Category: Religion / Spirituality

Posted on

It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over [Post # 113]

Well, following up on my recent blog on retirement and the joy I’m experiencing being retired, I’m having many thoughts about this stage of life. I mentioned that some people do not necessarily enjoy being retired (the “go getters,” those that have lots of energy, ambition, can’t sit still for a minute people) and others (like myself) just love retirement. Two different perspectives on this period of our lives.

Well, even those enjoying retirement have to have something to keep them going. Keep them alive, vibrant, interesting and interested, active to some degree. To just stop, give up on activities and interactions and some kind of social life is not good or healthy, I think. So, what keeps us going? What inspires us, what sustains us?

My life has been great. A success, I’d say. Ready to die, move on to something else if there’s something else? No, I don’t think so. I’m feeling there’s more right here, in this life, to do. I feel a strong feeling that there’s more to do. Is God or the life force leading me on to more? Perhaps something new and different? Well, let’s find out, I say. What’s next in this game of life?

One new direction I’ve taken these past few years is my writing. My inspiration to start blogging, sharing my thoughts and feelings and life story has been a new experience. A little scary at first, I did just plunge ahead and did it. It’s been satisfying and educational for me. It’s a learning experience for me if nothing else. And it has let people how unique, ok, weird, I really am.

So, it’s not over. What’s next? Well, I figure I will continue with writing. We’ll see where that goes. I’d like to write a book or two, but I don’t think I have the patience to endure that large of a project. Are there things I’ve put off in my earlier years that I feel like pursuing now? Nothing comes to mind. I’ve done a lot of traveling. Seen a lot of the world. Very satisfied in that arena.

I am pursuing my educational interests, my continuing education; lifelong learning in fields of interest and some new areas. We’ll see where that goes. I’m interested in the deeper things of life rather than the more superficial things most of our society is obsessed with. So many people just full of prejudices and rigid opinions and susceptible to cults, charismatic leaders, etc. Sick of it all. But I am interested in researching and exposing the crap of these people, organizations, etc. I guess I am a “truth seeker” at heart. Always have been. Just want to live a true life. Be truth is my motto.

As to what “sustains me,” well, that’s an interesting question. Like I said, truth seeking obsesses me. Getting out in nature sustains and enlivens me. Beauty enthralls me. Good relationships, good friends excite me. Starting each day anew is thrilling. Having time to contemplate and be alone in personal spiritual practice gets the day going in the right direction. Inspiration comes in unexpected moments. I have learned to just “go with the flow.” I just “let it be,” and see where it goes.

So, we live a long life, and there’s still more to go. I think that’s exciting! So many friends didn’t get this far. Cut down in the midst of life, as they say. I do appreciate that I’ve come this far. Much further than I ever expected. Outlived my mother by almost twenty years and have almost outlived my father. I’m thrilled about this.

As my blog title states, it ain’t over till it’s over. I’m thankful it is not over yet. I hope I have a lot more discovering, exploring, and enjoying of life. My curiosity does keep me busy, moving forward. I can’t let the crap of the world get me down. I can’t control a lot of life, but I can control my mind, my thinking, my personal space and environment. My connection to the real source of life. Hope you can say the same and see it that way. What’s the saying? “Go with God!” Whatever that means to you, however you see it. It’s the best way to live.

Wally

Posted on

Masters, Gurus, Teachers, Cults [Post #111]

Well, this political season is a wild one. Lots of talk about cults and lots of anger and hatred and rigid thinking. Gets me thinking about these things. History is full of cults and people needing groups and leaders to follow who promise everything to loyal followers and use various manipulative and control tactics to maintain a very tight control of followers and their minds. I have even had some personal experience with “cults” in my life.

Now, the term cult does not always mean a bad thing. But often, especially these days, it does imply a bad thing. Christianity was considered a cult in the early days. Now it is rather mainstream, you could say. So, cults can be very bad or just a nuisance , you could say.

My experience with a cult sort of “snuck up on me” over a period of time. I got talked into joining one of those “human potential,” self-improvement,” “enlightenment” movements of the 1970’s. I did a training and consequently took “graduate seminars.” Did a few, or perhaps several, then decided “enough is enough.”

When the organization called me one day to get me signed up for a new seminar, I decided, no, I’ve had enough seminars for this lifetime. I said no, no more seminars. Done with them. Thank you very much, but no.

Well, that was not acceptable. If you’ve done the training and done several post-graduate seminars, you will continue taking classes for the rest of your life, or so their thinking goes. And when the person talking to me realized I was serious, he turned on me rather aggressively. “Oh, no, you can’t stop the program. You’ve got to keep taking seminars. You know what will happen if you outright quit? You are going to die” I was told sternly.

If I were to get on a plane, now it would crash. Or I would be in a fatal car crash, etc. Something bad was going to happen if I broke my association with this group. No question about that, the “universe” would get me. Absolutely certain.

It was hard to believe they could actually seriously say that, but that was apparently how they operated. So, that was my experience with what I considered a cult. A bit scary, I’d say.

So, did I learn anything from this experience? Well, yes. I learned some groups are manipulative and controlling. They say and think that they have the truth. They are sure of that and will do what they need to do to keep you in line, so to speak. These groups often have a guru or a master, a leader who will do everything to control you. If you are needy and lack confidence in yourself, watch out. The bad examples would be the Heaven’s Gate cult or the Jim Jones’ cult. There are lots of examples like these.

So, what have I learned from my experiences? I have learned that I do not especially like the concept of “guru” or “master,” or any authoritarian figure leading a group of needy people. I am fine with the concept of “teachers.” I have teachers in my life. Some great teachers, I would say. But that’s it. They are teachers. Flawed human beings that have a lot of good insights and truths to share with others.

So, today we have a lot of cults. Some more dangerous than others. Some in the political arena. Some very “wacko,” I would say. Some very dangerous. Well, that’s what we have to live with. At least I am aware of them and their dangerous influences. I will not succumb to any authoritarian figure in this day and age. I know better. Unfortunately, I see others, some friends and family cave in to cult leader persuasions. A very disappointing situation for me.

But life goes on. I can just do my best to be aware of all that is going on around me and stand up for what I see as truth. I hope and pray that the bad, the chaotic, and the evil go away and do not become the mainstream, especially in my life and of those I love.

Wally

Posted on

Why Are We (Am I) Still Here? [ Post #109 ]

Okay, this may sound a little weird for a title for my blog today, you say. It’s a subject that’s been on my mind lately and I just think I may feel better if I get this thought out there and see where it goes. Once again, perhaps, blogging is my self-therapy. This blog concerns those of us who have lived a long life. If you are like me, having lived a long life, things may be perceived differently than they were earlier in life.

I have experienced losing so many friends and family members. I have outlived so many of my friends. I, at times, think, why have I outlived my friends? It could have been me that passed on, but it wasn’t. I have been given the opportunity to see my life play out, to realize so many of my goals and desires. I have come to see myself having a “complete” life. I was not “cut down” in the midst of the busyness of living. I am thankful for this. Very thankful.

The graveyard. So many of my friends and family are there. I visit their resting places.

I survived the many stages of life we all seem to go through. I survived childhood, which for me was not the best experience I could have had. Some dark times, as I have mentioned numerous times in my writings. I survived, and I went on to break from my family and go off to college and graduate school to experience a more intellectual side of life, as best I could.

I survived the “rat racer” stage of life, where we go to work and work hard and accumulate some money and possessions and perhaps a reputation and status. Many people get stuck in this phase and that is their life, essentially. Perhaps some get disappointed with it all and become a nihilist, completely giving up on life and become very negative people. Notice that among some people you may know? Or, perhaps some become hedonists, just living to experience pleasure as the supreme purpose of life? I’ve seen all of these types of people in my life experience.

Yes, there are many ways we may live our lives. Many different paths to take. In the end, we take “our” path and that is our life. I certainly took my unique path. I lived my life differently than anyone else I know. And a lot of that life stays inside of me, unknown to others, That’s just how life is, as I see it. Some of us get to reveal a good portion of our life to others, some are rather secretive about their individual life. Through my writings, my blogging, I’ve had the opportunity to express and reveal a lot of my life (but certainly just a limited amount because life is so vast and complex).

So, if we have lived a long life, say perhaps, beyond the age of seventy or so, here we are. We’ve done it. Lived our lives. Done our things, our way. Perhaps accomplished a lot, perhaps accomplished very little of what we planned and desired to do. And now what? Just sit and get bored? Wait to die? Or… is there more to do? If we are healthy, we are very fortunate. Our body functions, our mind still works. We can still enjoy the things of this life. Be grateful if this applies to you and your life. Thank life, or the good Lord, some would say. And I agree. I’m very thankful. Very happy with my life as it unfolded.

But, now what? Why am I still here? Is there something more for me to do? To explore? To adventure into? Yeah, that’s where I am, it seems. Now I am searching for that something more. Perhaps more writing. Perhaps more expressing in other various ways. Who knows? That’s the thing about life. Who knows what’s next? What is just around the next corner? A great mystery.

So, I have the time to contemplate my life, and life in general. The more I contemplate my life, the more I realize I’ve had a great life. Better than I ever expected in my earlier years of confusion, chaos, depressions and uncertainty. Yes, it’s all worked out. I don’t want to die today, but if I do, I will go to the next experience a happy camper, as they say. And if the next experience is non-existence, that “void” of nothingness, then so be it. But, as illogical as it seems, sometimes, I believe there may be something more. I love God, the creative force, and I love Jesus, and I love life. And many other saints and sages. Why am I still here? Ahhh… that’s the mystery. I let it be. I have another day here, let’s go for it!

Wally

Posted on

The Problem with Positive Thinking, Self Help, Seeking Happiness [Post #108]

Alright, this sounds like a strange topic for a blog that has a theme of “On the Path… It’s a Wonderful Life.” I agree but let me explain. I’m all for having and creating a good and happy, positive life. I’ve written about my earlier years. Times of chaos, unhappiness, anger, confusion and the usual childhood family experiences that many of us have had. Very dark times I survived. I got through them with no major wrong turns, fortunately.

So, I have always sought a better life than my early years led me to believe was my future. I at some point realized that I had to go my own way. Create my own life, rather than just do what I was told to do. That was the path that saved me from a very bad life of deep, dark depression. Something in my inner self pointed me in the right direction. I looked for and sought out a positive way of living. I sought out religious and spiritual wisdom and guidance and knowledge. Yes, I became acquainted with the self-help literature. I learned how to be more positive and battle the negatives of life. It worked. My life turned out good. It turned out wonderful, in fact. But, underneath the “good life” I was living, there was always a dark place staring me in my face if I let it. The bad things in life. The negative, the evil, etc. Yep, always there.

Now that I have lived many, many decades and survived so many twists and turns on my path, I began to realize that something was missing. So much of the happiness seeking and self-help literature seemed to be missing something. Like so much of church experience, there was a lot of “fluff,” stuff preached at us that was not really honest and substantial. I consider myself a real, deep, and substantial person, so I looked at this situation more closely. How could seeking happiness and positive thinking be lacking something or not perhaps the best way to live?

Well, happiness is good. Joy in life is wonderful. Self-help literature can certainly be helpful and a good thing. But there’s the other side of life. Life is sh*t, the world is f*cked. There’s evil out there. Study history. I did, it was my major in college and I’m deep into studying it now in my continuing adult education. How do you reconcile it all, living a good, positive happy joyous life and seeing the crap of the world?

I needed a new, different perspective on life that was more realistic, real, true, yet good and helpful and positive. Then I came across two interesting books that got me thinking more along these lines of how to be happy and live a good life amid all the muck in this world. The titles are a bit unusual and, well, gross. “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,” and “Everything is F*cked.”

Read the two books. Couldn’t put them down and then discovered there was a third book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**ck Journal.” Wow, that really got me working on looking at my life in a new way. A different way to see things, consider how you are living and how you may want to live to deal with life now. For me, that was great. Just what I needed. Basically, telling us that there are only limited amounts of f*cks to give in life, so be deliberate in deciding where to give your attention. Don’t waste your life energy on unimportant things in your life. Give your energy to what really matters to you in life. Forget the rest. That not giving a f*ck is one of the greatest skills in life you can learn.

Well, I could go on and on, as usual in my blogs, but you get the point, I hope. There is so much we cannot control in life. Being unrealistically positive and denying the bad in this world does not work, as I see it. I say denial is never a good thing. There is a lot of crap in life. So much of life is control and manipulation of us by others. Parents, family, teachers, friends, the education system and the business world and politics, etc. There is always pain and suffering and conflicts in life. Everyone has their own agenda. Many want to hurt or harm us in one way or another, make us “play the game” (their game, their way). Perhaps you don’t see it that way, but I do. I’ve been around a long time, seen it all.

So, from these books and this personal working journal and my stoic philosophy, I see things much more clearly than I ever did before. We all hurt at times. We have been hurt. Sh*t happens. There is pain and suffering in life. Even Jesus says this. The Buddha, and others. Such is life. Life is learning how to handle all of this, and that is what we have to do, really. Otherwise, we are in denial and living a false, fantasy life. A totally pleasurable, happy all the time life, with no problems. no dark times ever.

So, yes, give a f*ck. But give good f*cks. About things you really care about. Be love, give love, live totally in love, as I see it. Deal with reality. We are going to die, you know. Just live a good, ethical life so you can feel good about it all when you must say “goodbye” to everything and everyone.

I could go on, and maybe in later blog posts I’ll include some more insights gained from these books. I’ll just briefly say a few more things brought out in my reading of these books.

Shut up and be grateful. Eliminate what is not adding value to your life. Create a “F*ck it list of things you will not get involved in. Do not let emotions hijack your decision making. Don’t hope for a life without problems. There will always be problems. Make your life about having better problems (yes, this is possible). There are problems you can actually enjoy having and enjoy solving. Know your values. Ask what problems you enjoy solving in life. Focus on what you can control. F*ck the rest. Find greater purpose in your life. Is that enough to begin thinking in new, unconventional ways? Thinking in these ways have proved very beneficial for me. Enjoy your journey.

Wally

Posted on

Know Thyself [Post #107]

I’m a what? After many decades of life, I am just beginning to learn some new things about myself and some new terms to apply to myself. In my previous post I was discussing my existential angst and my thanatophobia. And, after continuing to study where I’m at these days and what terms may be used to describe my current state of affairs, I came up with some new revelations.

My latest discovery is that I am a taphophile. A taphophile, I tell you. Who knew? Certainly not me, well, not until I really thought about it. Oh, if you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about, a taphophile is a “tombstone tourist.” Or a cemetery enthusiast. Strange terms to apply to myself.

As I think about it, though, I guess it’s true and I own up to it. I mentioned in previous posts that death experiences always seemed to have surrounded me and in college, one of my pleasant experiences was strolling through a cemetery near my college campus. It was a time of peace and contemplation for me for those four years on campus.

For one summer, I stayed in Seattle (I was attending college in Seattle, but my home was in Los Angeles) and accepted an offer to be a night watchman and live in an apartment at a mortuary in downtown Seattle. I would also assist in some of the functions and work at the mortuary. And, yes, that could be at times a bit “creepy.” But, also, I seemed to enjoy the unique experience of living and working in the place.

So, skipping ahead to today’s life in retirement and my current activities, I’m finding I still enjoy walks through local cemeteries and the contemplative and peaceful hikes and times spent there among the grave sites. Weird? Perhaps. I remember my dad once told me he lived near a cemetery at one time, and he could not stand it. He said he could always “smell death” and it almost made him sick. I guess he was not a taphophile.

So, what is it that attracts me to this unusual practice of being a tombstone tourist? Well, besides the peace and quiet of the graveyard, I enjoy looking at the tombstones or grave markers and noticing sometimes interesting comments and statements of those interred there. Also, just looking at the many, many graves I think about all these people (well, former people) and the lives they all lived. So many different, extremely different lives. Their lives are over. What was it all about, these thousands of lives? Oh, there is my existential angst, again. What is it all about?

Our lives. We’re created, we’re here for a while, and then we are gone. Happens to all of us. Yes, all of us. What’s my life about? What’s your life about? Did we do it right while we were here? There were many miserable lives lived, but also many wonderful lives lived. How do you rate or classify your life here for that brief time you were given?

I’ve stated in many blog posts that my life has been very good, even with the rough spots here and there. I dreamed and I achieved my dreams. I loved and have been loved. I wish it didn’t have to end, but I don’t get to control that aspect of life. Those graveyard strolls make me think on these things, not that they give me many answers. The mystery just continues. I have to live in the mystery of it all, like we all do. Religion and philosophy may give us some comfort, but really…we don’t know what it’s all about, do we?

Wally

Posted on

Existential Angst and Thanatophobia [Post # 106]

Well, those are two terms that probably need a little explaining. Perhaps a better title of this essay would be “the mystery of life and the mystery / fear or anxiety of death.” Ahhh, the biggies of life. Yeah, when we get older and realize, ahhh, our future is rather limited, and we are honest with ourselves, we look at things differently than we may have previously. My perspective is a bit different and a bit more intense at this stage of life than it was previously. In other words, the end is near and I don’t like what I’m seeing down the road (or right in front of me, perhaps).

So much of life is lived in denial, it seems. We are so busy living, struggling with life, achieving something, acquiring “stuff,” etc., that we don’t really think about the deep, meaningful aspects of our short time on this earth plane. Most people, anyway.

I’ve always been a deep thinker, a philosopher, perhaps a theologian of sorts. A believer, a non-believer, an agnostic, an atheist, a skeptic. Life is a real mystery and I understand and see that. And, yes, it drives me nuts if I think about it for very long. I’m currently studying science, history (my major in college), philosophy, theology and psychology in depth. And, yes, I’m enjoying the study. But the more I study, the more I learn, the more I realize there are no answers to the mystery of it all. There are facts, there are beliefs, there are experiences. There are systems or organizations claiming to have answers (usually called religions or belief systems or philosophies). Or cults or other groups. Lots of explanations, lots of “answers,” but “The answer”… well… some day we may know more of the answer, or maybe not.

That’s the existential angst. What’s it all about? And the thanatophobia. The anxiety or fear of death and the death process. Yeah, I see that in conjunction with the angst. Another great mystery. And we can feel all nice and secure in our beliefs and spiritual insights and enlightenment, but, really, we have to confront it and we know not when. And that drives me nuts. It’s not just theory, imaginings. It’s gonna be real. Time’s up.

I just had a friend die unexpectedly after being at our house having a good time. He went home and had a heart attack that night. And so it is with so many of us. One day here having a great time, and then, poof, gone.

Maybe I’ve been a morbid one most of my life. My first experience with death was when my cousin came to Los Angeles for a heart operation about age five or six, the same age I was. We were here playing one day, having a great time. Then, the next day he had his surgery, and he died. Poof. I didn’t know for a while what happened. I just knew something was wrong as his mother and my mother just walked about crying all day.

My first experience with death. Playing with my cousin the day before his death undergoing heart surgery.

In college I spent a summer living in a mortuary being a caretaker of the establishment and I got a free apartment for my work there. I was involved in many aspects of the business, assisting the morticians in various tasks. Very creepy at times but of course I was fascinated with it all.

Also, in my college years I would enjoy walking up the hill from my dorm and walking through the cemetery that was there. Felt a strange sense of peace and angst of sorts. Got me thinking a lot about life.

In pervious blogs I mentioned I had two strange experiences in my life. One at around age six when I was going under the anesthesia for my tonsillectomy. I went to a strange dark void and had an experience that I can only explain as an “other worldly” experience (a contact with God?). That experience is as vivid as if it happened yesterday.

The other weird experience was a “dress rehearsal” of sorts of my own death. It was so real. It was an experience I really can’t put into words. I experienced dying. Really experienced the whole process. I cannot shake that from my mind, just like my going under anesthesia as a child. And many years later I had a dream like no other dream l ever had. I was in a space capsule all alone out in deep space. It was an eerie feeling. All alone, in the dark void, at the center of being. With “God” again? A feeling I can’t put into words, again.

So, those are my two anxieties. Guess I just have to live with them. The purpose of life. What it’s all about? We have to find that out for ourselves. We have to make our own purpose. And the big event coming our way, death; well, it can’t be avoided. Some people may be comfortable with the event that is ahead of us and that may come at any moment. Currently, I am not. No matter how “enlightened” I may be, I ain’t there yet. Things may change. As I see it, we must live in the mystery. The mystery of the purpose of life. The horror of experiencing death. And being happy till the end. Wow, that’s a lot to ponder.

Maybe others aren’t bothered like I am over these matters. Perhaps denial of death and not understanding the meaning of life is how most people live. It doesn’t work for me. That’s what I know. Being one with it all, being enlightened, having an inner, spiritual life is great, but, still, we know what’s coming. Not when or the how or what the experience will be like. I think my “dress rehearsal“ experience of dying while on drugs is probably pretty accurate of what it will be like, along with my other two experiences of the deep black, eerie, lonely “void.” That’s my feeling at the present time. Guess I won’t be able to come back to tell you or anyone.

I’m fascinated by the NDE (“near death experiences”) stories I’ve read about. I’m open to those stories and how they have affected people. But those are stories of the “transitional” state and the people come back. Don’t know of any that have come back after six months or so. Of course, there are the “past lives” stories, which are also fascinating.

Well, as of now, at this point in my life, all I can do is acknowledge my existential angst and my thanatophobia. I stand in awe (and trembling) of the great mystery. God help me cope with it all.

Wally

Posted on

Not A Bible Thumper, But…. [ Post # 103 ]

So, a good, long-term friend of mine told me a long time ago, “Wally, I know in the coming years (decades in the future), you are going to hit the “sawdust trail.” I just know that. Hmmm… I thought. What is he saying? What is he talking about? Well, you’ve probably picked up from reading my blogs that I do have a spiritual side to my life. I do have a history in the “evangelical” church movement, I was in college in the “Jesus’ freak” years of the 60’s and 70’s. I ran around with a charismatic, Pentecostal group of college buddies and had some very good, inspiring times, I admit. Going on to theological seminary after college I got to study “theological” and religious things, yes, and that inspired me to continue some deep study in the field. When my professor said we do not want to tell our congregations what we learned here in seminary because it would cause them to lose their faith, I thought, wow, I’ve got to dig deep into this stuff to see what the truth is about all this “church” stuff.

Well, I later gave up on it all. I became what I considered to be an atheist. But a couple of years later I thought, I really need to explore this whole field more as atheism didn’t make a lot of sense to me either. Many atheists I met were rigid and closed minded, so on I went on with my further study.

Some people who claim to be Omnists: Ellen Burstyn, John Coltrane, Shaquille O’Neal. Chris Martin, Kyrie Irving, Ramakrishna, Philip James Bailey (who first coined the term).

Eventually I settled on a spiritual journey more in line with my life experience and my “inner sense” or inner knowing. I recently came across a term for people such as me, “exvangelical.” Okay, that works for me. I also found another term for where I’m at, Omnist.

So yes, maybe my friend was right. I continued on my spiritual quest and theological and philosophical study and now I definitely have some “spiritual” life. A mystery of life, of existence. But on a quest of trying to force people to come along with me on my specific journey? I don’t think so. Everyone has to find what works for them individually. My blogs have stated that I love Jesus, God and many sages from the ages. But that’s me, my way of living.

I went on the mission field as a construction worker for missionary friends many years ago. I have preached in churches. I have good friends that have been missionaries. I spend much time in spiritual practice and study daily, normally. But me telling anyone else what they should do or believe… no way. No tent meetings, no “sawdust trail’ as my friend predicted a long time ago. Willing to share my thoughts on things. Believing that having faith and hope and an open mind is a great way to live. Believing that that is a better way to live than just being totally materialistic.

So, it’s your life. What works for you? Embittered from having a bad experience with religion? Consider some alternatives, I say. Don’t give up on contemplating the great mystery of life. Become an exvangelical if you feel you must. Explore Omnism, the good parts of all religions. Most of philosophy says that we must find some meaning in life. Not necessarily answers, but we must give our life meaning if we are going to survive this mysterious chaos called existence. For me, life is all about love. It took me a lifetime to come to this insight, but thank God (or the whatever) I now know what I know ((which isn’t much, really.) I know that I don’t know much of anything. Live love. Life is better that way, as I see it.

Wally

Posted on

Your Story [ Post #100 ]

So, what’s your story? What is your life story? Don’t we all have one? A story that is unique for us. A story that nobody else on this earth has. A story that we have created, or a story that we think happened to us with which we had some or little control over. I am fascinated with people’s stories.

I am fascinated by how some people have very unremarkable beginnings and turn out to be amazing individuals who create unbelievable lives, invent incredible things and advance our civilization to new heights. Then there are those who just seem to gravitate to awful lives and do much evil with their time on this earth.

So, our story. What is our story? I think we all know of people who have a horrible or miserable story. A story they are sometimes absorbed in totally and cannot break out of their negativity. Some end up just living totally in their misery and often shorten their lives through their addictions or their decision to end it all through suicide. Sad, I say, but understandable in a sense. We need to have good perspective and good activity and relationships to live positively and productively and successfully. And, I would add, a faith of some sort. If we don’t have those things, well, I say, we are living a fragile and dangerous life. I have seen several friends live like that and often have a very unhappy ending to it all.

I feel my story has changed in the past couple of years or so. I feel I had a rough early life with my family and all that’s involved in growing up. I have written about some it in previous blogs posts. So, yes, I did have some rough times early in my family life. But now I feel different about it all. Yes, I was unhappy with several things early on. But I made it through those times and made my decisions to go in new directions. And now I see that I needed to go through all I went through to get where I am today. In other words, it all worked out in the end. I see all the pieces of the puzzle now fitting together, as it were. And that’s a good, liberating feeling.

So, our story. We have a lot to do with how we see our story. We can be imprisoned and stuck with our story for all our life. Or, if we work at it, we can break out of our self-imposed story and see everything in a new way. And I would say that’s what we need to do. Step outside our “story.” If a process is needed, such as therapy or deep spiritual work, I say go for it. We have a right to have a good life, to be in touch with the invisible, good forces, the Divine aspects of life. I believe we all have the possibility of getting in touch with the Good. But if we don’t do that, well, life can be bad, really bad and sad.

Like I said, everything, everything brought me to where I am today. I have found the love of my life (which for most of my life I did not think was possible). I have accomplished my life dreams of obtaining my pilot licenses and flight instructor certificates. I have literally traveled around the world. I have had great times with great friends. And the crap, well, just part of the whole process, the lessons to be learned.

All of this was recently brought to mind when I met up with two good friends from my college years of a half century ago. They had stories about me to tell and informed my husband about those crazy years living in the dorm at school. I didn’t quite remember everything but knew that was my story at that time.

Meeting up with old college buddies, dorm roommate and dormmate after a half century. Stories to tell!

So, my advice is to look at your story. See it as clearly as you can. And be open to seeing it differently, if necessary. Break out of your repetitious story to created a new, better context if necessary. This is your one life. Enjoy it! Touch your Divinity, your connection to the universe, all of life, existence, love.

Wally

Posted on

There Is No Path [Post # 99]

So, the theme of my blog is : “On the Path… It’s a Wonderful Life.” And here I’m saying that there is no path. Perhaps I should clarify that statement to say that there is no ONE path! We are led to believe that there is one path, the right path. Take that one path and our life will be great, wonderful, in fact; we are taught that early in life. For many, that path is a religious path. Just join and commit to the correct religion and you’re set for a good life and a good “after life” with God, in heaven.

Well, I don’t think so. Not quite that simple. I haven’t found anybody that is that committed to every aspect of whatever path they are taking through life if that path is a religious path, especially a rigid, very strict path of whatever religion or leader, with the exception of cults, perhaps. For most of us, we may basically accept a path laid out before us by others or a religion or philosophy. I think that there are many, who, like me, accept some of what others proclaim is “the way” to live a good life. But they do not accept everything. They take some truths from here and some from there. They, in the end, formulate their “own path.” And that is how I believe it should be.

I’ve known “good Catholics,” “good Mormons,” “good Baptists,” good jews,” etc. but they do not go along with everything their particular religion insists on their adherents agreeing to. In my own journey I had to change my thinking many times, and it still changes all the time. I began with joining an evangelical Christian denomination in my teens. That worked for a while but eventually caused me problems as life moved along. After theological seminary graduate school, I eventually considered myself an atheist due to my inability to accept beliefs I was told were the truth, the only “way.” But later on, I returned to some more “open” spiritual teachings and found my way back to a path that was “my path”, my way to experience the ineffable.

So, it seems we all have to find our own path, right? Yes, you may align with a particular religion or spiritual path, or you may not. I think it helps to basically align with something. To be a completely materialistic person, narcissistic or living off of artificial stimulants, whether possessions or sex or drugs or whatever just does not make a good life as I see it.

So, “find your own path” is my mantra. Center yourself somehow in something good. Don’t get “sucked in” to culture, society, the media, trends, miserable friends and other bad influences. Think about who your “teachers” are in your life. You are probably somebody’s disciple, if you think about it. You learned how to live from somebody in your life. Who was that teacher for you?

Think it over. Who were your teachers? Who influenced you? Who and what teaching did you follow? How did you avoid going down the “wrong” path (and I am hoping you did avoid doing that)? Are you living the true religion? Your religion? Traveling your path?

I went through a lot on my journey. I faced making the wrong turns many times. Turns in the road that could have destroyed me. Yes, scary. Yes, lucky. Well, lucky I say, but really I feel I was led and guided all along the way from my very early years. By what? By what people call “God?” My “higher self?” To me it is all mystery, but I have no problems, really, with the term God, Spirit, Life Force.

So, to wrap this essay up, I will give you my secrets to traveling “my” path. There are many things I could say, but the points that come to mind right now are: Always move forward, forgive, retreat and rest and refresh, contemplate, love, give thanks. Those practices are found in several religions. And if I am a disciple of any sages, I would put Jesus and Buddha and perhaps a couple others at the top of that list. May your path work for you. My advice, again, is “do not blindly accept a path presented to you without serious study and thought and consultation with your “higher self, true self or divine intuition.”

Wally

Posted on

Surviving My “Death Date” [ Post # 98 ]

Okay, this one is a bit weird, I admit. But it happened. I thought I’d write about this recent experience while it is fresh in my memory. It all started when….

Several months ago, I was just messing around on the internet. I “googled” (just for fun) “when am I going to die?” I had done this in the past and I got all sorts of interesting answers. I answered the questions on the website such as age, medical situations I have, etc. and when I completed that I hit “enter.” When the response came back quickly, I about fainted, I think.

The answer the website gave me was, “Your probable year of demise … 2023.” What?!!! Holy #^$*^#@! I was NOT expecting that! I had never experienced a date that close being the answer to that question. Like I said, I had done this exercise a few time before and I always got a date many years in the future. I couldn’t believe this website would give such a close date to this morbid question. This really shocked me. Yet, I, in jest (well, sort of) thought, well perhaps I should ask God what’s up with this, so I said, “Okay, God, and what is the date for this event?” “June 16th was the response I heard loud and clear, with even a vision of that date before me!

The response to my inquiry of “when will I die.”

Oh, great, I thought. Now I have my death date to deal with in the coming months. This experience was so stunning and certain. What did I get myself into, I asked? Well, there was nothing to do at that point and the date was months away, so maybe I can just forget all about it, was my thinking. Yeah, right, I was just going to forget about it. I don’t think so.

Well, as the date given to me came closer and closer, I did a lot of thinking. What if this was true and I was given the privilege of knowing when my end is coming? What to do? When asked by a few friends that knew about this premonition what chance I thought there was of this being an accurate “preview” of the end, I responded with “I give it a 50/50 chance of being a real thing, a true premonition. And that was where I was with all of this. I know strange things like this can happen. I recall reading in one of Deepak Chopra’s books (I think that’s where I read it) that we could know the date of our demise if we really want to and ask God to tell us.

Yes, I did try some other websites to see what other dates came up in answer to my question.

So, what to do? I felt strange with this dilemma before me, so I did some deep thinking. I realized, well, it’s possible this is the end of it all. I have had a long life. I have had a very satisfying life, what I considered a very “complete” life. I thought back and realized that I had accomplished all of my dreams. I had accomplished getting all of my pilot licenses, I worked in the aviation field, and I got to travel the world (literally; my first free airline trip I took was around the world in 1974). I got a good education. I made several good friendships and eventually found the love of my life (been together for thirty-four years and married for eight). If I were to die right now, I would be very satisfyied with my life and willing to let it go (got to do that someday). So, why not now? A weird place to be and a weird feeling to have about all of this morbid stuff.

So, as that day approached, I accepted the possibility that this was “it.” I thought, well I don’t have to make amends, I don’t have to forgive anyone, I don’t have to have drama about all of this. I will just accept this as it is, if this is the end. Thankfully I was not sick and suffering in pain or anything like that. I was feeling great and really happy with my life. In a good state of mind. A good way to go, as I saw it.

So, the day came. I lived through the day. I did wonder if I might just suddenly collapse and that would be it. I was very attentive the whole day. Everything was going well. I even joked with friends that maybe this would be the day I would take up a new sport, of skydiving.

I made it through the day just fine. When I went to bed I was hoping I would wake up the next morning (alive, on this earth) and I did! I was a happy man. So, what was this all about?

Spending some time reflecting on this weird experience, here’s what I have come up with. This experience seemed to me to be like a “dress rehearsal” for the real thing, the end of my life. I actually faced the unpleasant possibility that this was the time for it all to end. I was surprised that I actually felt okay with it all. Like I said, I wanted to live a lot more, but, you know, we usually don’t have control over that part of life. I realized that I had a good life. I had nothing to agonize about regarding my relationships. My relationships were good and honest and loving. Even with people I really didn’t like. I held no hatred, no grudges or resentments against them. I wished them well to go on with their lives, on their paths (which I may not understand), and live good lives as much as possible. I feel that is the Christ / Buddha / Vishnu, whatever, in me. Let them (those people I do not particularly like) be. Let me be.

I feel now that there is more to live. Perhaps some new stuff to do. To explore. To stay on the good path and see where we go. And, yes, that final last day will come at some point, but now I have a little more understanding and preparedness for it, I feel. Perhaps that was my lesson through all of this. Still praying for and hoping for a lot more life to experience but feeling good about all I have lived through. So, let’s “hang in there” and see what’s next, where we’re going to go on this journey called “life.”

Wally