Category: Just My Thoughts on Things

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Three Things We All Do / Will Do [ Post #96 ]

We all live such different lives. We all have different worlds we live in, both on a personal, individual level, and on a social, communal level. No matter how different we all are, I was thinking about three things we all do, and will do, whether we are aware of them or not. I really don’t think there are any exceptions to these if we have lived any substantial amount of time on this earth.

The first thing I believe we all do is find our own god (or God). “What”, you say? No, not everybody finds God. Some people never really think about God much at all, some spend a good portion of their lives “searching for God,” and some people are sure they have found God and live with a certainty that they know God and everything about God and living the spiritual life. And some are certain that there is no such thing as God or a spiritual, other realm (those described as “atheists” or agnostics).

I say, I think we all find our god (or God). Everyone. What is god to you? What drives you? What do you live for? What gives you meaning? What keeps you from just giving up, becoming overwhelmed by everything? Why live? I’m saying that if we stay here and continue living our lives, there’s something that we consider our “god.”

For some people with a lot of ambition and drive and perhaps insecurity, money is their god. Don’t we all see that? Some people are driven only by money. Getting rich, very rich. Proving that they are better than anyone else. Having more money than everyone else, that’s success. For others, there are other things that become their god. How about sex for the sex addicts? Relationships for the relationship addicts? Drugs and alcohol become gods for many. Of course for some religious people the God of their particular religion becomes their God. I’m saying we all find something that becomes our “god,” even if we don’t see it that way.

On a personal note, I must say that I’ve never been a shallow person. I’ve always been a deep person, even if I didn’t know that in my earlier life. I never got hooked on the superficialities of life, as I see it. I was never into accumulating a lot of possessions. Or trying to be or look better than anyone else. Money was never a god for me. Yes, money is very important in having a good life and functioning well through all of life’s phases, but I never considered it a god like some people do. So, what is my God?

I would say my God is the creative, life force that gave me life and has sustained my life this far. I would not say it is the God of the church, the temple, the synagogue, most religions. Well, yes in some sense, but religious systems have a well-defined, concocted definition of God that I see as limited and a speculative invention. My God is the universal force of the universe, whatever the hell that is. And it is very real to me. Coming from an evangelical Christian background in my teens, that is a major shift in my theology.

My walks in the cemetery help me reflect on the deeper aspects of life.

So, I’m saying we all find our God in this life, whether we realize that or admit to that or not. And my second thing we all do, as I see it, is we all have our own life story inside of us. Some of us openly tell others our story, perhaps in a book such as an autobiography. I haven’t written my autobiography, but I have written over ninety blog posts telling a lot of my life stories. A lot of my life story is in those ninety or so essays. And, or course, many people do not write out their stories, but they do have them inside of their heads, so to speak. Many keep them there all their life and die with them. Others, like myself, tell them in bits and pieces as we wander through life with our friends and companions.

And then there is the one thing we all will do as this life comes to a conclusion. When the time comes, we all must face the impermanence of life and let go of everything. Yes, let go of everything, totally, completely. That’s not being morbid, really, as I see it, that’s being realistic. We all have to do that. And it may take various forms.

Some of us will have time to ponder this end stage of life. We will face it for a certain period of time before we “let go.” Others may experience a quick or even instantaneous release of our life. Some may let go in their sleep. No matter how, I think we all play some part in the letting go and releasing of our grasping of life. That’s my thinking about this, but I guess we don’t know anything for sure until that time comes and we experience it.

So, how do I feel about all of this? Well, I feel good about my concept of God. Not that I understand much of any of it, even being the theologian that I am. And about our life story we carry around with us all through life. Well, I’ve worked on letting some of that story out through my writing and sharing with people. My good friends have a pretty decent and accurate sense of who I am, and I’m cool with that. And then, that final part, that letting go. Well, I’d prefer to live forever here on this earth plane, but that is not up to me. Nature has its laws, and all living things must die. So, I guess we just have to deal with that. I do work at being in a good place of peace, love and completeness with life, including forgiveness where necessary so I can leave this life feeling good about my life. And, if consciousness survives physical death, well, I’ll be somewhere with God or the creative force. Perhaps with the sages. That would be nice. Perhaps with Jesus, whom I love dearly. And if there is no consciousness after life ceases, well, case closed. Life is over and done with. And I hope that is not the case. Out of my hands, like so much of life.

Live the best life you can. That’s my advice. Be love. Be compassion. Be with the universal life force (God if you will). And let it go when it is over. Go in peace, go in joy, go in love. Be thankful for it all.

Wally

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The 90% Factor [Post #92]

I’m realizing something at this stage of life. Living a long life gives one the opportunity to see things in the “big picture,” to have a different perspective on life than was possible earlier because we were all caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, making a living. This is a time in life to reflect and think on the meaning of life and all that goes on, day-to-day.

One realization that I have come to is that so much of life is B.S. So much… I’m thinking maybe up to ninety percent of life is really just B.S. (baloney). But we have to put up with it in order to get through it all and have the life we are meant to have, the good life that we want. And I do not mean to be negative, necessarily. I absolutely believe in being positive about life. It is truly a blessing, full of goodness if we look for it, see it, live it.

But when you look at things in life you can see so much that is stupid, baloney, manipulative and controlling by others. What got me thinking about all of this was the number of telemarketing calls I get every day. Yes, I did get on the “do not call list” years ago, but did that make a difference? No, that didn’t stop them. Then I started thinking about all the other things in life. I saw all the fraudulent emails I get daily. And the fraudulent activities on the internet. And having your identity stolen and all of that kind of stuff. I’ve learned that once you get on a list, watch out! Or give some money to a charity and every charity on the face of this earth is bombarding you with requests daily.

I just wish I was aware earlier in life of this fact. Yes, life would still have been ninety percent baloney, but I think I could have handled life much better, had a more detached perspective, a more Zen and stoic approach to everything. Perhaps I would have disregarded the unimportant and damaging situations and events that daily life entailed.

At this stage of life, I just don’t care about so much of what life seems to consist of. I only want at this point the ten percent of the positive, the good, the wonderful of life. I do believe we can conclude our life adventure with an upbeat, joyous, contented feeling of our life story. There are good activities, good people doing good things in this world. I’m interested in finding out about these people and the good that is happening around the globe. I know it exists. The news outlets may not report it. Our society and culture may deny there’s any good in the world these days, but I know better. I search out the books and articles of the good occurring in our day, in our world.

So, yes, there’s a pessimistic and an optimistic theme in this blog. Ninety percent of life may be crap, as I call it. But the ten percent remaining of life. I want to live in that realm. I need to carefully choose what I think, what I listen to, what I react to, or rather how I react. If I just “drift” along with our culture, with the extremists, the wacko conspiracists, the cultists and rigid religious authoritarians, I’m sunk. I’m depressed, I’m hopeless.

So, just after I wrote this, being curious if anyone else thought that life is ninety percent B.S., I got quite a surprise. Here I thought I was being so original in my thinking, so creative. Well, it turns out there is a law covering just this topic I’m discussing. It’s called “Sturgeon’s Law, which states that “ninety percent of everything is crap.” It was coined by Theodore Sturgeon, a science fiction author in 1957.

And I thought I was so original in coming up with this idea. Theodore Sturgeon came up with this law in 1957!

And Rudyard Kipling’s “The Light That Failed” (1890) used the adage “four fifths of everybody’s work must be bad. But the remnant is worth the trouble for its own sake.” Also, in 2013, philosopher Daniel Dennett championed Sturgeon’s law as one of his seven tools for critical thinking. “90% of everything is crap. That is true, whether you are talking about physics, chemistry, evolutionary psychology, sociology, medicine – you name it- rock music, country western. 90% of everything is crap.”

Well, I say that sounds a bit extreme, but I agree in general terms with where he’s coming from. A lot is crap! Perhaps you agree, perhaps you don’t. But that’s how I see it. I have to work hard to stay in the ten percent positive part of life. Hard work. Just drifting along won’t work for me. Didn’t work earlier in my life, won’t work now. The difference is that now I am aware. Bring on the GOOD, God (universe, or however you see the ultimate of existence)! The cultists, conspiracists, doomsayers, MAGA’s, stay away from me. Even you telemarketers and obnoxious salespeople, Stay away. I want to live out my life in an upbeat, positive way. No civil war, no apocalypse, No buying and stocking up on guns and ammunition as some friends and family have suggested. Have some faith, yes, the faith you claim to have and live!

Wally

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Life Changers [Post #91]

If you’ve read my ninety posts, you have read about a few of the big “life changers” of my life. Reflecting on these incidents I have come to reflect and do some research on one of the big life changers, the Vietnam War. As I study and think about this, I realize this was a big event in my life. In fact, that whole period of the 1960’s and early 1970’s molded me in my thinking for the rest of my life up to this point. So, backing up a bit before that period, let me refresh you on those events that really made my life become what it is, beginning before that period.

My first big “life changer” was my first airplane ride around age six. I made an instant decision right after takeoff on that Delta Airlines DC3 in the 1950’s that I was going to be a pilot someday. Absolutely certain about that. And a couple of decades later, I did.

Then, in high school, when I was denied the choice to take a class with my classmates, English Literature, I was pissed. I was called in to see my counselor and was told that I was not intelligent enough to take a “college preparatory” class like that. My grades were not good enough (they were average) and it would damage me to take such an “advanced” course.” (Ironically, my counselor’s name was Miss Hope.) She gave me no hope of accomplishing much in life. Higher education was definitely not an option for someone like me. Just get a menial job after high school and be happy.

At that point, I made a decision that no one was going to talk to me like that ever again and I would do whatever I set my mind to do in life. I did go on to college and graduate school, so “thank you” Miss Hope. You inspired me to disregard your advice and move forward with my life.

So, during my college years, I faced my biggest life changer of all. I had to face being drafted and being a participant in the Vietnam War. I had lost a few college credits transferring from my local community college to a college in Seattle, Washington. My draft board did not like the fact I was behind a bit in my college education and that triggered them trying to draft me.

That really hit me hard as I was doing well with my life and my college education and now I had to face this dilemma. I had to think this situation over. I did take my draft physical, and I had to face what I thought about this war going on in the region far, far away from home. It was a very chaotic time with all that was happening. The war was peaking and what did we know about it? I began much study and reflection on the whole situation. I questioned a lot at this time. This questioning caused a lot of criticism from many different directions. This was also the era of the modern civil rights movement and our president (LBJ) trying to handle the civil rights movement and his war on poverty and the Vietnam War. Those two areas were what he was interested in, not directing this war. Not a fun time.

Well, I had taken some stands on some of the issues of the day, and I paid for my questioning by being call nasty things by my family. I had to endure being called a “nigger lover, a communist, unamerican, unpatriotic,” etc., etc. Oh, well, people react how they react, but I was just questioning all of these issues. I guess questioning was not allowed. Many years later, in my airline career when I was talking with my supervisor about things, the Vietnam War came up (he was a Marine in the war), I think he sensed I had questions about the war or perhaps antiwar sentiments. He told me that if I ever expressed thoughts or feelings about the war that were not absolutely positive, he would make my work life miserable. Wow, I still can’t question anything decades later. Also, during the war years, the government was watching me as they sent me letters saying they were aware that I had received communication from Hanoi. What that actually was was a confirmation that I had received a QSL card (a confirmation card for radio enthusiasts) confirming that I had indeed listened to their broadcast, which was just a hobby I had at the time. I was curious about the world.

So, as I see it, this was probably the biggest “life changer” for me. I learned a lot about “group think,” about going with the crowd, don’t question things, just behave, listen to and obey authorities. That changed my life. I think deeply now. I don’t just follow the leader, especially when I see that the “leader” is often a fool and a controller and manipulator. I have to buck the crowd and pay the price for thinking independently. But that was a good lesson to learn way back in my youth. It retains my sanity, especially in this insane (at times) world. Thinking deeply and my spiritual life are my salvation now.

I have found this course very helpful in understanding the Vietnam situation, which began way back in the 1940’s.

So, I am continually working on my lifetime learning through many college and university courses I have on DVD. When the course on the Vietnam War came out recently, I was glad to get it. I wanted to know more about that war that changed so many things. The war that killed and injured some friends of mine. And I am learning a lot. At the time it was happening there was so much confusion and uncertainty and, well, evil. I wanted to know more, and this course has filled in the blanks for me. What a mess that war was. That whole period still bothers and affects me in so many ways.

I recently purchased this DVD.

Anyone who had any antiwar sentiments had to face very harsh criticisms. I notice if I mention a film or tv show that an antiwar celebrity is in, such as Jane Fonda, many people immediately go ballistic.

So, that event and that time period was one of the biggest “life changers” for me. It determined how I would act and think and believe for all of my adult life. A hard time to get through, but a time with lots of lessons for me to this day.

Wally

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New Year…New Beginnings? Or…. [ Post #89 ]

Well, it’s that time of the year. The end of one year and the beginning of a new one. An interesting time for me. I watch every year how people respond to the “out with the old” and “in with the new.” As I said, most interesting.

I observe many, if not most people, say “Thank God, good riddance!” A new year, it’s gonna be better! Wishes for everyone of a great new year of wondrous things, etc., etc. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for having a great year, and a better one than last year if, for you, the previous year was an unhappy one with bad situations and misery. But my perspective is a little different than the usual one of out with the bad and in with the good.

I have been involved with a couple of churches that have a “burning bowl” service at New Year’s where they have the congregants write out what they want to “release” from their lives and put the papers in a bowl and burn them up, thus “releasing them.” That’s sort of the same thing in a spiritual process. I’m not criticizing that ritual. I’m just saying that I see, now, other perspectives regarding this matter. Recently I attended an “elder wisdom” group, and one participant expressed her view that she does not banish the unpleasant experiences from her life or memory but contemplates the lessons to be learned from the unpleasant situations that have been faced. That’s sort of what I’m talking about. I’m more in favor of facing our “shadow” experiences and handling them. not just sweeping them under the rug or burning them in a bowl ritual. And, of course, I know many will disagree with that perspective. But you know what, as I get older, I do begin to see things differently. I thought one way earlier in life, but now I see some things very differently than I did before.

Perhaps this perspective comes from the desire that on my deathbed or as I take my last breath, I have a clean life, a clear conscience with no regrets. I’ve seen too many people die with many disappointments, regrets and much hatred in their life as they pass. Sometimes, the things we have burned in that bowl are still lingering around.

So, a new year comes. Guess what? In the coming year you will probably experience some good times, some very good times. And also, there will probably be some bad experiences, also. Doesn’t that seem to happen every year? Year after year. A new year does not necessarily mean all will be good from now on. That’s not how life works. Things happen and from our judgments and opinions, those are classified as good and bad things. But there is another perspective that things happen, and we just have to deal with them as best we can. The hope that this new year is going to be just “perfect” is not real. It’s an illusion, always has been. I’m saying, for me, this thinking that this past year is yuck, horrible and this new year is going to be superb is unrealistic. Just the way I see it.

It seems that all religions are concerned with suffering. A big theme for religions. For good reason, we all suffer at times in our lives. Just the way life is. Life is change, always about change. We have to face it to live an authentic life, as I see it. I do not think the new year is going to be much different than any other year. Good and bad will happen, viewing it from the physical, material perspective, as opposed to the spiritual perspective. That’s just my view.

So, yes, I do have my rituals when the new year comes. I do not really do “New Year’s resolutions” exactly. Many people do but they don’t seem to last very long, do they? I’ve heard statistics that something like 75% of those resolutions are already broken in the first few weeks of the new year. I instead set goals for the new year. And I usually achieve most of my goals by year’s end. I am pleased with that. I don’t expect a “perfect” year. I don’t live with that illusion. I see life as a “day-to-day” experience and handle each day as it comes.

So, yes, welcome to the new year. May it be a good one for you. May we all evolve and grow and prosper. I’m all for that. Every day is a new day, every year is a new year. Enjoy the blessings as they come and deal with what you have to deal with. That’s life.

Wally

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Magnolia Bluff [ Post #86 ]

Have you had some special, favorite places to retreat to for contemplative times, times to look at life, where you are, where you’re going? In my college years, I had three places that come to mind. Places I would go to to ”think.” Places where I contemplated my future, whatever that may be. In my blog post number four (September 18, 2018) I mentioned my periodic drives from my college campus to my favorite spot to park and retreat from the business of college life. It was Magnolia Bluff in Seattle, Washington. That was my spot to retreat to often during my four years in college to chill and “think things over.” There were a couple of other places I would enjoy also. The ship canal between Lake Union and Puget Sound that was one block away from the campus and where I had a job while in school, at a restaurant on Lake Union with a great view of the lake during sunset and the evening hours.

Thinking back to those times at Magnolia Bluff, I wish I could go back to those days through a time machine and visit with myself as I would have some very interesting conversations. You see, I would spend time there, probably a half hour to an hour and I would daydream about where my life was going after I finished school. It turned out, I had not a clue what was next in my life which was before me, perhaps many decades of “something.” Work, a career more education? Not a clue for most of those four years.

The magnificent view from Magnolia Bluff of Puget Sound, Seattle

I came to college (a major feat for me as my family strongly discouraged my higher education) thinking I would possibly be a teacher, an elementary school teacher. Many said that would be a good career as you get so much time off for vacations. Well, during my first yearI worked at that for a while. Did some student teaching type of activities. It didn’t take long before I decided “nope,” not for me. So, there would be three more years of school before I would be thrust out into the world.

I had no idea what my life after school would be. I changed my major from sociology to history, only because I had enough history classes at the end of my schooling to do that and a sociology major required doing a big research project. Not because I had any reason for majoring in history. I had no idea what I was going to do. I guess I just thought I’d get into some work and get married and have a family like everyone was supposed to do.

Just a beautiful spot to “chill,” contemplate life.

Finally, in my last year, I decided to avoid having to find a job and do the usual things by deciding to continue my education with graduate school. I had an interest in possible church work as a minister (I was attending a Christian college and that was an interest of mine). So, I applied to theological seminary and was accepted. Off to Chicago I went, thinking that was the direction for me.

So, a lot seemed to finally come together after my years of driving up to Magnolia Bluff and contemplating my life’s future. It was a slow process. If I could go back and have those conversations with myself that I fantasized about, I would tell myself, “Don’t worry, your life is going to work out. No, you can’t see it now, but it will all work out.” There will be some rough times, but you’ll get through them and achieve all your dreams.

My dreams were to become a pilot and to see the world. After seminary I did get an airline job. I got to see the world. I did get my pilot licenses, private pilot and then commercial pilot licenses. I got my flight instructor’s certificates and did some flight instructing. I did all that I dreamed of doing, but as I sat at Magnolia Bluff those many years ago, I never knew how it would work out so perfectly.

So, thinking about all of this, I’m thinking, have I had any other experiences like those many hours at the bluff contemplating life? Well, probably not quite so intense or focused, but yes, I do find places to retreat to from time to time.

In seminary I would drive to nearby Lake Michigan to chill and retreat. When I lived in Santa Monica on the beach, I would spend a lot of time on the beach (yeah, and now the skin cancers seem to be the price I paid for that carelessness). And for the past twenty years I would retreat to the local mountains, renting cabins, often for weeks at a time every year. Now I get to the mountains for several days each year. And at home, I have a room designated as my “sanctuary.” So, I guess I carried on the practice of contemplation and having a sacred space in which to do my contemplation, reading, meditation and prayer. As one of my recent blogs discussed, I now am thinking, “what’s next?” So, the contemplation goes on. I am looking forward to some new stuff. Just don’t know what it is! Guess that’s the fun of life. Just keep going on, moving forward. And it helps to have great love in your heart and life. That’s the real secret.

Wally

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“Well Done, My Good and Faithful Servant” [ Post #85]

Several years ago, my pastor mentioned in a class he was teaching, the phrase from the Bible (from one of Jesus’ parables) that when he died, he would hope he would hear the words (from God), “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” That, he said, would complete his life on this earth in a happy manner. I’ve thought about him saying that recently and, yes, it gets me thinking a lot about life and the point of it all and the conclusion of it all. (By the way, he has since passed on, and I sincerely hope he had the experience he was looking forward to, hearing whose words when he made his transition from this life to whatever is next.)

Thinking about life and all its mystery and uncertainty, I find myself thinking along similar lines as my minister mentioned. At the conclusion of all of this experience called our life, what would we like as we breathe our last breath? Yes, I would like to hear those words. Words telling me that I lived a good life (overall), I did my job, my duty, my purpose and did it well. Yes, that would be nice. Something I can hope for, at least. Validation is nice, isn’t it? We often don’t get much of that in life it seems, for most of us, anyway.

I’ve lived a long life, thank goodness. Thank God, if you will. Sure, I’ve messed up, had some bad times, made some bad choices, perhaps. Haven’t we all? But, overall, it’s been great. I had dreams in my youth. I worked hard at realizing them and I was very fortunate to achieve all my aspirations. If that were not the case, at this point in my life I would be a disappointed and discouraged person, like so many people I have known. But I am very pleased with my life having done what I set out to do, regardless of others trying to interfere in my journey and limit me, discourage me and put me down in obvious and subtle ways. I overcame whatever popped up in my life trying to throw me off course. I stayed the course as they say. I overcame bad experiences, bad people I got involved with in my ignorance and inexperience of life. Getting a little spiritual in this regard, I would say I was guided and protected by the greater forces of life (which I’ll call God). Something guided and protected me.

So, what about you? Happy with your life and how it has turned out? Or less than happy? There’s no right or wrong answer to this question. It’s just an evaluation of the many decades of life you have lived. How do you think you will feel on that last day? Well, besides being resistant to letting go and feeling awful about your departure, how would you evaluate your life?

I’m happy that I feel complete with my life. I’m satisfied with how it has all played out. No regrets, no real disappointments. No anger issues, no unresolved conflicts with people. A good place to be as I see it.

So, maybe after contemplating all of this, I would say the same thing my late minister said. When I pass on (to whatever), if I were to hear a voice in that great void, I would also like it to be :

Wally

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Religion / Science / Life / And Beyond [ Post #84 ]

So, in one short essay, I’ll cover all of life. Yeah, sure. Well, perhaps give a quick overview of things in my life from the perspective of where I’m at right now, anyway. If you have read many of my previous blog posts, you can probably comprehend most of what I’m going to say here. But, just to update you, here goes.

Religion, now there’s a big subject. I’ve talked a lot about it here and there. I’ve spent a good portion of my life involved in it and studying it. I went to theological seminary. I have studied it in depth since seminary. It is a fascinating subject to me. Fascinating especially when I go deep into my study of it, studying what the scholars have to say about it. I’m not interested in the superficial, fluffy stuff one can often experience in a religious institution such as a church. As my professor in seminary once told us, “You don’t ever want to tell your congregation what you learn in seminary and biblical scholarship, as that will destroy their faith!” I understood that to mean, just teach and preach the standard, church- approved stuff. Let the people feel good about life and God, etc. Don’t bother them with the problems and conflicts and contradictions of religion.

Well, I have two strong feelings about religion. One is, for most people, it is good to have a good, well thought-out religion, or spiritual path. If it works for you, fine. If it brings more love into your life, good. Live it! Live your religion. But keep an open mind. If you find out it gives or promotes prejudice and hate, reconsider your “faith.” Something is not right, as I see it.

Okay, my other thought about religion. There is an awful history of religions and the evil ways they have been used. No question about this, just study history. The most awful history of how religion has been used to control and kill millions throughout the years. It’s sickening and evil.

So, religion can be awful. But check them out and if you find a good one, fine. So, is this perspective contradictory? Yes, I admit it. Just like so much of life, it is contradictory.

Okay, on to science. Here’s a subject that many think is the opposite of religion. Talk about contradictions! Many religious fundamentalists are not too keen on science. God created human life and all existence six thousand years ago in the Garden of Eden, they say. Not billions of years ago like most scientists say. And this is just one example of how some religionists view science. I won’t belabor the point; you get the idea.

I happen to be enjoying a deeper study of science right now with my college and university DVD courses which I have mentioned in previous blogs. I had some basic science in general education, but I admit it was not my favorite subject, or perhaps I just found it harder to understand than other subjects. I am now really enjoying it, even if I still find some subjects difficult to really understand. I have a course on cosmology that is so far beyond my comprehension I understand so little of what the excellent professor is teaching. Oh, well, I must be picking up some knowledge, if very little. I’ll redo the course later, I’m sure.

Another interesting thing about science. It changes with the times and new knowledge is discovered. Pluto was a planet when I was young and now it’s not. Science is very interesting, I’m finding. It causes me to look at things in life very differently than previously. It helps to understand how and why things happen. I find mystery in what created all the laws of science, just as the early discoverers and theologians did. Why are things the way they are? Is life chaos or is life orderly, etc., etc. And what is behind it all?

Well, as for the last two topics of this blog, life and beyond life. You’ve probably picked up from my previous blogs that I am basically a positive type of person’ or at least I look for the positive and try to live in the positive aspect of human life on this planet. True, I haven’t always been this way. My childhood was one of some very dark periods, but I survived and thrived. I worked my way through a lot of difficult times, emotionally and psychologically. I achieved my dreams and had great experiences and loves. And now my life incorporates some aspects of religion and a spiritual path. And, I might add, a lot of mystery. A lot of mystery. I don’t really know much about life in so many ways. I try to understand what I can and realize we can’t comprehend it all. We can’t comprehend most of it (life), as I see it. Why life? Why the universe? Why any existence at all?

Okay, so now on to the “and beyond” part to conclude this essay. If I see this life as basically a mystery, I certainly see the “beyond this life” as a complete mystery. Oh, I know, religion has lots of answers in this realm. And people hold strong beliefs about the “hereafter.” But to me, it’s a mystery. In the past I was very logical and materialistic when it came to this stuff. Life cannot be understood and certainly death can’t be either. But this is one area where I have had to revise my thoughts and beliefs. For a long time, especially when I was in my “atheistic” period, death was final. Existence was over, period. I remember one day my now spouse said, “well, sorry I won’t see you on the “other side.” Hmmmm.

So, I have had some weird and strange experiences in the past several years. I have been convinced (going against my logical thinking) that there is “something else,” or an unseen, invisible side to life. No, I don’t understand it. But I cannot dismiss some psychic type experiences I’ve had. And my research on NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) and similar type experiences convince me that there’s more to life than just this earthly life. But, once again, I don’t understand. I don’t understand the mystery. It’s all such a mystery. That’s where I am. And I believe, but believe what? That the mystery will be revealed as we travel on, in this life and then the other experience when it comes.

So, perhaps I’ve really said nothing in this blog. All of life is a mystery. I don’t understand much of anything. Like I’ve said before, all I know is that life can be good. We can have a good life. We can dream our dreams and realize them. I have. And we can love. We can avoid hate, we really can. And if we love, then, we have found the purpose of life. To me, it’s really that simple. And I will go on in life loving and learning and when the time comes and it is all over, well, then, perhaps some of the mystery will be revealed. That’s how I see it.

Wally

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What’s Left? [ Post #83 ]

A long life is nice. You get a chance to do things you want to do, things you have dreamed about as a kid. If things have worked out, you’ve lived your good life. Hopefully, many have had a successful life of achievement of dreams and desires fulfilled. Hopefully, you have had good relationships and loves. For many, that includes a good family and good family memories. Not for everybody, of course, but for many. And, when you have done those things you dreamed about in your younger years, you have perhaps retired (yes, some do not retire, really, they keep on going because they want to). So, if you have made it this far and your life has been good, and you are in a happy state and perhaps spending some time being reflexive and contemplative, you may be thinking, “what is left?”

That’s sort of where I am right now in my life. I ask myself (and God or the whatever) so, “what is next?” Is it over (this life of mine)? Is there more coming up, new things to do, new adventures? Or just relax and enjoy the culmination of a good life? There are many different paths that could be taken from this point I’m at. A few years ago, I started blogging; that was a new path. Are there other activities I am going to get involved in? How much time is remaining?

I think of my city councilman who recently came home for lunch, I believe, and told his wife he was just going to rest on the couch for a bit. Well, when she tried to awaken him, she couldn’t. He was gone. In his sixties and a very active and good councilman from most reports I have read. Over in the blink of an eye. A very good and productive life. Not a clue that was his last day. That gets me thinking, of course. What is left, what is next? Is there more, really, or not?

I’ve taken those online surveys about how long you are going to live, etc. Interesting stuff. The last one I took really got my attention as it gave my last year of life to be the year 2023. Hmmm…never had a response that close before. That really got me thinking, “what’s left?”

So, the time ahead is limited, but how limited? Most of my friends and a lot of my family are gone. Most of my co-workers, my age and younger, gone. I’ve been blessed with a long life. I actually have two feelings regarding this subject. One is that I have more things to do. I need to keep my energy and interests up and positive and keep moving ahead. That’s good. But at times I feel the other side of the matter. I get tired and I wonder if there is really a lot left for me. Of course, I’m pulling for that first feeling. But so were most of my friends that are gone. We just think life will go on forever. But we know better, don’t we?.

I do keep busy. I am not bored. I am not stagnating or losing any interest in life. In fact, I have decided to add the addiction of lifetime learning and continuing education to my life and that ensures that I always have things to do. I’m enjoying my newly acquired library of college and university DVD courses on a variety of subjects, some of which are new to me and some of which I have always had a strong interest in.

The Covid situation did a lot to change life as I see it. A lot of staying home and little social contact. At this point I’m wondering if I will ever resume the social life previous to the pandemic. We’ll see. I’m reluctant to do a lot of things I was doing before. I feel a bit like a hermit these days.

So, what I’m saying is that I don’t know how much is left in my life. I guess that is always the way it is. Just hope for the best. For more time to do new things and keep moving on (as long as we can). I’ve just never thought about all of this this much until my online predictions gave me such a limited time left. Nothing has changed really. The end of it all always faces us. We like to deny it, but we can’t, really.

So, “what’s left?” The big question. Perhaps the big motivator. We just have to go on in faith that we will do what is ours to do until, well, there’s no more “stuff” (living) to do. Have a great rest of your life I say! I plan to.

Wally

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The Good is Hidden [ Post # 82 ]

So, the popular feeling out there in our world is that the world is turned upside down, the end of the world, or at least of this country or our democracy is near. We need to urgently save our democracy, perhaps have a civil war, etc., etc., etc. We need to turn this country into a theocracy and autocracy at least to begin the “salvation” process.

Hmmm, what’s going on? Is everything bad, negative, hopeless? It seems that a lot of people would say so. Negativity, negativity, negativity. Get ready, the end is near. Better arm yourselves to the hilt. I’ve actually been told this from friends and family. What the hell? Get a grip, people. You think this is the worst period of history? I say, study history. Really study it. I can’t imagine living in periods that I read about in history. There have been horrible times throughout all of history. Most of us live good lives, are pretty secure in the basics of life. We can do what we want and do not live under great fear every moment.

Now, of course this is not a perfect world. There is a lot of sh*t going on. There are a lot of people hurting. It is so easy to get sucked into negative thinking. I am subject to all of this, just like so many others. I really have to fight the pull of negativity. I’ve touched on this in some past posts. It’s a real struggle at times. Yet, I’ve got to have hope. I’ve got to have faith. At least for me, my sanity. My ability to carry on, go forward, have a purpose in living. Yes, at times a real tough struggle.

I work at keeping my sanity. On keeping a joyful attitude. I have certain practices that I am totally committed to. I have to go deeper than just superficial encouragements. I work at being “up,” positive, above the fray of our society, culture. I seek out good books, articles, stories, the things we usually don’t find in the media. Like they say, “happiness, goodness does not make the news,” hence, people don’t know about the good going on in our world. And I propose that there is a lot of good in our world. We just are not aware of the good. It lies “hidden” from the masses and the media. Even the good media.

I’ve written about the dark times of my life. Those were times I got ambushed by the bad in my life and the world. I did finally rescue myself from those situations and times, but today I still pursue the fight to find the good. I know it is there. I even keep a notebook now of “goodness,” of good people doing good things, those things we’ll probably never hear about by watching the news. (I also keep a notebook of bad people as I become aware of them and their deeds.) I need to know the two different kinds of people and what they are up to.

Okay, my one caveat. Being positive is great but be aware of the bad out there.

So, that’s my method of trying to keep sane in an insane world. No need to leave this world prematurely (suicide) or go out and kill a lot of people. I’ve got my own methods to keep me going and moving forward. I’m staying on the path, and it is a wonderful life.

A current book on this subject. It’s a bit controversial as being too positive according to some reviewers. But some interesting, good points are made.

Wally

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Updates: Death Cleaning and Lifetime Learning

Today’s blog will be an update and comments on two projects which I wrote about recently, “Swedish Death Cleaning,” and “Lifetime Leaning.” I started both projects a while back and they are my current obsessions or activities that I’m really deeply involved in. This is not a bad thing. In fact, I’m in one sense really enjoying these activities, or, well, at least glad I’m finally doing them and have the self-discipline to push through and see some results. In another sense, they are driving me crazy and to the edge of my sanity.

First off, let me say my death cleaning project is well, horrendous. Those of you who have had to clean up the mess of someone after they have died know what I’m referring to. Going through someone’s life accumulation of junk and other clutter and important papers is, well, not pleasant and pushes almost every button emotionally and psychologically. I can’t work at that project more than an hour or so without nearly losing my mind. So much stuff that has just piled up in a drawer or a corner of a room or wherever. So much stuff. So many memories (not all good ones, by the way).

During my cleaning project I find interesting things I didn’t know I had (hidden among all my junk). My old membership card in the Screen Children’s Guild and my brother’s Screen Actors Guild membership card.

Anyway, after reading a book on Swedish Death Cleaning a while back, I realized it was time to get my stuff in order and clear out a lot of junk. It’s going to take hundreds of hours more to get where I want to get, but I’m steadily working at it. Thank God my spouse is very supportive, or I know I’d never get through this without losing my mind. And it’s not easy to think of the end of life as I’m doing all of this, and that is what is on my mind as I proceed in doing this almost daily activity. We don’t like to ponder this subject much, do we? But we’ve got to, as I see it.

So, let me turn to another subject that I wrote about a while back, lifetime learning. I used to sell educational and motivational cassette tapes for about twenty years as a second job besides my airline job. I bought tapes from several companies and sold them in different stores as my own business. I guess I had an interest in education and motivation and it was an enjoyable job being a distributor of the products.

Some of my current, recent study in my lifetime learning project.

When I closed down that business a while back, I had quite a collection of the tapes leftover and I just stored them away in my garage for years. Well, as I stated in my blog many months ago, I came across those stored tapes and thought, what will I do with these? Just throw them away or perhaps listen to them? Many of the tapes I had not listened to, especially the more academic ones on philosophy and religion and psychology, etc. Well, I started to listen to them and decided I would like to transfer them to CDs and start a library of them for my own “continuing education,’ or lifetime learning as they call it now.

I did convert the best ones to CDs and started an in-depth study of the subjects I was interested in. As I was doing that tape to CD conversion I came across a CD and a DVD I had that I purchased from an educational company years ago. I got a catalog from that company one day urging me to come back and try out another course of theirs. I somehow resisted the urge to toss out that catalog and decided to give that company another chance to interest my curiosity in subjects of my interest. Well, I ordered a course of college / university lectures, and I was hooked. I have since purchased many, many additional courses in my fields of interest. Yep, they got me addicted to lifetime learning.

So, with the pandemic keeping us pretty much isolated and at home for many months, I have occupied much of my time with my two current projects. My death cleaning and my continuing education. Really had the time to devote to the projects and they did consume my time and energy. I’m clearing out my life substantially of unnecessary stuff and I’m putting into my life some good, intellectually and academically stimulating education and learning. It is a good feeling. I guess you could see it as, “out with the old and in with the new.”

So, is my lifetime learning/continuing education a challenge for me also? Ah, yes. I do not claim to be an intellectual or an academician. In fact, far from that. I’m just an average person, intellectually, as I see it. I have favorite subjects which I really enjoy and do understand to some extent. Then there are subjects I just do not seem to comprehend much. But that’s okay, really. The science courses I really don’t understand much at all. Way beyond my grasp. Oh, well, I do them anyway and perhaps later will make some sense of them. But the subjects I really have an interest in I enjoy immensely.

I am enjoying the history, philosophy, religion, psychology cultural courses. I’ve done a lot of study recently on evil and finding that subject is very relevant to today’s world, especially the political world. Studying Hitler’s Empire, I find very revealing on how people fall into a cult-like authoritarian political mind set. Evil has always been around as history has shown. A lot to be learned by studying it.

So, if we pick our addictions, I’m pretty satisfied with mine. A cleaned up, simplified, organized life, and an open mind to learning more about our world. I don’t need a recovery or twelve-step program for my current addictions. I’m glad about that.

Wally