plethora of spiritualities, or if you prefer the term, religions. We have official, well defined religions and we have many individuals that have their own beliefs or spiritual feelings. We all, I think, individualize our belief systems as we all see life differently. Some just accept an established religion as is, some believe parts of organized religion but reject other parts.

For example, I know several “good Catholics” that believe Catholicism, yet have problems or disagreements with certain “Catholic” beliefs, i.e. abortion, homosexuality, papal authority or infallibility, only one true church, etc. So it seems no two people have the same exact religion or spirituality. Wouldn’t you agree?

So, back to our personalities.How do we get along and to some extent accept other personalities in this complex and diverse world? Personally, I’m amazed that we do get along as well as we do most of the time. I guess enough of us have flexibility and openness and compassion to hear each other out and decide to get along or tolerate or sort of agree and accept others in this world. Truth be told, there are a lot of people I don’t care for or really like at all. That’s just the way it is. I have no guilt about not liking some people, even though they may be good people, not bad people. There are many mean, nasty, vicious, intolerant, hateful people. Stay out of my world if that describes you. I have no time for you.

As to religion, I have more toleration for the many different religions in this world. As I see it, religion is our attempt to make some sense out of life, to have something to help us deal with the mystery of existence. Different people choose different religions. It’s as simple as that. Many, if not most people choose the religion they were brought up in in their childhood. Others develop a religion or a spirituality of their own as they grow up and mature in life. Some claim to have absolutely no religion (hence, atheism), but I see atheism as a religion in a sense, especially after spending a few years in the atheism camp of believers in atheism. They definitely have their strong, often inflexible beliefs in the nonexistence of God in any sense.

So, we have these many different personalities, ranging from very good to very evil, from very easy going and compatible to very difficult and impossible to deal with. We also have all of these religions and spiritual paths, some or most, perhaps, very loving and helpful to people coping with life, and some rather harsh and perhaps abusing and violent in the extreme. So, what is the result of all this mixture of personalities and religions?

My perspective is that the result of all of this is that the world is a mess. It really is, as I see it. Yes, the world works, you may say. Many would debate that statement. A case could be made that the world does not really work, not for everyone. You could point out all the problems and suffering in the world. No disputing that. So, perhaps the world works for some people, but certainly not for all.

So, what do we do? How do we create a world that really does work, that works for everyone? There are people that say they have the answers. There are people that say they feel they have a call to “save” the world. There are groups, there are cults, there are religions claiming to have the answers, the solutions to this dilemma. Well, that does not seem to be so. Look at history. There have been horrible periods in world history,and there have been better periods, but always, mankind has been fighting, warring, manipulating and controlling the world’s populations. As I see it, it all depends on individuals. We each have a part to play in keeping this world somewhat sane and “less messy.” It’s that simple. How we live each day, each decision we make, each conversation we have, each action we take affects the world at large. Enough good people will and do make a difference in making the world a better place. More bad people and it gets messier and more evil. Well, that’s not very profound you may say. Well, perhaps, but that is the way the world works. Good people, heroes, saints, sages, teachers have kept this world growing and evolving. they have saved life from extinction and we must be grateful for that, for those people who have stepped up and done their good work they had to do. The exciting thing is that we can be a part of this group of extraordinary of people by how we live our lives. By how we live our lives every day, every moment. Every action we take is important. Are we contributing to the good of the world? That’s the question we need to ask ourselves. That’s how we need to live and be.

Postscript

Once again, after I wrote this blog and let it sit before publishing it, world events have occurred pertaining to my blog’s subject. The virus situation exploded and the world has turned upside down it seems. People’s opinions and feelings and anger are extreme as I write this in late March 2020. The world is experiencing something we haven’t experienced in this way before in our modern age. Many people are making this all about politics, downplaying the situation saying this is all just a conspiracy and hype by the media and liberals and democrats to affect the 2020 presidential elections. Wow. The whole world is doing this just as a political ploy it would seem by their logic. Wow. I really can’t say much more than that now, just wow. I will stick with science, facts, what I observe and know using my intelligence. This is a very unusual time. People are revealing how they think. They are revealing their ignorance, their rigid, fixed political beliefs, at the risk of life itself to prove their point. I still have hope for humanity, but it is being tested to the extreme.

Wally

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And When Your Heart Stops Beating, Its All Over, Baby! [Post # 32]

I’ve written a couple of blogs regarding death and survivor’s guilt, so I don’t want to rehash those subjects. I want to look at some other aspects of the end-of-life topic. As we age and watch our friends and loved ones leave us one by one, it makes us look at what life is, really. I’ve stated earlier that death has stared me in the face my whole life. I’ve never been able to deny it like some people have.

So, yes, when your heart stops, it all over. Period. Everything you’ve done all those years, it’s gone, over. You may have been a great person, accomplished a lot, had a terrific impact on the world, but your heart stopping ends it all, instantly. You were there one second, completely gone the next. That really is impossible to handle when you go through that experience, if you’ve ever been with someone as they “passed away.” I remember when we had to put our cat down and I held her in my arms as the vet administered the deadly injection. She’s purring affectionately one second and the next one, gone. It makes you think, “what is life” What is non-life? Here one second, gone the next. All that lifetime, all those events over all those years, all that work, all those loves and relationships, gone, over.

Now, of course, I’m talking about this physical, material, earthly perspective from the standpoint of us living when we experience someone transitioning instantaneously from this life to death. I’m not talking about the possible continuation of existence in the spirit realm. That’s another blog. In fact, I covered that topic in an earlier blog. I’m talking about what a fragile thing life is. We think it’s so solid, so certain, so impossible to suddenly be gone. But it’s not really.

I remember in college my friend assured me that he was never going to die as he was going to be “raptured,” when Christ returned, according to some popular Christian theologies He was absolutely sure he would just float up into the sky to heaven. Hmmm, I thought, that’s how he is going to deny death. Okay, that’s his choice to believe in that. Not my theology, though.

I believe that by contemplating our demise deeply, it can actually help us live a better life. I think some great lessons can be learned. So what can be learned by looking at this subject that many would say is a morbid topic to probe and contemplate? Here are my thoughts on looking at the unpleasant end of our existence.

Life and death are a package deal. If we are alive, we know there is an end to it all. We see it all the time, sometimes motivating us, sometimes scaring us, sometimes depressing us and causing serious mental problems. On the flip side of the coin, there is wisdom that death can teach us.

We can take the position of welcoming everything in our life. Not that we have to like everything. We don’t have to like it, but if we are brave we can be open to all that happens, to all that we encounter. We can be with the present situation, we can be a manifestation of love and compassion, even through those times of great suffering. Sh*t happens. It’s always going to happen from time to time. We need to travel light as much as we can because the world can be very heavy.

I don’t mean to get preachy, but we can learn the skill of letting our burdens go. We can learn the sometimes very hard lesson of forgiving. We can learn to love deeply, no matter what. Yes, life is heavy at times.

I read the analogy recently that regarding life and death, we are all on the edge of the canyon (that deep, dark canyon of death), we just don’t know how close to the edge we are at any moment, at what moment we are going to fall in.

So far, I have not seen a book titled “”Dying for Dummies,” so it looks like we all have to deal with this subject as best as we can, however that may be. I know there are very unpleasant and tragic ways of dealing with this, but I know there are better, healthier, mentally stabilizing and more peaceful ways of dealing with all of this. And, yes, it is horrible to think of this all ending and not being able to control this end of the spectrum, usually.

We all deal with this as we do The best way I can handle this at this later stage of life is to make the commitment every morning to “live like this is my last day!” One day it will be. Where exactly is the edge of the canyon?

POSTSCRIPT

Those killed in the recent helicopter crash after this post was written.

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago. I let my posts sit for a bit to be sure I feel like publishing them and seeing if they need any revisions, etc. The Kobe Bryant helicopter crash occurred after this post was written and I thought, wow, this illustrates so much of what I was writing about. Life is so fragile. We are gone in an instant. We are doing our life, just going along and wham, it’s over. Life can be very sad when we experience these situations.

Kobe with his wife and two daughters at the White House

R.I.P.

Wally

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Love the Bible! [ Post #30 ]

Hmmm you may be thinking, now he’s become a “Bible thumper.” a “holy roller,” one of them “fundamentalists,” or “evangelicals,” etc. Well, I can assure you I am none of those. Perhaps I should have titled this blog “I love the Bible, BUT….” That would be more accurate, perhaps. So let me explain. I love the Bible, I read and study the Bible a lot. Also, the scriptures from other religions, not just the Hebrew and Christian scriptures. So, maybe, in a sense this blog should be subtitled , “My weirdness, part 2,” in conjunction with my blog regarding my weirdness by being a pilot and obsessed with aviation details ( blog # 28).

A little background may help to explain what I’m talking about regarding my love of the Bible. I was forced to attend church and Sunday school as a child. Then my family ceased attending church. This was when the civil rights movement was going on in the 1960’s in this country. My family did not like churches getting involved in the issue as my family was not in favor of “civil rights.” I didn’t agree with them on this, but I did like the fact that mandatory church attendance was now a thing of the past. Freedom at last from church, I thought.

So, church-free life went on for a few years. My childhood and early teen years were not the greatest for me. I experienced a lot of emotional and psychological turmoil and pain living at home and couldn’t wait to leave home after high school graduation. It was really bad at times and one day I had a “come to Jesus” experience. I needed something to help me survive what I was experiencing and a religious conversion experience helped stabilize me emotionally. It was my salvation, in a sense.

I eventually got involved in a church that my high school friends attended and did a lot of activities with my “church gang.” It was a fun time. I found an escape from my family problems and the depression I had been living with for a long time. After high school I decided to go to a Christian college in Seattle ( there’s a story there for another blog sometime). That decision got me away from home and family and I was looking forward to a college education with a religious perspective. This had to be a good plan, I thought, and as it turns out, it was. I loved my college years. I learned a lot, made some great friends and loved traveling between Los Angeles and Seattle in my VW bug when I came home for summer vacations. It was a fantastic time. And along with this, I got a pretty good religious education, from a Christian perspective, of course, but it was broader than that. My mind was opening up to religion and philosophy and the deep issues of existence.

After college I decided to continue my religious education by going to a theological seminary and working on my Masters of Divinity degree. I did not finish my studies there but really enjoyed the time I spent there studying theology.

Professor Walter Helsel, my college professor for my class in “Revelation” at college. He opened my mind to a more scholarly perspective on a book of the bible many fundamentalists and evangelicals get carried away with in preaching about the “last days.” Here we are fishing in an Eskimo village in Alaska.

So, through it all, I got a good grounding in religious and philosophical studies. I developed a keen interest in what life is all about, about the great mystery of life. After all the study, though, you learn that no matter how much schooling you have or how many degrees you earn, you come to realize, if you are honest with yourself, it’s all a gigantic mystery. Nobody has the answers. Nobody! It’s all speculation!

So, what’s the result of all my studies and life experience? I have developed an intense interest in looking at this mystery called “life'” “existence,” and death. What the hell is all of this? Why are we here? What’s the point? So, I love studying it all and yet at the same time I know there really is no answer to find. We must just live “in the mystery!”

That’s why I love the bible, as well as other religious scriptures and writings. It’s interesting to see how people have handled this great mystery of life through thousands of years. The bible is full of wonderful stories, wonderful teachings, wonderful truths, if you see it that way. Oh, yes, and it is full of some raunchy, awfully violent tales. It also contains some bad advice ( stoning your children, stoning adulterers to death, etc.) It’s human history in the raw and human fantasy and fiction. The biblical scholars are always dissecting the writings and finding new and often fascinating information. In another lifetime I would probably desire to be a biblical scholar, or at least a professor of comparative religions. Ain’t that weird! I guess I just abhor a superficial, shallow, materialistic life.

A few of my Bibles and other religious scriptures and study aids

So, yes, I am a bit obsessed with all of this. I have, at last count, about sixteen or more bibles in different translations. Protestant bibles, a Catholic bible, a Jehovah’s Witness bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, the lost gospels, the Book of Mormon… well, you get the idea, I’m a nut for the worlds scriptures. I have bible commentaries, handbooks, dictionaries, etc.

And more….

So, I love the Bible in a way a scholar would love and study it. It is fascinating. It is inspiring, it can give insight and so much more. My caution to people would be to not take it literally. Those who take it literally have real problems. It’s a collection of writings. See it for what it is. Read up on scholars who devote their lives to this study. It does contain truth. Don’t follow a fundamentalist preacher or televangelist who knocks biblical scholarship and is going to tell you what it all means.

Most people, I would say, do not read the Bible. Some do, but they take it literally and follow what their preacher tells them it says and means. That’s too bad, I say. A lot can be learned from the writings if approached in the right, rational, reasonable way. It’s too bad the secularist, agnostic person can’t often be open minded enough to enjoy it for what it is, for what it gives the serious reader. Much is missed in a lifetime spent avoiding the study of religious scriptures. So much of our culture and society has its roots and formation in religious writings. Even during the years I was a strong atheist I still read the Bible. I just read it with an atheist viewpoint, and I don’t see that as a bad thing. Study truth, I say, whatever that involves. I read recently regarding the bible that even a good book can contain bad things. I would agree. Look at all of it, ponder it, and as I always say, think.

Three general books about the Bible for a good overview for me

In closing. I would just say that two of my favorite books of the Bible are Ecclesiastes in the Hebrew scriptures (Old Testament) and James (New Testament). You know Ecclesiastes, “all is vanity; eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die: to everything there is a season (“Turn, turn, turn,” the song by the Byrds, 1965). I love that book. And the book of James, “Faith without works is dead!” The book Martin Luther hated, did not want it in the Bible and tore it out of bibles because he hated it so much.

So there you have it, my weird love of the Bible as a theology student and a person of faith, but not fundamentalist, evangelical faith. A long twisted life path of “born again,” “atheist,” then a spiritual person of faith again.

Wally

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Need My Sabbath

The Sabbath, what a concept. A day of rest. You know, God created the heavens and the earth then rested on the seventh day (Genesis in the Hebrew Bible). For most of my life I never thought much about the concept or the commandment (the fourth of the ten commandments) to honor and observe and keep holy the sabbath day.

I remember growing up in the 1950’s as a kid and Sunday was different in society and the business world. Much of business ground to a halt on Sunday, many stores and businesses were closed. It was just the way life was. We had “blue laws” which meant a lot of business closed for the day. My spouse says he remembers when J C Penny first opened on a Sunday, he was shocked and really stunned about the change.

I had one incident in my childhood related to this sabbath concept and practice. My childhood friend and I developed a lawn mowing business in our neighborhood. One family we mowed lawns for was a Seventh Day Adventist family, so they required that we not mow their lawn on Saturday and they let us know how important honoring the correct sabbath day was to them and their religion. For the first time I started to get interested in religion and theology as I thought about what they said and preached. I did some research and realized they did have a point. They really believed honoring the sabbath was a very important factor in living a holy and good life.

One other time the sabbath commandment really hit me, right out of the blue. I was in my twenties and walking along Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood on a Saturday night (okay, yes, I was bar hopping in my “wild days”). It was a very heavily Jewish and gay area. I was approached by an orthodox Jewish man who acted very desperate to find someone to help him out. Being the kind person I am (yes, being kind and bar hopping were not a contradiction for me), I lent him my ear and he told me he was really in a conundrum. It was his sabbath and he needed to listen to his answering machine for some reason. He explained to me that he is prohibited from performing any work on the sabbath, so he asked if I would come up to his flat and play his answering machine for him. Sure, I responded. So I performed my service as a decent human being by helping someone stay true to their “sabbath.”

But, aside from that incident in my childhood and the incident on the street in West Hollywood, the serious thoughts about sabbath observance pretty much did not enter my mind much. Like I said, the blue laws were the norm back then and I didn’t think much about the sabbath or a day of rest. For most of my life I worked at my airline job on Saturdays and Sundays. The only airline employees who had weekends off had many years of seniority (decades) and days off and vacations were bid strictly on a seniority basis. Holidays and weekends were days of work in my lifestyle. Didn’t really give any thought to the sabbath commandment.

So, fast forward to today, this stage of life I’m in now, usually called “retirement.” (I’m much busier now than I ever was during my working days, but that’s another topic for another time). Now, every day’s agenda is totally up to me. I set my schedule, I create the life I want now. It took me a long time to get to this point.

So, now I am revisiting the concept of the sabbath practice and commandment. I have read some excellent books on the subject, very thought provoking. I’m not going to get into the technical aspects of what is the real sabbath as far as religions and scriptures are concerned. In my life, in my culture and society, I find I need my “day of rest,” and what works best for me is a Sunday day of rest, a real break from daily routine. No matter what the week has brought me in my life, I do need a break from daily routine and totally rest my body and soul.

Sunday is my favorite day of the week now. I really shift gears and totally take a break. I always put everything off that in any way resembles work if I can, and I usually can, unless there’s a real emergency ( remember, Jesus healed on the sabbath… got him in a lot of trouble with the religious authorities).

I usually go to church. A good church that teaches real life spiritual principles. That’s my thing. I believe even an atheist can enjoy a sabbath day, the practice will work for anybody. But for me, a little extra spiritual boost is nice, a nice addition to my daily spiritual practices.

So, that’s the way it works for me now. I have come full circle from taking a sabbath day for granted (the 1950’s and the “blue laws” in our society), to not thinking about a sabbath at all for decades and then coming to fully embrace the whole concept of a day of rest, practicing keeping the sabbath holy or the Lord’s Day as the Christians in their early history called their Sunday day of rest.

Wally

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Doing Your Thing [ Post #21]

One part of my life “doing my thing.”

I like to look at things and life in simple terms. Yes, I know it is all very complicated, but the way I look at life, it is basically very simple. My view is that we come, we do our thing, and we leave. There’s no way around that, that’s just the way it is. It’s the “do your thing” part of my view that is so difficult, so complicated, so “messy” for most of us. But, still the basic process is that we are born, we do our life, and then we die.

So, what is our thing that we do, what do we do with our life? Some people do a lot with their life, they accomplish tremendous things and leave a mark on this world and perhaps history. Some seem to not do much, some may even spend most of their lives as homeless, discarded and forgotten people. Most of us fall somewhere in between. I find it curious why some people accomplish to much and some don’t. What makes people so different? Why the motivation, the drive in some people? Why are some people so genuinely happy and some so miserable most, if not all, of their lives? Okay, that is a big subject, a dilemma that can consume a lifetime of therapy, a subject matter that fills hundreds of books. Of course in a brief essay like this blog post, I can only give you a few of my personal thoughts and experiences regarding these matters.

I can look at my life and think, “gee, I didn’t become a great, famous person; I did not become a top surgeon or find a cure for cancer or invent a wonderful product or make my mark on the world.” So, does that mean I am a nobody or disappointment to the world, etc. etc. What is life all about, anyway? Of course, I can’t answer that question.

What I can say is that my life has been about trying to find what life is really all about in the deepest sense. It has been about my finding my way through this maze, this haze, about not letting others determine what my life should be. To not be manipulated and controlled or coerced. To be my own self, to have my own dreams and goals, to live from love, not hate.

Now, I did accomplish my dreams. I may not have accomplished the dreams others may have had for me. My family, it seems to me, had a dream of me just living a mediocre life, getting a job, sticking with it for life, and then die. (Wow, how exciting!) I rejected that limited vision and did “my” thing (which I now see as “God’s” thing for me). Doing “my” thing ( God’s thing) has made my life absolutely wonderful and perfect. I feel that it takes a lot of work to really be yourself. Everyone wants to mold you, bend you this way and that way, make you conform.

So, what about the paths not taken? Well, they were not taken, so that’s sort of the end of the subject. I know, a lot of people play the miserable game of “what if,” “if only I had done…,” “If I had it to do over…,” etc. etc. But, life goes the way it goes, as I see it. If you have faith, if you have a connection to something higher than your self and your world, as I see it, you are in the flow. The flow of Spirit, your higher self, God, your Christ Consciousness, your Buddha self, or whatever you may call it. You may not have a name that is famous is this world, but you have “done your thing.” And then, when you go, you leave this place and can feel good about yourself and not feel regretful or miserable.

I believe these are the choices we all have. We come, we do our thing, we leave. How do we handle it all? I feel I have done a good job so far, and I have not been alone on this journey. It’s not all been just me. As Jesus said, “it is the father who lives in me that does the work.” I know there’s something to that statement. I must just listen, listen to my life and let it tell me who I am and what is my thing to do.

Wally

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Sin (Yes, Sin!) [ Post #17)

So, my thoughts regarding sin. If you have any experience with church or organized religion, you probably heard a lot about sin. Turn on any Christian radio station or tune in to any televangelist on TV and I can almost guarantee you you’ll hear that word within fifteen seconds or so. Most conservative religions seem to be obsessed with the word and concept. A few years ago I preached a sermon on religion and sin and types of religious people. I referenced the classic book by William James, (the “Father of American psychology ,” as he is called ) “The Varieties of Religious Experience” (the late 1800’s). He basically divided religious people into two camps. There are the unhappy, miserable sinner types of people and the happy religious and spiritual people. (Now, of course, I’m oversimplifying this for this short essay.) The unhappy, miserable sinner type of person is often racked with guilt and seeking salvation from that prison of depression.

The other type of religious/spiritual person has a more pleasurable experience of religion and is happy and joyous and feels good about life and his or her connection to that something greater (God, the universe, the higher self, etc.) I would place myself in that camp now in my life. I am enjoying a good, happy, joyous life and I am not obsessed with the idea of “sin,” personally. Now that does not mean I don’t see the evil or vile side of life. I am realistic. There are some spiritual teachers and gurus that preach that evil does not really exist or is not real. I’m not going to get into that debate here. Let’s just say that I do see the crap in the world. History has always shown how evil people can be. So, what I can say is that yes, I see the bad in the world, but I do not let that suck me into the whirlpool of depression and the experience of a miserable view of life.

Now, having said all of that, I guess the paradox is that I do have experience with sin, personally. I do not go out and murder or steal or hurt people, but I do have to admit I have what I consider “my” sins. I am not racked with guilt as the miserable sinner type of person is, but I do have to watch for my personal sins creeping into my life.

Let me tell you what I consider to be sin in my life. First off, the root of the word sin means to “miss the mark,” referring to spear throwing. I like that definition better than the usual church definition of an immoral act of transgression against divine law. So, for me, what do I consider “missing the mark” in my life? Well, for me, the biggest sin for me is to stagnate. To just be stuck in my life, to stay stuck, to choose to be stuck and not growing and moving forward in my daily life, on many levels. For me, to be alive is to constantly progress, to learn something new every day, to have new insights, new experiences, deeper relationships, to have every day be a new, creative experience.

For me, the other sins that concern me are: to be mean, to hurt others or myself, to hate, to have resentments, to be envious or jealous, to desire bad things for those people that I don’t particularly like. To have unforgiveness in my heart ( I can forgive even despicable people I do not like, that’s for my own good only, really).

Those are sins for me in my life. I have to watch closely in my daily activities and thoughts that these particular sins to not sneak into my life or consciousness. Many people do not watch that these sins stay out of their lives, they usually don’t even pay attention or care, really. They just live and react without working at this.

So, for me, sin is not necessarily a bad word. It is necessary to be aware of sinful or thoughtless or damaging thoughts and activities. I do not live in guilt or negative environments in my life. I do not want any of these mentioned transgressions from the good life to be in my personal world.

Wally