I recently lost a very special friend. A very unique friend. A very, very rare friend. Never connected before with someone in the way I connected with this friend. And, it was someone I did not frequently see or get together with. And, it was not a life-long friendship but rather a friendship of the last several years. And yet it was one of the closest friendships I have had. Deep and authentic and well, hard to express in words. That’s why the loss is deeply felt. She would be surprised to find herself the subject of one of my blogs. She was a strong supporter of my blogging from day one. She really loved my blogs and always let me know. The fact that she did not respond to my last blog concerned me, I knew something bad had happened, that’s how closely connected we were.
One of many birthday lunches
Every year since we met she would take me out for a birthday lunch. It was a given that we would always go out for my birthday and have a great time visiting since we often didn’t see each other that much. Of course, last year was the exception with the pandemic going on. Otherwise our meetings would be at church functions and church fund raisers at my home which she always attended. So, why was this friendship so different than all the other friendships I’ve had in my lifetime? I had to stop and think about that question. It’s hard to articulate, but I’ll try.
We always connected on a very deep, authentic level. This was a “no BS” type of friendship. No silly, time-wasting chit-chat or gossiping type of conversations. Always very open conversations about our lives, past and present. And very deep conversations about our personal lives and feelings. A couple of times I was surprised at the “wild times” that were confessed. It’s always refreshing to find out that the good people in our lives do have their indiscretions, hey, that’s life. But life is so much more than those times we were a bit wild in the distant past.
Another birthday gathering
So, really, I don’t know what else to say. I don’t experience relationships like this usually. And I have some very good friendships. This one just came along and I enjoyed it while it lasted. I may feel it passed too quickly, but I did thoroughly take advantage of the opportunity and enjoyed it. It affected my life. I am thankful I was there for this and did not just brush this off as a “friendship.”
We did meet at church. We were in a class when we met and agreed to become prayer partners for the class. So there was a spiritual element in our relationship. That probably helped start things off and it just took off from there.
At one of her church fundraisers
So, my point is, there are friendships and there are friendships. There are some “once-in-a-lifetime” friendships that are unique and can change us, for the better. I say, when they occur, go for it and enjoy the time, however long or brief.
I’ve noticed through the years that people, especially “Christians,” seem to be obsessed with the “end of the world,” meaning the apocalypse, the second coming or return of Christ as portrayed in the New Testament book of Revelation. I’ve noticed a renewed, fired up interest in the topic during the recent period of our previous president. I saw people really get excited about the end of the world coming very soon. Let me back up a bit to my time in college. Another time I experienced everyone around me of an evangelical, fundamentalist Christian persuasion getting all worked up about the end coming. People were really excited about this stuff. At the time, a very unusual book was on the best-seller list, Hal Lindsay’s “The Late, Great Planet Earth.” Hal Lindsay explained how the world was ending soon (he said the 1980’s would be the time, as did Billy Graham, by the way). He explained about how all the signs of the coming end times were playing out then, in the 1970’s. Oh, yes, he had it all worked out and everyone was excited (just like I experienced during the past four years of our previous president).
Well, I was in college and I decided to take a religion class ( I was attending a conservative Christian college). I took a class on the Book of Revelation. The professor was not known to be an exciting professor but it so happened he made a big impression on my life which I never expected. We were going to study the controversial book of the New Testament and I remember him saying that there were different views of the book, and scholars were seeing the writings very differently than the general Christian population, very different than Hal Lindsay’s interpretation.
My college professor that taught me to see the book of Revelation from a more scholarly perspective than the evangelical, fundamentalist Christian view and interpretation. Here we are fishing in Alaska while attending a wedding of mutual friends.
Well, I studied the book and took in the scholar’s views on the apocalypse that was written long ago, like two thousand years ago. It was very interesting and enlightening to study the writings with that different perspective. I eventually wrote my term paper on the scholarly view that the Book of Revelation was just a vision of a man long ago and was written about the times it was written in, about events happening at the time in the Roman empire. Not a vision of a future “end of the world.” I did get an “A” on my term paper and now I wish I had saved that paper to read it today. I must admit, I was quite proud of my academic work in that class.
So, this recent renewal of interest in this subject has got me studying the subject again. It amazes me how people just follow and take in whatever their church leaders tell them about theological issues. How current events are interpreted to mean that the end is coming and then having an unbalanced leader doing and saying crazy things. To them, this is exciting “proof” the Christ is coming again, very soon!
This is the book to read to get a good overview of this subject.
Ok, my suggestion would be to read the book “A History of the End of the World.” That covers the subject very well and I certainly cannot cover this in a brief essay. The Book of Revelation has had a profound affect on the world since it was written. It almost did not make it into the Christian canon. It was always a controversial book. So much of world history is connected to that book and its horrific visions, etc. Okay, that cannot be undone, but going forward, if we view the book in a more realistic way, that it is not God’s plan set in stone and is going to happen, then we can live a more normal life. I wrote a previous blog on seeing things “one way,” and one way only. And thinking only one way, that is not a good idea, in my view, as I explained in that essay.
Yes, I take the more scholarly view on biblical and theological and religious issues now. When I went to theological seminary, I thought I was going there to prepare for the Christian ministry, but God, (as I see it now) had a different idea. It was a time for me to get a good theological education. Time to study deeply in a more scholarly fashion theological issues and religious and church history. It is now very useful, this theological knowledge. I am not under the spell of a charismatic evangelical or fundamentalist or cult leader. I can think freely and look at truth. I can live in a more sane world, even if many others are under the spell of religious leaders who are way off base, as I see it.
A couple of books giving a better perspective on religion from my bookshelf.
As I always preach, “don’t just accept what you are told, look at the facts, look at things with an open mind. Use your reasoning brain. Use logic. Think. Think deeply.
More from my bookshelf.
So, back to the subject at hand. Yes, the world is going to end. Science knows it is going to end. In many billions of years the sun will run out of energy and will die out. That will be the end of the earth. That I can believe. Science backs that up. And I do believe that we can destroy the earth ourselves if we are not careful. We have the means now with our weapons. If we get a crazy person to use those weapons, yep, it could be all over very quickly. Or, if we continue misusing and abusing the environment, we could end this earthly existence in a slower manner. But the vision of Revelation, just a bad vision that a man of long ago had and wrote about, is just that, a horrific vision. It can be a part of your religion, but that’s your choice. It’s not part of mine.
So, nearly three years and sixty blog essays. An experiment of exploring my life, my thoughts, my feelings and judgements. At times a scary experience revealing life experiences and secrets and reliving memories of long ago. If anything, it has been a form of self-therapy. Just writing out my experiences and reflections and seeing how my life has evolved has been an enlightening time for me. It has actually solidified and clarified some practices I engage in.
Says it all for me… I can blame my father… learned to cuss from him, but I admit I took it to a new level… my bad!
For example, when I wrote about the Sabbath, my commitment to a disciplined Sabbath became became a deeper experience for me. I liked the concept of a day of rest and I practiced that concept in a haphazard way, but after writing my blog I decided it was time to get serious about the practice and really delay any normal work for the next day; to not do work on my day of rest (my “Christian Sabbath,” Sunday)
I have written about how I achieved dreams I had in childhood and how I never let people squash any aspirations I had (and they certainly tried to). I created my “perfect life,” I really did. It amazes me, now that I reminisce about all of this. I became a pilot. I traveled the world. I found love. I did work I enjoyed. I never really hated. If I did, it was a temporary experience. I do not have any real regrets. How many can say that? I’ve lived a good life. I got to live long enough to see all of this. I did not leave this life during one of my “dark” times, thank God.
I have enjoyed good reviews from friends. Not that that was what I was writing for, but it was nice that they could see my viewpoints and enjoyed my writing. I’ve never been much good at writing fiction ( I’ve tried ),but non-fiction has worked out for me.
So. this experiment of blogging has been satisfying for me and I guess I will keep at it. I see no shortage of material to draw from. My self-therapy has enhanced my life, so, what the hell. Let’s continue onward….
I have been asked by friends a few times, “have you ever had scary or unusual experiences with all of the flying you have done?” Well, here’s the answer to that question. Yes, I have had a few frightening experiences. Considering the many many hours I have spent in the air, the few incidents were rare, but those were my moments of thinking,” is this it? So, this is how it is going to end?
I was on an airline flight where an engine exploded and it looked bad. I was piloting my own rental airplane and the throttle cable broke and I had no control over the engine, it was at full power with no control whatsoever. I once escaped from a jetliner through the emergency over-the-window exit and crawled through it to the wing, awaiting rescue. And of course, during my pilot training I had to recover from unusual situations, such as being in a spiral dive heading right for impact with the earth. Plus a couple of jetliner engine stalls in flight which got everyone’s attention. So, let me splain….
The big scare for me was on a flight from Los Angeles to London on my birthday many many years ago. In my early years with my airline I would take trips to London quite often, several time a year. I’d do the tourist things, go to plays on the west end, often first run plays and musicals, such as when “Cats” just came out. Also went to discos, etc., for my entertainment and wild times. So, in this case I was going especially to try out a brand new airplane that TWA bought, the Boeing 747SP. Being a pilot, I was curious what this new airplane was like. Was it any different than the regular Boeing 747, this new, updated version?
Well, all was going well until about an hour after takeoff. All of the sudden, there was an explosion and a shaking and a sudden drop in altitude. We were advised to buckle up and and put everything away that we may have had out. The flight attendants went running through the plane putting their things away as they were in the middle of starting the meal service. Soon, the pilot came back to look out the window to assess the damage and situation. As all that was happening, my thought was, “wow, I’m going to die on my birthday, how is that going to be talked about by my family and friends?” How ironic, being born and dying on the same day. Well, we did make it back to Los Angeles, made an emergency landing with all the firetrucks and emergency equipment following us as we touched down. The pilot had warned us they would be following us as we landed. After a couple of hours, we boarded another airplane and made our trip to London. But, for a moment or two, I was thinking, “this is it!’
I had three other “unusual” incidents on airline flights. Twice I experienced what is called an “engine stall” on a jetliner. What that is is when the airflow through the engine gets disrupted and the engine “stalls,” it makes a big “boom” and scares the hell out of you. Both times the pilot explained it as best he could and we continued our flight. Another time, something happened, which was not explained and we made an unscheduled landing in Kansas City. We were in route to St. Louis from Los Angeles, so it must have been something serious as Kansas City is not that far from St. Louis and for some reason we did not continue a little bit longer to St. Louis. The scary thing for me was, I was on my way to San Antonio, Texas to attend the American Atheist’s Convention and be with with Madelyn Murray Ohare and her family. As we diverted to Kansas City, my thoughts were along the line of “I knew I should not have come to this convention… God’s punishing me!” Well, everything turned out okay and I did enjoy my time at the convention.
When i was piloting my plane and the throttle cable broke I happened to be with my flight instructor, so between the two of us we figured out how to get to an airport and land. It was not easy. I think we figured out how to turn the engine off and back on in order to lose altitude and eventually stop the aircraft once on the ground. If I had been alone I don’t know that I would have figured out how to get back safely on the ground.
Okay, the opening of the over-the-wing emergency exit and climbing out to the wing is a bit misleading in a sense. Yes it did happen, but it was a voluntary situation. I was going to school in Seattle, Washington and Boeing Aircraft was there in Seattle at Boeing Field, where they manufactured jetliners. I volunteered to take part in an emergency evacuation of a jet for certification purposes. We were to pretend being on a flight, landing, and then, on cue. evacuate. We had to be able to evacuate within 90 seconds, and we did.
So, those were my abnormal experiences in my flying on airliners and in my own aircraft. I have had my moments of concern. I have been lucky.
So, being in the last decade(s) of life, I do a bit of reflecting over a life of many decades, many adventures, many challenges, battles, dark times, joyous times, loves and disappointments. Recently the thought came to me… have I made any wrong turns on this journey? Surely, I’m thinking, everybody has made “wrong turns.” Made some big mistakes, journeyed down the wrong paths, etc. Got to be a universal experience. Got me thinking deeply. Thinking, thinking, thinking.
I’m here to tell you, I finally decided that, no, I do not at all feel that I have made any wrong turns in my life! Wow, that almost feels weird to say, like that can’t be true. Everybody regrets making the “wrong turns” in life, I’m thinking. But it is not true for me, I feel in the depths of my soul. As you have read in previous blogs, I certainly have had difficult times in my life, dark periods, real internal, emotional struggles. But you know what? I stayed on the path I now feel was laid out before me. Since I have a thing called faith, I would say a path God laid out for me, or the universe or whatever if that is easier for you to swallow.
I would not have wanted my life to go in a different direction. No, really. It may have been a long road, but I am now in a good place and I have had good experiences and realized my dreams and loves. What can beat that? In my book, nothing! Oh, yeah, I could daydream of having accomplished some great tasks and changing the world and becoming famous. That may be a great daydream, but that was not to be my life. That’s just not my path in this life. A great path for others I would agree. If that’s your path, your journey, great. I’m all for good people doing good things and making a difference in the world. Totally behind you.
Do you get envious of other people that seem to have a life of miraculous accomplishments and success? Thank goodness I do not waste any energy on that one. I am all for good people that make a real difference in this crazy world. But, you know what? I had to live my life, do my things. Find my own path, do those things I dreamed of, be happy with my life. And, I have no regrets! I did not make wrong turns. I certainly messed up at times, made mistakes, had bad thoughts, etc., but that’s a lot different than traveling down the wrong road. No major mistakes were made (thank goodness!).
I have friends that have accomplished great things. Artists, teachers, lawyers, politicians, doctors. I love that they did their “thing.” I am sorry for those who feel that they did take the wrong turns, lost or never found their purpose in this life. That is sad. I would say that that did not have to be. But what do I know, really. Maybe that was their “path” to travel in this lifetime. And those I know who have committed suicide by intention or by neglect. How sad, how painful. Thinking of all of this does reinforce my stand that my life has involved making no wrong turns. Something guided me. Something encouraged me. Something inspired me. Even when I did not feel it at all, something was there, in my soul, in my inner being. I never shut that something, that voice, out. That’s why my blog’s theme is “On the Path,” “It’s a Wonderful Life!”
So, I wonder, were there times I could have made the “wrong turns?” Well, thinking along those lines, I could have pursued my finishing theological seminary and become a minister/pastor in a church. Had a nice normal family with children and all. No, that would not have been good. Not in my life. Or what if I had been successful in becoming an airline pilot ( I came very close but something told me this was not the right thing for me.) So, my stand is that I have not made wrong turns.
Yep, me on the right. At elementary school. Early in life. Before I made any real decisions regarding my life, whether right turns or wrong turns. A time of innocence. All of life lay ahead of me. Turns out it was a good life that was awaiting me.
So, that’s my philosophy, I guess. I made no wrong turns. I can’t speak for anyone else. Are there really wrong turns in life or is there just the way our life goes because of our intensions and choices. Something to ponder. I do have compassion for those who have a messed up life. Yes, there’s a lot of sh*t in this world. I believe we are co-creators in life. Co-creators with whatever you call it. Fate, the Universe, God. I am very grateful for my life and all the right turns I made.
Love. There’s a word that’s used a lot. Thrown around a lot. Casually and very seriously. “I love this!, I Love that! Love’s what makes the world go round,” etc., etc., etc. Yeah, we use the word love a lot, don’t we? Everyone desires love in their life. They say it gives life meaning. Even with the psychologically unbalanced, with the hardened criminals, all the misfits in life, the psychological experts would agree. The lack of love in their lives is part of their problem. It seems that love is required to have a real, meaningful and satisfying life.
Having gone through a lot in life, I would have to agree that one thing that is required to fully live, is love. In fact, at this stage of life, I would go so far as to say it is really everything. That may sound extreme, may sound very “new age.” But after living a long life, I would stick with my statement that love is everything. After studying a lot about religions, about philosophy, about life, psychology and evil or the dark side of life, it seems the only thing that really matters is, “have we loved? Really loved? Has our life been about love?
I am of the belief that love is Divine. True love is beyond us. It is from another realm. It is not part of the ego. It is, well, like, “magical.” The apostle Paul wrote the famous chapter on love in the New Testament which I think sums it up very well. Says it all, I think.
At this point in life, I am totally committed to living a life of love. I’ve lived other types of life. I’ve lived a life of turmoil. I’ve lived a life of confusion, bitterness, hate, resentment, revenge. Like most people, I’ve “acted out” at times in life. I’ve reacted to manipulations and abuse in so many ways. I feel “I’ve done it all.” From here on out, just give me love or forget it. No more crap. If you are not going to relate to me in a loving way, well, be on your way. Have a good life. Just stay out of mine. I do not accept the unloving stuff in my environment any more. Period. This past four-year period of the political situation this country has been in has had its affect on me. I’ve seen so much unloving action and expression that it has changed me. I cannot respect people I have previously had respect for. Some were close people. Does not matter. When I see the hate, the false accusations and slander, I’m done. Now the biblical passage of Jesus telling his disciples to “shake the dust off of your feet and leave the unaccepting people and move on” makes sense, takes on a whole new meaning for me.
So, I will only live in love from here on out. Decision made. But what does that entail? That question brings me to the second part of my essay. I strongly believe that to love with true, real love, one must go through a process of surrender. Yes, I know that word has bad connotations in this world and society. Surrender. Usually means, to people, to give up, give in, lose, be a loser, etc., etc. And some of that is true. But I think we need to re-define the word.
If you are truly going to love, I say some surrender is necessary. One must surrender some (I’m saying some, not all) of the ego. Some of our strongly held beliefs, feelings and opinions. If you love, you are going to be changed to some degree. An internal change and to some degree, an external change. Required, I say.
When I decided to live a life of love, I had to give up some things. When I got married, I had to surrender to the new arrangement, the new type of relationship. I even had a pastor tell me, oh, that’s dangerous. Hmmm, I thought. Wonder how his life is if he really thinks that way. I hope he was kidding, but it didn’t sound like it.
So, living a life of love and surrender. In a way that does sound like it is a way of life fraught with danger. Being a doormat, being controlled and manipulated and all that. Well, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about being strong, assertive, solid, forceful in living in love and surrender. Not weak, cowering and subject to the jerks of this world. It’s a matter of saying, “no, I will not accept that!,” Do not talk to me like that or treat me like that. We’re done here.
Yeah, these last few years have really had an impact on my life. Forced me to face what I will accept in my life now. What energies I will accept in my immediate environment. No more sh*t now. I’ve seen and experienced too much now.
Currently I am involved in a personal project, an in-depth study of philosophy. I just happened to stumble onto this project recently, and I am absolutely enthralled with the study I’m doing. Let me backtrack briefly and tell you how I got here into this unexpected place. I have a collection of some good, intelligent educational cassette tapes left over from years ago when I had my own business of selling and distributing educational and motivational tapes. I gave up the business when cassettes became outdated and CDs became the new technology. The old tapes got stored away and as I was recently decluttering my office area I came across these tapes and realized a lot of them I never actually listened to. The time came to decide, “throw then out, or listen to them and see if they are of any interest to me at this stage of my life.”
Some of the tapes I’ve converted to CDs and am currently studying. Each CD case contains four CDs..
I made the decision to listen to them, at least those that possibly interested me. I converted the tapes to CDs and began listening. For some reason I never put much effort into studying philosophy in school. I learned enough to get through college, but the bare minimum. I studied religion a lot but neglected philosophy (even though they are very interconnected and complementary in one getting a “complete” education, as I see it.
But, this blog post is not going to be about philosophy. Perhaps in a future post I will cover that subject. This post is about a life long habit I have just been thinking about recently, the habit or practice of being a “life-long learner.” At this stage of my life, I realize that habit or practice has been a great motivator and has kept me going, intellectually, and been my salvation, in a sense.
As child, somehow I got into a children’s book club that was a series of “All About” books. All about astronomy, mathematics, geography, etc. I would get a new book every month or so and I would devour it. Loved it. I loved learning new things. In a previous blog I mentioned how I was being steered to not go on to further education after high school. In fact, my thinking when I was young was, “I can’t wait to just be done with high school so I can just go get a job and live my life.” But when my high school counselor refused to let me take English literature class in high school and told me I was not “college material,” that set my mind in a new direction. I did not accept that label and eventually did get into a college and graduate school after that. I did not settle for what people thought of me, how they judged me or tried to limit me.
So, I spent my years getting my “higher education.” I loved that time. I loved college and then theological seminary (see my earlier blogs). I had my mind opened. I saw a big world out there. I traveled the world with my airline job. I developed a side business selling educational tapes for a few companies like Simon and Schuster, etc. I did listen and study the various subjects those tapes covered. (I even sold Trump tapes on how to become rich, etc., but never liked him much way back then).
When I decided it was time to realize my dream of being a pilot (a dream since about age six), I thought, well, nobody is going to help me, motivate me, guide me, so I just better get started and do some studying and pass my written exam for my private pilot license. I did just that. Found some good books, found a study guide, and on my own sat down and did some intense study. All self motivated. I went and passed my written test and then found a flight school to begin my flight training. After that, I got my commercial pilot’s license, my flight instructor’s certificate, my instrument flight instructor’s certificate and my advanced ground instructor’s certificate and did some flight instructing and commercial flying.
So, there are many instances like this where I just persisted in pushing myself in pursuit of more knowledge, or pursuing my quest of “lifelong learning.” I got my amateur radio (ham) radio license a long time ago, I used to log all my reading of books. It was an amazing list every year. In college I took a course in piano playing (I had taken lessons as a kid). I would force myself to take guest speaking gigs when offered, preaching sermons when the opportunity arose. So, even though I, like most people, experienced and fought procrastination from time to time, I always eventually pushed myself forward and learned new stuff. I’ve heard it said that our “in box” will never be empty, even at our death. I certainly believe that is true. I will never complete all the tasks I have set for myself.
So, what are the alternatives to being a lifelong learner? Well, I suppose one can just be a “drifter,” One can just drift along in life. Eat, drink and be merry, as they say. Yes, that can be a good life. Others can be more melancholy throughout their life. Living a more sad type of life. I see that as sad, but a way of life that many seem to choose or as they would see it, they are stuck with. At the opposite extreme of being a lifelong learner as I see it would be the lost individual. The person with no enjoyment in living, perhaps a gang member or a committed criminal who just has no purpose, meaning or any real motivation in life. Now, I’m not talking about a person going through a period of depression, perhaps a long and deep depression. I’m referring to a way of life. A lifelong choice.
So, lifelong learning. I see it as my salvation. I had dark periods in my early life but I propelled myself out of those prisons. Reading my previous blogs will show you that. It has been a struggle at times to make my life meaningful, give it purpose. I am now glad for those experiences. I learned my lessons and they have served me well.
A book from my library. It got me in touch with this whole subject of lifelong learning.
So, now I’m deeply involved in studying philosophers and philosophy. An area I have previously avoided in my life. It is amazing how it is opening up my eyes and thoughts to new ways of seeing things. Not that there is one philosophy, or one religion, one philosopher or guru or one way to believe (my blog, “Only One Way” goes into that way of thinking). I am on a new path in my learning adventure. I will probably purchase more university courses (CDs and DVDs) from a company I deal with. The learning will never end while I still have a breath within me. Then it’s on to learning new things, “somewhere else.”
This is a joint blog with Larry Thomson, my friend who has written two guest blogs previously. It’s a little different in that we delve into the weird side of life, the speculations on the other dimensions of life that some people, including some scientists, sense and believe in to some degree. I’m talking about things like String Theory, Black Holes, Black Energy, Etc. Quantum physics is currently exploring and investigating these realms and I must admit, it is interesting, confusing, and way beyond my comprehension. I read the books by scientists concerning these topics and my eyes glaze over as I don’t understand what I’m reading, often. Still, I do push to expand my mind to try to comprehend as much as I can. I admit, this is mysterious territory and I just can’t dismiss, categorically, all of this “woo-woo” stuff. I will now present Larry’s essay that he provided to me on this subject.
Two interesting books on “woo woo” subjects of different dimensions I’ve recently read
WHAT IF
By Larry J. Thomson
When I was a senior in high school, my friend Brian and I drove from Owensboro to Henderson in Kentucky one night for some “up-to-no-good” time. On the way home, I was showing off and driving way too fast. The faster I drove, the more Brian tensed up and squirmed. I was rather enjoying this uncharacteristic display of power. As the speedometer hit 90 mph we hit a curve in the road, I hit the brakes, and the blue ’64 Chevy station wagon, my family’s car, flipped three times, caving in the roof, demolishing the car, instantly killing Brian and myself..
This story is true except for the ending. Instead of flipping, the car did three or four whirlybird spins and stopped in the highway median, not a scratch on us and no damage to the car. Fortunately, no other cars were in sight. After the initial shock, we laughed it off and continued, under the speed limit. We were teenagers.
While the car was spinning, I went into, what seemed like another zone. I could see Brian down on the floor of the car and I felt like I had resigned all control to another power. In those moments, what if…?
What if we were in a portal to another dimension; a place where the scenario could have gone either way? What if both scenarios actually happened simultaneously; one where we survived and another where we died, and maybe even another where we were maimed or paralyzed for life? We all have those “what if” moments in our life. What if I had gotten on that plane that crashed? What if I had married my high school sweetheart? What if I had been drafted and sent to Vietnam?
There are also those bigger “what ifs” of life. What if Lee Harvey Oswald had missed? What if Hitler’s mother miscarried? What if we had contact from life on another planet? What if a person in Asia hadn’t eaten a bat?
I believe all these situations are playing out right here, right now, as well as the one situation we are focusing our awareness on – right here, right now. Metaphysics, as well as quantum physics talks about such possibilities, and experiments have been done to support the theories. Scientists believe there are at least eleven different dimensions that can be proven. I believe the number of dimensions is infinite. I believe there are as many dimensions as there are thoughts and every thought can switch us from one dimension to another. I also believe that when we dream, our soul-mind is interdimensionally traveling while our body is resting and continuing functioning as it, of itself, knows exactly how to do. Our awareness moves from our bodies and travels through what Rod Serling called the “dimension of our imagination”. There, we live other lives; with souls we don’t know in this world, with souls that we knew but have departed this world, in places from our past, places in other worlds, with beings from other worlds, etcetera, etcetera. I have realized that while I sometimes have recurring dreams, I most often am amazed at the unlimited variety of situations I experience in my dreams. Sometimes we decide to remain in one of those situations. More often we awake and our focus is back where we were before we went to sleep.
Most likely, we all give thought to those tipping points in our life and think “what if”. Personally, I could have joined the religious brotherhood, married a girlfriend named Debbie right out of high school, been drafted and sent to Vietnam (I was low on the draft list but got a 4Fclassification), stayed in Owensboro, Texas, Denver, or San Francisco instead of moving on, stayed with my lover David in Denver, OD’d on Quaaludes in San Francisco, died of AIDS in the 1980’s, not taken that permanent job with the County, and so on and so on. And if I had pushed a little harder on that gas pedal and reached 95 mph, the car could have flipped instead of spun. Knowing what I know now, all of the above would have been disastrous. But in the eternal realm of creation, all of these occurrences are playing out this very moment as well as limitless others.
Many new age authors write about “the now”, and what we experience now is depending on where we focus our awareness. It works individually as well as collectively. We may focus on the past or the future, but we’re doing it now which makes the past and future mere illusions. I’m sure a lot of folks consider all these kinds of things a lot of woo-woo. But then they will say, “God is everything, everywhere, in everyone, all the time” (time being another illusion). Jesus said, “all things are possible with God” which also means God is all possibilities; those we are focused on, and those we are not. Within the stillness of God, every potential is playing out. We have the choice of which potential to put our attention on, and sometimes we let our choice be influenced or even dictated by others with an agenda that may be altruistic, or may be selfish.God said to Moses, “tell the people I AM sent me to you”. How many times a day do we say “I am”? When we say it, are we realizing we are speaking the name of God? What follows? I am this or I am that. Are we focused or speaking vaguely? Are we controlling our focus and therefore our lives? Are we afraid of losing something or someone if we change our focus and therefore change our lives?
Ancient wisdom teaches that nothing is lost in all of Creation. Matter is simply focused energy and energy is neither created nor destroyed, but ever changing; changing based on focus. So I feel assured that whatever our focus is “mattering” at this moment, all the things we are not focused on are still happening in some dimension waiting to be focused on, or not focused on. Jesus said “in my father’s house are many mansions (dimensions)”. Then he affirmed that this is true for himself as well as everyone.
Science, religion, new age – ancient wisdom spirituality, and our own life experiences tell us in agreement; all things ARE possible; nothing is lost; and God Power is in every one of us ready to be applied to our lives and take us wherever we will to go, do whatever we will to do, and be whoever we will to be.
In conclusion (Wally)…
So, we’re really “getting out there,” aren’t we? I am pretty much in alignment with a lot of what Larry writes. I know my dream world is really wild. Have I got stories! I think a lot of us do. We often dismiss a lot of things we experience in life and the dream world that are very mystical, spectacular , unexplainable and unbelievable. I think we sometimes “drift” into other dimensions, into the “twilight zone,” you could call it. People who have had NDE’s (near death experiences) have some wild stories. there is more to life than meets the eye, as they say.
If you are a total skeptic or an unbeliever of anything but the material, physical world, well, so be it. I get it. But, someday you may just stumble into some type of contact with other dimensions and be astonished, shocked, dumbfounded. I think the perspectives Larry and I have shared here are not that uncommon in the whole scheme of life on this planet. New discoveries are being made all the time in science and physics. I say, just be open to all dimensions as you proceed on your journey. Life is an evolution and a revealing if we are awake and true to ourselves.
In previous blogs I stated my very simple religion as ” Love, Trust God, and F the Rest.” And I mean “fooey with” the rest. That is what works for me as my personal religion. Look, religion can be and is a very complicated subject and very controversial. I like to keep things simple. I believe my simple statement covers everything.
Taking my statement apart, let’s look at each part of it. The first part is “love.” Wow, that’s a big subject. Perhaps I’ll cover that in a future blog. This blog will be concerned with the second part of my belief/religion, “Trust God!” What does that mean? That, also, is a big subject. Gee, how many books have been written about trusting God? And that means what, exactly?
You live life. You live a lot of life. You go through a lot if you live to a decent middle or old age. You get kicked around a lot by life. You get hurt, abused, damaged, perhaps. Of course, you probably also get blessed, loved, excited, lucky, successful, happy and satisfied abundantly, hopefully along the way. Lots of good and bad is usually the mixture we experience over the years. We keep “moving on” unless we get really down and hit rock-bottom and decide to give up or end it all as a way out. That’s a very sad decision or choice to make, but it’s always available. So, unless we do opt-out of life, how do we make it? How do we survive the yuck, the sad, the dark, the disappointing periods we travel through? Well, as I see it now in my life, it comes down to a “trusting,” a trusting in “something.” Atheist or believer, I see it as us trusting in something.
This is where it gets all crazy and confusing and bizarre, as I see it. There are many, many ways to see life, and many beliefs to have regarding what it all is about. There are many paths to take, many ways to see how life works and how it doesn’t work. So, how do we handle all of this? This mystery of life, as the song says, “what’s it all about, Alfie?”
Well, I’m not going to get into what it is all about. I may be an enlightened soul, but that is way beyond my understanding, really. We’ve got religions and philosophers for that. That’s their business to sort out and try to make all of life into a logical system. I’ve done quite a bit of that myself, and will probably always continue to work in that region of thought and consciousness until my last breath. But for now, let me turn to how to live now, today, with no absolute certainty of what it ((life) is all about.
I very strongly believe that we have to face what’s right in front of us. I mean, really, what choice do we have? As they say, “it IS what it IS!” Life, ultimately, goes one way, the way it goes. (Oh, I am so profound, aren’t I?) I guess that’s called fatalism. Yet, I transcend that fatalism by my “trusting in God.” Hey, what? A contradiction here, you say? Well, I don’t think so, really.
So, regarding faith. I say that I have faith. Faith?, Faith in what? How can I have faith if we don’t have any real absolutes, certainties, gurus, etc.? Well, now we are touching on that part of my religion where I state, F the rest (fooey with). I do have faith. I have faith in what I call God. Others may use other words. The universe, life, etc., but I use the word God. The unseen force, creator of life, of the cosmos, etc. It’s the perspective I have on life. There is the unseen world. There are forces at work in life which you can sense if you open up to all of life, as I see it. I believe we can communicate with that force, God. I believe we can trust in that force. I believe we can live in peace, no matter what may be occurring at the present moment in time.
Now, I’m certainly not saying that things may not be going well, from our personal perspective. It seems that bad things do happen in life. Sometimes, some very bad things. We can get down, we can be devastated, hit bottom, seemingly have no hope, no faith.
But that is exactly where, as I see it, my trusting God comes into the picture. Life happens as it happens. I do my part by being awake, being aware of as much as I can. I rely on what I sense as the Divine force (God) in life. I communicate with the unseen side of life through contemplation, prayer and meditation. I listen, I pause, I open myself to what is going on. I sense the invisible dimension of Spirit life. I cannot control everything in life, but I can trust. I can surrender to the Good of life, the God, the Divine. And I do.
Now, I do not in any way put down those who have a very elaborate religious system in place in their life. You may have specific beliefs and rituals and rules which you live by. You have “your” religion. You deal with life how you believe you should. That’s fine, I say, if it is done in love, in a loving, compassionate, open way. If your religion is a religion of hate and meanness, well, I do have a problem with that.
So, “love, trust God, and fooey with the rest,” that pretty sums up what I live, what my religion is.
I had been working on two upcoming blog posts when I had an experience that caused me to put those two projects aside and consider this post as more necessary at this particular time due to current events. I delayed working on this blog until I was sure I wanted to write this post in a public forum. I feel it is time to discuss this particular childhood experience as I relate it to what is happening right now, this very week in our world, our country.
I awoke two nights ago with a very strong memory and thought on my mind. The subject was how we personally handle a mental problem, an unstable person, an insane person. Yes, I know insanity is a “legal” term but you know what I mean, a person who we say has become “unhinged.”
I had an experience when I was probably six years old or so. An experience most people would never talk about, you know, one of those “family secrets” that we take to our graves, as thy say. I wrote out this brief essay and gave it to a few very close friends. I said, just yesterday, “this is not going to be a blog but I just want to tell you something.” Well, just twenty-four hours later, after reading my essay several times, I had a change of mind and decided I needed to say this since I have an experience that I relate to what is happening in our country right now. Embarrassed? Ashamed? No. Embarrassing your family, no. I don’t see it that way. If anyone is, that’s their problem, not mine. So following is the short essay I gave to a few very close friends:
Ok, time to say what all that’s going on is doing to me. Yeah, bringing up memories that I see parallel the current world situation.
I lived with someone who, as I see it, had three psychotic breaks as they are called (my view, I’m not a trained medical person). There were three incidents I am aware of when my mother “became unhinged.”
I was involved and present in one of those events. It is burned into my memory. It’s one of those “family secrets” that never gets talked about, never dealt with, just “forgotten,” hopefully, so life can go on. Yeah, don’t face it, don’t deal with it.
So, the one incident I was a witness to and a participant in was when I was very young, probably around six years of age or so. My mother “went crazy.” I don’t know the why or the what, I just remember my family subdued and tied my mother with rope to a chair in our dining room. My father commanded us to go through the house and collect all knives and scissors that may be lying around anywhere. We did, and secured them so they were4 out of her reach.
Someone, probably my father, called the police while we kept her tied up. Eventually the police arrived and took her away. She ended up in a psychiatric hospital/sanitarium in Glendale, not far from our house. She was there for some time and received shock treatment, which was quite a cruel experience in those days. One day we got a call that she had escaped from the facility through a window and was loose in town. Somehow, as I recall, she made it the few miles to our house in Eagle Rock. That’s my memory.
So, how does this relate to current events for me? Well, I see our president in a bad mental state. As I see it, he is “unhinged” right now. He is crazy and out of control. He has a lot of power, he has the nuclear codes, the military at his command, etc. Similar to my mother having access to knives and sharp objects, etc. lying around the house. Yes, a crazy person in a crazy state of mind and the number one priority in that emergency situation is to subdue the person and protect ourselves, whatever it takes. Yes, even with a person one loves very deeply, one’s own mother. Protection is number one!
There. That’s my story. That’s the experience I had as a young kid. Trauma, yes. A memory forever burned in one’s memory, yes. This memory was deeply hidden in my unconscious mind but surfaced in the middle of the night due to our situation of us (this country) having a president that is unhinged, in my opinion. Yes, you people of his base have all types of excuses of why this is not so bad a thing or how this was “set up” by the Antifa people, etc. etc. Well, I say this is a dangerous situation. An unhinged person with such great power needs to be reigned in and brought under control. Period. Whatever it takes. I had to do it with a family member. A loved one. We do what we have to do for the safety of all.
My mother had two other major incidents similar to this. My purpose in discussing this should be obvious. So this memory is now out there and you know why I think dangerous people must be subdued and controlled, no matter who the person is or what the situation is.
