I Hate It! [ I Don’t Like It ] [ Post # 72 ]

Hate is a word I do not use much. I do not use it in referring to people. Oh, there are people I strongly dislike, people that I may see as full of evil and psychological sickness. But I refuse to use the word “hate.” Just my thing. My way of seeing things. But I will use that word to describe the state of things right now, the state of the world right now. I hate the way things are, I do not like it; I am pissed. I am living in a world I never imagined experiencing before.

In the past few years the hate has come out of the closet, so to speak, in our society, our politics, our daily living. It was not like this before. Yes, we have always had different views of life and politics, religion, etc. We’ve had Republican and Democratic presidents, conservatives and liberals and moderates and centrists in our political scene. We’ve had tough times and better times. But we have never had it like it is now. People are so worked up, so angry, so extreme. Thirty percent of our American society seem to want a dictatorship, regardless of what the popular vote may be. About the same percent, it seems, actually want a civil war in our streets. They are all excited about such a prospect. I hear it every day. What’s going on?

And, on top of all this, there’s this damn virus. I’m beginning to believe that it is not going to go away in my lifetime. We can’t even agree or work together in eliminating this thing from our world. All we do is fight each other and throw out these conspiracy theories, etc. And as for going about travel like we used to… it’s not happening anytime soon. No freedom to travel freely as in the past and fights breaking out onboard airliners among these factions of people. Yes, I hate this new world.

I’ve even heard the “super spiritual” people say oh, this is all good. This is God’s plan. God has created a perfect world, this is the best of all possible worlds. Huh… a bit wacky of a perspective I say. Ain’t buying that crock. We are doing this. Doing this to ourselves.

So, yes, I’m mad, I hate this, I am pissed. I do not like what I see humanity doing with all of this. As I explained in a previous blog, I have to seek out and find good news out there so that I don’t lose my mind watching all of this on the news every day.

I have a friend that had a t-shirt made that had the statement on it of “Blessing Happens.” He wore it to counter the popular t-shirts that had the statement “Sh*t Happens,” which I have seen almost everywhere. Wow, you’d think people would like that positive statement he had printed on his shirt, but, well, you guessed it. He got a lot of very negative feedback when out in public and eventually got rid of the shirt. Well, that’s a sad commentary on things, isn’t it?

Hmmmm….

So, I hate this. Yes, the world is very different than a few years ago. So much has changed. I’ve seen the nastiness in friends and family. I have been called vile names like never before. And as for the evangelical Christians… oh, don’t get me started!

Well, I’m just trying to survive this trying time. I have a stronger faith than I have ever had before (thank God). I am seeking and researching the good news that is out there in this world. I am limiting and watching my consumption of the daily news, knowing how it affects us. Just never thought it would be like this. How about you? Hang in there.

Wally

Living the Good Life? Hmmm… What is the Good Life? [ Post # 71 ]

Like I have all the answers. Like I have any answers at all, really. Like you’re thinking, “who the hell does he think he is?” There are teachers, mentors, gurus, preachers out there who will tell you the answers to any questions about life you may have. Oh, yeah. Get into a movement, a religion, a cult. That will give you answers, direction, guidance, rigid belief systems. Problem solved of figuring out life.

Well, putting my sarcasm aside, I do have some thoughts on this matter of “what is the good life, is it possible, how does one achieve a good life? (Since my blog theme is “On the Path,” “It’s a Wonderful life,” I better have something to back up my theme. So, here’s my thoughts and take on this subject.

Number one, I allow everyone to have, choose their own religion. You love Jesus, great. He’s your savior, great. You follow the Buddha, fine with me. You are a pagan, an atheist, an agnostic, a follower of the wicca religion, okay. That’s your choice. What I’m talking about is how does one live a good life, regardless of one’s religion or belief system. People can be very religious, devout, etc. and be very unhappy, miserable, and depressed for periods of time, or for their whole life.

How do we be happy people? How do we really enjoy life? How do we keep our sanity, keep our heads above water when the wickedness and confusion of the world out there tries to get to us, and often does get to us? A question I think about a lot as I know what it is to slip into negativity and despair when overwhelmed by life in this world.

The quick answers, responses to my question could be the following: Balance; Boundaries; Right Thinking, Good Energy in your environment; Choose any faith or religious path very carefully. I guess I had better expand on my answers a bit, as just throwing out answers does not help very much, I’m sure.

I recently thought about all these matters and realized I should do some work on this problem of living in an insane world and staying on top of things. Succumbing to the insanity is a disaster, as I’ve discovered several times in my long life here on this earth.

I have done a lot of spiritual work and exploration. I have been in different groups in the spiritual realm, church and otherwise. I have had transformational experiences and had great “breakthroughs.” But, still, the world comes at us. The news is not as objective as it used to be in the days of Walter Cronkite and the others, if you know what I mean. Paying too much attention to the “news” drives me crazy; don’t know about you.

In my recent search, I sought out some books and reading on finding some good news in this world. I did find some interesting reading. I realized that yes, we can look for and find “good” news in our midst. But we have to go find it. Believe me, it takes work! A lot of work and intention.

Two books I’ve recently read to help me find “good news” in this insane world.

So, I have begun my work, my search for finding the good news in life, which I know must be out there but we are sheltered from by “the evening news.” When I decide to do something, I dig in and see where my research goes. Unfortunately, a lot of my work, my research, is done on my own. Not many people I know are on a search for good news, they just absorb what they age given by society and and media.

So, my discovery is that, yes, there is good news out there, but, like I said, it takes work to find it. I wish more people were attuned to the other side of the news. It would give more balance and perspective to our lives.

More good books on finding the “good news” in our world.

So, my “holier than thou” message today is, “don’t buy the bs that all is bad in the world. Look elsewhere than the daily news broadcasts. Yes, I am aware of the sh*t in the world. But I can’t be overwhelmed and destroyed emotionally by the horrors in life. Yes, you can get involved in a cause you strongly believe in, but I say, “watch out.” It can destroy you if you are not careful, aware, and keep a balance in your life with the good that is out there also.

My growing library of “how to find the good news” in life.

Be good to yourself! Find the good. Keep a balance in your life. Have boundaries of what you you will let get you down and depressed. Watch the energy you surround yourself with. Be careful, but be real. A lot of history has always been a history of bad stuff, bad people. Thank God for Jesus, the Buddha and others who have given some guidance in this arena. They saw the good and the bad in life. They gave some good advice and techniques and ways of being and thinking. Study them, their “preaching and teaching.” Then go out there in the world and be happy, enjoy the life you were miraculously given.

Wally

Surprise! That’s Life! [ Post # 68 ]

Okay, I’m older. I’ve lived a while on this earth. I’ve lived in this, at times, well, always, come to think of it, crazy world. Yes, crazy, insane world, but also a great world, a paradise at times and in some ways. Contradictory viewpoints and analysis, you say? Well, yes.

And that’s the point of this post. Yes, there are optimists (extreme optimists), and there are pessimists (some extreme, also). Guess you could place me in the middle somewhere. Well, actually I’m an optimist, but a conditional optimist. I don’t deny the bad of this world. Looking to my teachers, mentors of life, Jesus and the Buddha and others, I see that they basically took the middle ground, also. Saw the bad, saw the good and the potential good in life and the world.

My major in college was history, so I studied history and I can say, there always were bad times and bad things going on in the world. Some horrible things, in all ages. You think today is bad? Study history; ain’t nothing new. Just in your face now, daily, with instant news broadcasts and social media and people all wound-up in cults and conspiracy theories and rigid belief systems. Anger, hate, hostility, insanity, etc.

Just yesterday I was in line for my booster vaccination and someone just walked right up in front of me and went to the check-in window and said he had a later appointment but wanted an earlier one due to he had to get to a funeral. Yeah, right. I looked at the people behind me in line and we all had similar expressions, like “what the hell?” The man didn’t even look at us, well, a quick glance , so he knew what he was doing. I thought, in the old days, I’d confront him, but I’ve seen too many nasty encounters these days in stores, so I decided to just let it go and see what happens. He ended getting his shot ahead of mine, then he lingered around the store. Didn’t look like he has is a rush to get to a funeral. An interesting observation. I could just tell he was probably one of those pushy, nasty people that we see a lot of these days. Like I said, an interesting observation of current human behavior in public.

So, on to my point of this blog. In my older years, I’ve come to some conclusions about life after decades of living and observing life. I’ve come to the conclusion that all of life is a “surprise.” ALL of life is a surprise! We don’t really know, from moment to moment, what is about to happen in our life. Oh, we think we do. We think every day will be the same. Same ole, same ole they say. And for much of the time that may be so. That’s how we get through our days. Habits and routines are counted on to provide meaning and purpose in life. Got it, that’s how we think of life. But really? I don’t think so.

You know, in the Bible is says that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. Oh, yeah, and it also says good things happen to bad people and bad things happen go good people. The books of Proverbs and Job cover a lot of this territory as my deep study of theology and the scriptures reveals to me. Interesting. So good and bad happens to all of us.

Every moment is SURPRISE! This incident, in my face right now, is now what’s happening. You get a phone call that a friend or family member has suddenly died. Your routine casual car trip suddenly becomes an accident and you are badly injured or worse. Or, you win the lottery and are financially set for life. Or, whatever. We never know (for sure) what the next moment will bring. Life is surprise, moment by moment, day by day. No way around this fact. Oh, you say, “I’ve got religion, I’ve got faith, I’ve got hope!” And I would agree. I would absolutely agree and say the same exact words. I have great faith. It sustains me, absolutely. But what I’m saying is that even with all the faith and hope and and positivity, life is a moment-to- moment experience of “surprise.”

So, from the moment we are born, life REALLY is surprise. Surprise moment after surprise moment. Some infants live only moments, others go on to live over a hundred years. And for those that survive the birth process and childhood, every day, every moment is “surprise,” a new moment in the unknown realm of “what’s next?” And the human response to all of the surprises we experience, especially the bad or unhappy surprises is, usually, if we are honest, “why?, how? Where are you, God?, can there even be a God?”

And that’s the way it is. That’s my observation, my take on it all. We never know exactly what’s coming. Gosh, wish we did. We live like we did. We can’t prepare for everything that could occur. Impossible. What we can prepare for is that every moment of our lives is part of an unfolding of our destiny. A destiny we often do not understand (“why, God?”).

I find it helps to have faith. To have connection, both to people (our community) and to the unseen side of life. To the life force, the Presence, the Divine, God, Higher self. We can’t control it all (life). We play our part. We do our best (hopefully). To those of a religious bent, we do God’s will. Whichever category we fit into, we live our lives, but every moment is a “surprise!” We have to live with that fact, that knowledge.

Wally

Surrender [ Post # 65 ]

Ahh, yes, another of those words that we often take as a bad, negative word in this world. To surrender is to be a loser, to give up, to admit defeat. Whether in a war, in a relationship or whatever, we usually mean something bad, losing, giving up as there’s no other choice, etc. But, in my later years I’m looking at that term in a different light. After living a long time, going through a lot of turmoil, chaos, confusion, uncertainty, etc., I have a revised view of what surrender can mean. I mean, after all, we are all going to have to eventually surrender our lives to the “whatever” that awaits us at the end of life. Well, perhaps some of us surrender at that point but others fight, often put up a valiant fight to the very end. Guess that’s our choice to make at that juncture.

So, surrender… looking back on my life, I wish I had had a better understanding of that word. In my early life I was a fighter. I rejected any thought of “surrendering.” I fought, even if the fighting was an internal struggle and conflict. I fought people trying to put me down, suppress me, control me, direct my life how they thought it should go (family and parents mostly and some teachers). And that was good, of course, as I went on to be myself as best I could under the circumstances at the time. I did not crumble, give in to the negative forces active in my early years. I fought for what I believed in, what I wanted to do and the direction I wanted to take in my life. A lot of fighting. Fortunately I was young and energetic. I succeeded in creating the life I wanted.

Probably my mantra in my early life even if I did not articulate it this way. Thinking this way probably saved me during that rough time in my life.

Looking back at that time now, I just wish I had had some sense of the good aspects of surrendering. By that I mean, yes, it was good that I fought for my best interests, but I could have felt so much better if I had surrendered to the fact that life was going to work out if I just trusted in life, that there is good in life and that good is mine to claim and live. I guess you could say a trust in God (or whatever good force there is in life). A “knowing” that all was going to be well, even while putting up the “good fight” against the negative forces.

Now in my later years I don’t have the energy and interest or time to waste in fighting everything in life. Fortunately my early years of fighting so many things and influences did pay off and I created the good life that was meant for me. I am grateful for that now. I ” fought the good fight,” to use a biblical quote. I now have a much greater appreciation for the concept of “surrendering.” I am living now a more surrendered life. Having engaged in a deep study of religion and philosophy recently, I realize that the philosophy that best fits who I am seems to be stoicism. Yes, that seems to fit best. I see that life must be faced, as it really is. Life is as it is. We may not always like that, but so it is. And the best, highest life is the ethical life. Doing right, living right. Making the best life with what we have. Living opposite to these ways, as I see it, creates a miserable life. A lot of people do live the miserable life, but it’s not for me. I’ve been there during brief times in my growing up and it was not good.

So, I am not advocating fatalism, a giving in to fate or destiny and resignation to what looks to be inevitable. Being powerless, believing defeatism, no, not at all. So let me say what I mean by having a healthy sense of surrender in life as I see it.

We can make good use of the practice of surrender in life. I’m doing a lot more of it than I ever did before now. Let me list some of the ways I see surrender now and have experienced surrender at this point in life.

My mantra now. My life today. The only way for me to live now at this stage in my life.

For me personally, I have had to surrender to the fact that some people may not, do not like me. I may not understand why, but that doesn’t really matter. And, I may have medical situations I wish I did not have, but I have them currently. I, at times, must suffer loss. Friends and family die. People leave my life, sometimes I understand, sometimes I don’t. Politics today is a “hot-button” issue. I’m very upset by what I see, how people I know are acting and believing. I can’t do much about that, they are the way they are. In my marriage, I don’t have the energy to fight. I surrender to the relationship, which, fortunately is a very good one (perfect in my humble opinion). So, let me give my thoughts on surrendering as I’ve come to understand the term and concept.

Fighting everything in life is draining and unpleasant and is a miserable way to live. You can’t control everything. For control freaks, that’s not good news. It works better to pause, step back, take your hands off the wheel at times to renew yourself. Recognize that obstacles can be detours leading you in a new, better direction. Surrender to that when that happens. If you are a spiritual person, pray and meditate and spend time in the silence with your higher self. Trust that things will work out, surrender to that truth. All will work out; trust it will all be okay. In other words, have faith.

Yes, surrender… a new way of living. Doesn’t mean accepting evil in any way, but surrendering to a “higher power.” God or Spirit is that higher power for many.

So, yes, my life has improved since I’ve surrendered to the idea of surrendering. Maybe it wasn’t so necessary in my earlier life, but it sure is now. Perhaps this is the great lesson for this period of life. Like I said, there is a big experience of the final surrendering coming up, like it or not.

So, I believe surrender can help us open up more to life, to embrace life fully, to be with the Divine Goodness (God) if one believes in that.

Wally

A Christian? Hmmm…. [ Post # 64 ]

That’s one term that I’m not fond of. A term I say has been corrupted for a long, long time. Since the invention of the term, actually, around two thousand years ago. The term was coined to describe the followers of Jesus around the first century C.E. A new religion was being formed and the troubles began from the get-go. It was not a cohesive, unified religion. It was, to say the least, a bit fractured from the beginning. There were many factions, many struggles and fights over the beliefs these new “Christians” were developing and inventing in those first decades and centuries. And you know what? Those wars and struggles never really stopped. It’s still going on today. There were fights and conferences centuries ago to develop the Christian religion and Christian canon, the eventual New Testament. Long story short, the history of this new religion, an offshoot from Judaism, has been a mess.

Early Christianity had many theological battles, many wars and killings. Now we have creeds, etc. but really, has it changed that much?

Just study the horrendous things that occurred through the centuries. Those great “Christians” that killed viciously the “heretics” and other dissenters from the “true” religion. Yes, even the Protestants did these evil deeds.

Fast forwarding to modern times, we can see that today the word Christian can be referring to some crazy groups and people. Not that there are not many good, sincere believers in the good aspects of the Christian religion, there certainly are. I have been involved in churches all of my life in one way or another. I even prepared for the Christian ministry earlier in my life. I’m just saying I don’t like using the term in identifying myself. As a theologian I know says, he describes his religion or beliefs as “culturally Christian, spiritually unlimited.” That’s as good way to put it. I’d agree with that. I would identify myself as a “disciple of Christ,” a “follower of Jesus.” That seems more accurate to me than the general term “Christian.” I don’t subscribe to creeds, the narrow beliefs, the established dogma, etc. the different churches often demand.

The position of many today. I get it! Ironically, I still “do church,” but I’m very careful and selective about what groups I associate with.

My “religion” is an open one. That’s it. I’ve been all over the spiritual/religious map at different phases in my life. When I was in seminary preparing for the ministry, I remember a professor telling the class, “don’t ever preach or teach your church people what you learn here in seminary (when you are a minister), you will destroy their faith!” Wow, that says it all.

So, there is a lot of darkness and unpleasant stuff in church history over the centuries. No question about that. But, here’s what I say to you, believe what you want. I’m not going to tell you what to believe, what church or religious group to attend or join. Or even whether or not to attend any church or religious organization. You figure that out for yourself. You figure out your belief system. Think for yourself. Don’t just follow some popular or charismatic preacher or guru. Study, think, reason. Be true to yourself. For me, the term Christian just has too many bad connotations. I can use the term to describe myself, but if I do I certainly mean certain things by that definition that many others do not understand in this world and society. There is more than one way to see the Christian religion or religion in general. I’ve given my definition of my religion in previous blogs. It’s basically, love, and trust God. Works for me. Keeps it simple. And, at the same time, I am deeply studying religion and theology and related subjects. Guess that’s the historian in me, I majored in history in college.

So, my parting words… think, reason, be open-minded. Chill…if you “connect” with the invisible, the “more,” the something, your higher self, Jesus, whatever you call it… enjoy the journey. It can be a good one if you do some work and love a lot.

This statement is no problem for me….

Wally

Special Friendships [ Post # 62 ]

I recently lost a very special friend. A very unique friend. A very, very rare friend. Never connected before with someone in the way I connected with this friend. And, it was someone I did not frequently see or get together with. And, it was not a life-long friendship but rather a friendship of the last several years. And yet it was one of the closest friendships I have had. Deep and authentic and well, hard to express in words. That’s why the loss is deeply felt. She would be surprised to find herself the subject of one of my blogs. She was a strong supporter of my blogging from day one. She really loved my blogs and always let me know. The fact that she did not respond to my last blog concerned me, I knew something bad had happened, that’s how closely connected we were.

One of many birthday lunches

Every year since we met she would take me out for a birthday lunch. It was a given that we would always go out for my birthday and have a great time visiting since we often didn’t see each other that much. Of course, last year was the exception with the pandemic going on. Otherwise our meetings would be at church functions and church fund raisers at my home which she always attended. So, why was this friendship so different than all the other friendships I’ve had in my lifetime? I had to stop and think about that question. It’s hard to articulate, but I’ll try.

We always connected on a very deep, authentic level. This was a “no BS” type of friendship. No silly, time-wasting chit-chat or gossiping type of conversations. Always very open conversations about our lives, past and present. And very deep conversations about our personal lives and feelings. A couple of times I was surprised at the “wild times” that were confessed. It’s always refreshing to find out that the good people in our lives do have their indiscretions, hey, that’s life. But life is so much more than those times we were a bit wild in the distant past.

Another birthday gathering

So, really, I don’t know what else to say. I don’t experience relationships like this usually. And I have some very good friendships. This one just came along and I enjoyed it while it lasted. I may feel it passed too quickly, but I did thoroughly take advantage of the opportunity and enjoyed it. It affected my life. I am thankful I was there for this and did not just brush this off as a “friendship.”

We did meet at church. We were in a class when we met and agreed to become prayer partners for the class. So there was a spiritual element in our relationship. That probably helped start things off and it just took off from there.

At one of her church fundraisers

So, my point is, there are friendships and there are friendships. There are some “once-in-a-lifetime” friendships that are unique and can change us, for the better. I say, when they occur, go for it and enjoy the time, however long or brief.

At one of many church fundraisers

Wally

Wow, Sixty Blog Posts… A Reflection [ Post #60 ]

So, nearly three years and sixty blog essays. An experiment of exploring my life, my thoughts, my feelings and judgements. At times a scary experience revealing life experiences and secrets and reliving memories of long ago. If anything, it has been a form of self-therapy. Just writing out my experiences and reflections and seeing how my life has evolved has been an enlightening time for me. It has actually solidified and clarified some practices I engage in.

Says it all for me… I can blame my father… learned to cuss from him, but I admit I took it to a new level… my bad!

For example, when I wrote about the Sabbath, my commitment to a disciplined Sabbath became became a deeper experience for me. I liked the concept of a day of rest and I practiced that concept in a haphazard way, but after writing my blog I decided it was time to get serious about the practice and really delay any normal work for the next day; to not do work on my day of rest (my “Christian Sabbath,” Sunday)

I have written about how I achieved dreams I had in childhood and how I never let people squash any aspirations I had (and they certainly tried to). I created my “perfect life,” I really did. It amazes me, now that I reminisce about all of this. I became a pilot. I traveled the world. I found love. I did work I enjoyed. I never really hated. If I did, it was a temporary experience. I do not have any real regrets. How many can say that? I’ve lived a good life. I got to live long enough to see all of this. I did not leave this life during one of my “dark” times, thank God.

I have enjoyed good reviews from friends. Not that that was what I was writing for, but it was nice that they could see my viewpoints and enjoyed my writing. I’ve never been much good at writing fiction ( I’ve tried ),but non-fiction has worked out for me.

So. this experiment of blogging has been satisfying for me and I guess I will keep at it. I see no shortage of material to draw from. My self-therapy has enhanced my life, so, what the hell. Let’s continue onward….

Wally

Wrong Turns? I Don’t Think So! [Post # 58]

So, being in the last decade(s) of life, I do a bit of reflecting over a life of many decades, many adventures, many challenges, battles, dark times, joyous times, loves and disappointments. Recently the thought came to me… have I made any wrong turns on this journey? Surely, I’m thinking, everybody has made “wrong turns.” Made some big mistakes, journeyed down the wrong paths, etc. Got to be a universal experience. Got me thinking deeply. Thinking, thinking, thinking.

I’m here to tell you, I finally decided that, no, I do not at all feel that I have made any wrong turns in my life! Wow, that almost feels weird to say, like that can’t be true. Everybody regrets making the “wrong turns” in life, I’m thinking. But it is not true for me, I feel in the depths of my soul. As you have read in previous blogs, I certainly have had difficult times in my life, dark periods, real internal, emotional struggles. But you know what? I stayed on the path I now feel was laid out before me. Since I have a thing called faith, I would say a path God laid out for me, or the universe or whatever if that is easier for you to swallow.

I would not have wanted my life to go in a different direction. No, really. It may have been a long road, but I am now in a good place and I have had good experiences and realized my dreams and loves. What can beat that? In my book, nothing! Oh, yeah, I could daydream of having accomplished some great tasks and changing the world and becoming famous. That may be a great daydream, but that was not to be my life. That’s just not my path in this life. A great path for others I would agree. If that’s your path, your journey, great. I’m all for good people doing good things and making a difference in the world. Totally behind you.

Do you get envious of other people that seem to have a life of miraculous accomplishments and success? Thank goodness I do not waste any energy on that one. I am all for good people that make a real difference in this crazy world. But, you know what? I had to live my life, do my things. Find my own path, do those things I dreamed of, be happy with my life. And, I have no regrets! I did not make wrong turns. I certainly messed up at times, made mistakes, had bad thoughts, etc., but that’s a lot different than traveling down the wrong road. No major mistakes were made (thank goodness!).

I have friends that have accomplished great things. Artists, teachers, lawyers, politicians, doctors. I love that they did their “thing.” I am sorry for those who feel that they did take the wrong turns, lost or never found their purpose in this life. That is sad. I would say that that did not have to be. But what do I know, really. Maybe that was their “path” to travel in this lifetime. And those I know who have committed suicide by intention or by neglect. How sad, how painful. Thinking of all of this does reinforce my stand that my life has involved making no wrong turns. Something guided me. Something encouraged me. Something inspired me. Even when I did not feel it at all, something was there, in my soul, in my inner being. I never shut that something, that voice, out. That’s why my blog’s theme is “On the Path,” “It’s a Wonderful Life!”

So, I wonder, were there times I could have made the “wrong turns?” Well, thinking along those lines, I could have pursued my finishing theological seminary and become a minister/pastor in a church. Had a nice normal family with children and all. No, that would not have been good. Not in my life. Or what if I had been successful in becoming an airline pilot ( I came very close but something told me this was not the right thing for me.) So, my stand is that I have not made wrong turns.

Yep, me on the right. At elementary school. Early in life. Before I made any real decisions regarding my life, whether right turns or wrong turns. A time of innocence. All of life lay ahead of me. Turns out it was a good life that was awaiting me.

So, that’s my philosophy, I guess. I made no wrong turns. I can’t speak for anyone else. Are there really wrong turns in life or is there just the way our life goes because of our intensions and choices. Something to ponder. I do have compassion for those who have a messed up life. Yes, there’s a lot of sh*t in this world. I believe we are co-creators in life. Co-creators with whatever you call it. Fate, the Universe, God. I am very grateful for my life and all the right turns I made.

Wally

What’s Love Got To Do With It? (Love and Surrender) [Post # 57]

Love. There’s a word that’s used a lot. Thrown around a lot. Casually and very seriously. “I love this!, I Love that! Love’s what makes the world go round,” etc., etc., etc. Yeah, we use the word love a lot, don’t we? Everyone desires love in their life. They say it gives life meaning. Even with the psychologically unbalanced, with the hardened criminals, all the misfits in life, the psychological experts would agree. The lack of love in their lives is part of their problem. It seems that love is required to have a real, meaningful and satisfying life.

Having gone through a lot in life, I would have to agree that one thing that is required to fully live, is love. In fact, at this stage of life, I would go so far as to say it is really everything. That may sound extreme, may sound very “new age.” But after living a long life, I would stick with my statement that love is everything. After studying a lot about religions, about philosophy, about life, psychology and evil or the dark side of life, it seems the only thing that really matters is, “have we loved? Really loved? Has our life been about love?

I am of the belief that love is Divine. True love is beyond us. It is from another realm. It is not part of the ego. It is, well, like, “magical.” The apostle Paul wrote the famous chapter on love in the New Testament which I think sums it up very well. Says it all, I think.

At this point in life, I am totally committed to living a life of love. I’ve lived other types of life. I’ve lived a life of turmoil. I’ve lived a life of confusion, bitterness, hate, resentment, revenge. Like most people, I’ve “acted out” at times in life. I’ve reacted to manipulations and abuse in so many ways. I feel “I’ve done it all.” From here on out, just give me love or forget it. No more crap. If you are not going to relate to me in a loving way, well, be on your way. Have a good life. Just stay out of mine. I do not accept the unloving stuff in my environment any more. Period. This past four-year period of the political situation this country has been in has had its affect on me. I’ve seen so much unloving action and expression that it has changed me. I cannot respect people I have previously had respect for. Some were close people. Does not matter. When I see the hate, the false accusations and slander, I’m done. Now the biblical passage of Jesus telling his disciples to “shake the dust off of your feet and leave the unaccepting people and move on” makes sense, takes on a whole new meaning for me.

So, I will only live in love from here on out. Decision made. But what does that entail? That question brings me to the second part of my essay. I strongly believe that to love with true, real love, one must go through a process of surrender. Yes, I know that word has bad connotations in this world and society. Surrender. Usually means, to people, to give up, give in, lose, be a loser, etc., etc. And some of that is true. But I think we need to re-define the word.

If you are truly going to love, I say some surrender is necessary. One must surrender some (I’m saying some, not all) of the ego. Some of our strongly held beliefs, feelings and opinions. If you love, you are going to be changed to some degree. An internal change and to some degree, an external change. Required, I say.

When I decided to live a life of love, I had to give up some things. When I got married, I had to surrender to the new arrangement, the new type of relationship. I even had a pastor tell me, oh, that’s dangerous. Hmmm, I thought. Wonder how his life is if he really thinks that way. I hope he was kidding, but it didn’t sound like it.

So, living a life of love and surrender. In a way that does sound like it is a way of life fraught with danger. Being a doormat, being controlled and manipulated and all that. Well, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about being strong, assertive, solid, forceful in living in love and surrender. Not weak, cowering and subject to the jerks of this world. It’s a matter of saying, “no, I will not accept that!,” Do not talk to me like that or treat me like that. We’re done here.

Yeah, these last few years have really had an impact on my life. Forced me to face what I will accept in my life now. What energies I will accept in my immediate environment. No more sh*t now. I’ve seen and experienced too much now.

Wally

Life Long Learning [ Post # 56 ]

Currently I am involved in a personal project, an in-depth study of philosophy. I just happened to stumble onto this project recently, and I am absolutely enthralled with the study I’m doing. Let me backtrack briefly and tell you how I got here into this unexpected place. I have a collection of some good, intelligent educational cassette tapes left over from years ago when I had my own business of selling and distributing educational and motivational tapes. I gave up the business when cassettes became outdated and CDs became the new technology. The old tapes got stored away and as I was recently decluttering my office area I came across these tapes and realized a lot of them I never actually listened to. The time came to decide, “throw then out, or listen to them and see if they are of any interest to me at this stage of my life.”

Some of the tapes I’ve converted to CDs and am currently studying. Each CD case contains four CDs..

I made the decision to listen to them, at least those that possibly interested me. I converted the tapes to CDs and began listening. For some reason I never put much effort into studying philosophy in school. I learned enough to get through college, but the bare minimum. I studied religion a lot but neglected philosophy (even though they are very interconnected and complementary in one getting a “complete” education, as I see it.

But, this blog post is not going to be about philosophy. Perhaps in a future post I will cover that subject. This post is about a life long habit I have just been thinking about recently, the habit or practice of being a “life-long learner.” At this stage of my life, I realize that habit or practice has been a great motivator and has kept me going, intellectually, and been my salvation, in a sense.

As child, somehow I got into a children’s book club that was a series of “All About” books. All about astronomy, mathematics, geography, etc. I would get a new book every month or so and I would devour it. Loved it. I loved learning new things. In a previous blog I mentioned how I was being steered to not go on to further education after high school. In fact, my thinking when I was young was, “I can’t wait to just be done with high school so I can just go get a job and live my life.” But when my high school counselor refused to let me take English literature class in high school and told me I was not “college material,” that set my mind in a new direction. I did not accept that label and eventually did get into a college and graduate school after that. I did not settle for what people thought of me, how they judged me or tried to limit me.

So, I spent my years getting my “higher education.” I loved that time. I loved college and then theological seminary (see my earlier blogs). I had my mind opened. I saw a big world out there. I traveled the world with my airline job. I developed a side business selling educational tapes for a few companies like Simon and Schuster, etc. I did listen and study the various subjects those tapes covered. (I even sold Trump tapes on how to become rich, etc., but never liked him much way back then).

When I decided it was time to realize my dream of being a pilot (a dream since about age six), I thought, well, nobody is going to help me, motivate me, guide me, so I just better get started and do some studying and pass my written exam for my private pilot license. I did just that. Found some good books, found a study guide, and on my own sat down and did some intense study. All self motivated. I went and passed my written test and then found a flight school to begin my flight training. After that, I got my commercial pilot’s license, my flight instructor’s certificate, my instrument flight instructor’s certificate and my advanced ground instructor’s certificate and did some flight instructing and commercial flying.

So, there are many instances like this where I just persisted in pushing myself in pursuit of more knowledge, or pursuing my quest of “lifelong learning.” I got my amateur radio (ham) radio license a long time ago, I used to log all my reading of books. It was an amazing list every year. In college I took a course in piano playing (I had taken lessons as a kid). I would force myself to take guest speaking gigs when offered, preaching sermons when the opportunity arose. So, even though I, like most people, experienced and fought procrastination from time to time, I always eventually pushed myself forward and learned new stuff. I’ve heard it said that our “in box” will never be empty, even at our death. I certainly believe that is true. I will never complete all the tasks I have set for myself.

So, what are the alternatives to being a lifelong learner? Well, I suppose one can just be a “drifter,” One can just drift along in life. Eat, drink and be merry, as they say. Yes, that can be a good life. Others can be more melancholy throughout their life. Living a more sad type of life. I see that as sad, but a way of life that many seem to choose or as they would see it, they are stuck with. At the opposite extreme of being a lifelong learner as I see it would be the lost individual. The person with no enjoyment in living, perhaps a gang member or a committed criminal who just has no purpose, meaning or any real motivation in life. Now, I’m not talking about a person going through a period of depression, perhaps a long and deep depression. I’m referring to a way of life. A lifelong choice.

So, lifelong learning. I see it as my salvation. I had dark periods in my early life but I propelled myself out of those prisons. Reading my previous blogs will show you that. It has been a struggle at times to make my life meaningful, give it purpose. I am now glad for those experiences. I learned my lessons and they have served me well.

A book from my library. It got me in touch with this whole subject of lifelong learning.


So, now I’m deeply involved in studying philosophers and philosophy. An area I have previously avoided in my life. It is amazing how it is opening up my eyes and thoughts to new ways of seeing things. Not that there is one philosophy, or one religion, one philosopher or guru or one way to believe (my blog, “Only One Way” goes into that way of thinking). I am on a new path in my learning adventure. I will probably purchase more university courses (CDs and DVDs) from a company I deal with. The learning will never end while I still have a breath within me. Then it’s on to learning new things, “somewhere else.”

Wally