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So… This Guy Called Jesus… [Post #73]

Yeah, this guy called “Jesus.” Since it’s the Christmas season, I thought I’d ruminate a bit about the “reason for the season.” So, actually his name probably was, as the scholars tell us, Yeshua ben Yosef. And he was probably born around 3 BC. And he is now known differently by many, many groups and I think, by all of us differently, in one way or another. And yes, I could write a book on this subject, but like my other blog posts, I must be brief in this essay and just make a few points that I find interesting on this topic.

Okay, I came to Jesus, so to speak, as a teenager. I grew up in a not particularly religious family. Like many families in the 1950’s, we went to church, as families were expected to give their children a “religious upbringing,” as I see it. But a religious family… really, I think not. When I was a teenager I “came to Jesus” you could say, when I watched Billy Graham on TV (our old Hoffman black and white set) in my bedroom one day. I figured I needed something religious or spiritual or something in my life as I was not happy at times in my childhood. Maybe adding God would improve my life, I thought. Anyway, that was my start on the religious, spiritual path that I’ve been on since.

Over the years and decades since then, I’ve had many experiences and many different perspectives of the “Christian” faith. I went to seminary after college and studied for the ministry. I studied theology and church history, etc. and a while after seminary I decided to give it all up and become an atheist. Just too many problems “believing.” But, of course I was dissatisfied with atheism, eventually, and returned to a search for a real faith I could embrace and live with.

So, this guy “Jesus.” Who was he? What was he? How did he end up being the head of a new religion? Well, that took a few hundred years to develop and it’s a fascinating story; one I’m still studying in depth now. I may have been a sort of a “Jesus freak” in my college days (the 1960’s… Vietnam War, etc.), and perhaps I am now, but in a very different way. Following Jesus is very important in my life but I do not care for the term “Christian” these days. It implies too much and the political world has corrupted the term, as I see it.

So, there is this spectrum of how we see Jesus, in my view. Many of my friends are evangelical type of Christians. They see the Christian faith as the only correct religion. Coming to Jesus and accepting him as your “personal savior” is the only way to know God. The only way to be “saved.” To go to heaven and avoid hell after this life is over. That’s the religion they accept as true. (Of course, “accept Jesus as your personal savior” is nowhere in the Bible.)

At the other end of the spectrum are those who have no real thought or concern of who this Jesus was or is. They could care less. And that leaves the whole spectrum between these two extremes. Where do you fit in this spectrum? Throughout history there were groups who thought Christ was God, fully God. And those who thought he was human, only human. And those who thought he was a combination of these two positions. And people killed each other over these positions.

I have at times asked my Jewish friends how they think of Jesus. They usually say something like “I see him as a prophet, a good person, in touch with God as a prophet.” I like that. And there are churches that see Jesus as the great example for us (how we can be, how we can live), not the great exception (a Divine God person that we can never be).

So, Jesus did not come to establish a new religion. He was a Jew. He had insights that upset people. He was a disrupter. He preached that the Kingdom of God was at hand. So, how do we handle this new teaching he seemed to bring to the ancient world? I guess the answer to that question is up to each of us. My perception of this whole dilemma has evolved over the years. Do you believe in animal sacrifice such as the Jews believed in and the pagans and later the Christians (Christ’s blood covers our sins)? Do you believe Jesus was God (totally God, one with the father)? Or Jesus was human, became Divine at his baptism and Divinity left him when he was on the cross, “father, why have you forsaken me?) Or Christ was at the creation story in Genesis (in the Gospel of John)? Or, this, or that. There are many, many beliefs. It is a fascinating subject to some of us theologians.

So, Christmas season is upon us. If Jesus is your Savior, if his blood washes away your sin, fine. If he is a prophet, a holy man, fine. If he is a very enlightened man, perhaps even someone you cannot really understand or put in a certain box, fine. However you see the Jesus story, enjoy the season, I say. Enjoy life. Enjoy God. Enjoy the miracle of it all while we are here. Thank you God, thank you Jesus, thank you all enlightened masters on the other side of the veil. Amen. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Wally

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I Hate It! [ I Don’t Like It ] [ Post # 72 ]

Hate is a word I do not use much. I do not use it in referring to people. Oh, there are people I strongly dislike, people that I may see as full of evil and psychological sickness. But I refuse to use the word “hate.” Just my thing. My way of seeing things. But I will use that word to describe the state of things right now, the state of the world right now. I hate the way things are, I do not like it; I am pissed. I am living in a world I never imagined experiencing before.

In the past few years the hate has come out of the closet, so to speak, in our society, our politics, our daily living. It was not like this before. Yes, we have always had different views of life and politics, religion, etc. We’ve had Republican and Democratic presidents, conservatives and liberals and moderates and centrists in our political scene. We’ve had tough times and better times. But we have never had it like it is now. People are so worked up, so angry, so extreme. Thirty percent of our American society seem to want a dictatorship, regardless of what the popular vote may be. About the same percent, it seems, actually want a civil war in our streets. They are all excited about such a prospect. I hear it every day. What’s going on?

And, on top of all this, there’s this damn virus. I’m beginning to believe that it is not going to go away in my lifetime. We can’t even agree or work together in eliminating this thing from our world. All we do is fight each other and throw out these conspiracy theories, etc. And as for going about travel like we used to… it’s not happening anytime soon. No freedom to travel freely as in the past and fights breaking out onboard airliners among these factions of people. Yes, I hate this new world.

I’ve even heard the “super spiritual” people say oh, this is all good. This is God’s plan. God has created a perfect world, this is the best of all possible worlds. Huh… a bit wacky of a perspective I say. Ain’t buying that crock. We are doing this. Doing this to ourselves.

So, yes, I’m mad, I hate this, I am pissed. I do not like what I see humanity doing with all of this. As I explained in a previous blog, I have to seek out and find good news out there so that I don’t lose my mind watching all of this on the news every day.

I have a friend that had a t-shirt made that had the statement on it of “Blessing Happens.” He wore it to counter the popular t-shirts that had the statement “Sh*t Happens,” which I have seen almost everywhere. Wow, you’d think people would like that positive statement he had printed on his shirt, but, well, you guessed it. He got a lot of very negative feedback when out in public and eventually got rid of the shirt. Well, that’s a sad commentary on things, isn’t it?

Hmmmm….

So, I hate this. Yes, the world is very different than a few years ago. So much has changed. I’ve seen the nastiness in friends and family. I have been called vile names like never before. And as for the evangelical Christians… oh, don’t get me started!

Well, I’m just trying to survive this trying time. I have a stronger faith than I have ever had before (thank God). I am seeking and researching the good news that is out there in this world. I am limiting and watching my consumption of the daily news, knowing how it affects us. Just never thought it would be like this. How about you? Hang in there.

Wally

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Living the Good Life? Hmmm… What is the Good Life? [ Post # 71 ]

Like I have all the answers. Like I have any answers at all, really. Like you’re thinking, “who the hell does he think he is?” There are teachers, mentors, gurus, preachers out there who will tell you the answers to any questions about life you may have. Oh, yeah. Get into a movement, a religion, a cult. That will give you answers, direction, guidance, rigid belief systems. Problem solved of figuring out life.

Well, putting my sarcasm aside, I do have some thoughts on this matter of “what is the good life, is it possible, how does one achieve a good life? (Since my blog theme is “On the Path,” “It’s a Wonderful life,” I better have something to back up my theme. So, here’s my thoughts and take on this subject.

Number one, I allow everyone to have, choose their own religion. You love Jesus, great. He’s your savior, great. You follow the Buddha, fine with me. You are a pagan, an atheist, an agnostic, a follower of the wicca religion, okay. That’s your choice. What I’m talking about is how does one live a good life, regardless of one’s religion or belief system. People can be very religious, devout, etc. and be very unhappy, miserable, and depressed for periods of time, or for their whole life.

How do we be happy people? How do we really enjoy life? How do we keep our sanity, keep our heads above water when the wickedness and confusion of the world out there tries to get to us, and often does get to us? A question I think about a lot as I know what it is to slip into negativity and despair when overwhelmed by life in this world.

The quick answers, responses to my question could be the following: Balance; Boundaries; Right Thinking, Good Energy in your environment; Choose any faith or religious path very carefully. I guess I had better expand on my answers a bit, as just throwing out answers does not help very much, I’m sure.

I recently thought about all these matters and realized I should do some work on this problem of living in an insane world and staying on top of things. Succumbing to the insanity is a disaster, as I’ve discovered several times in my long life here on this earth.

I have done a lot of spiritual work and exploration. I have been in different groups in the spiritual realm, church and otherwise. I have had transformational experiences and had great “breakthroughs.” But, still, the world comes at us. The news is not as objective as it used to be in the days of Walter Cronkite and the others, if you know what I mean. Paying too much attention to the “news” drives me crazy; don’t know about you.

In my recent search, I sought out some books and reading on finding some good news in this world. I did find some interesting reading. I realized that yes, we can look for and find “good” news in our midst. But we have to go find it. Believe me, it takes work! A lot of work and intention.

Two books I’ve recently read to help me find “good news” in this insane world.

So, I have begun my work, my search for finding the good news in life, which I know must be out there but we are sheltered from by “the evening news.” When I decide to do something, I dig in and see where my research goes. Unfortunately, a lot of my work, my research, is done on my own. Not many people I know are on a search for good news, they just absorb what they age given by society and and media.

So, my discovery is that, yes, there is good news out there, but, like I said, it takes work to find it. I wish more people were attuned to the other side of the news. It would give more balance and perspective to our lives.

More good books on finding the “good news” in our world.

So, my “holier than thou” message today is, “don’t buy the bs that all is bad in the world. Look elsewhere than the daily news broadcasts. Yes, I am aware of the sh*t in the world. But I can’t be overwhelmed and destroyed emotionally by the horrors in life. Yes, you can get involved in a cause you strongly believe in, but I say, “watch out.” It can destroy you if you are not careful, aware, and keep a balance in your life with the good that is out there also.

My growing library of “how to find the good news” in life.

Be good to yourself! Find the good. Keep a balance in your life. Have boundaries of what you you will let get you down and depressed. Watch the energy you surround yourself with. Be careful, but be real. A lot of history has always been a history of bad stuff, bad people. Thank God for Jesus, the Buddha and others who have given some guidance in this arena. They saw the good and the bad in life. They gave some good advice and techniques and ways of being and thinking. Study them, their “preaching and teaching.” Then go out there in the world and be happy, enjoy the life you were miraculously given.

Wally

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Thought I knew; Glad I’m Not High-Class, Elite! [ Post # 70 ]

So, this blog comes about because of my “death cleaning;” referencing my previous blog. I do have a full library of books, probably not going to throw out many, but sorting through my stuff, I realized some books have been sitting around for years and have not been read. So, the dilemma, do I keep them (unread), or read them, or throw them out. Well, after some consideration, I added several books to my “unread, but let’s read them pile.” So, here goes my reaction after finally picking up these books and reading them. Really enjoying this and glad I decided to read and keep these books. Glad I didn’t throw them out after years of gathering dust on my bookshelf.

Three books sitting around unread for years

First off… I thought why do I have the two books on “Don’t know Much About… History, and Don’t Know Much About the Bible? I majored in history in college and I went on to seminary after college, so surely I couldn’t get much out of those two books. Wrong! Wow. The book on history really covered a lot, and a lot of stuff I don’t remember studying and that I think is very important to know, especially in this very confusing and crazy, opinionated world of ours. You know, a lot of stuff gets overlooked or hidden or just ignored in our history. It was an “eye-opener,” as they say. I recommend the book, even for “smart people,” ha, ha.

Same goes for the book on Biblical knowledge. There’s just so much we never really learned or don’t remember learning. Another “eye-opener.” Yep, I’ll keep these two books in my library for future reference when needed. Good books! As for the book on Mythology, well that’s next on my list to read as I really am ignorant in that area, just don’t know much on that subject, just the few things picked up here and there in my education. Maybe I do know more than I think, we’ll see.

More unread books in my library

Now, the books on etiquette and manners. Well, why do I have three books on that subject? That surprises me. I’m hardly what I consider “upper class” or “elite.” (Okay, I can hear your snickering over that acknowledgement… and I agree). I guess at some point I ran across these books and thought, “maybe I should read up on this area just to be knowledgeable in this area, in case I have to function in some high-class function, or maybe just to have basic manners. Not sure how I accumulated three books on this subject. So, I may not be “cultured” yet, but I at least have references if I need them. Reading them, which I’m doing now, made me think… I’m glad I was born into a middleclass family. I don’t think I would like to be in an elite or high-class family and society or be a member of the Royal Family. It would be a bit overwhelming, I think. Guess that was not my lot in life!

So, there are some of my adventures in doing my “Swedish death cleaning.” (blog #69). Interesting stuff, I think. I’m sure there’s more to come. What is next to be uncovered?

Wally

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The Stuff; And the Swedish Art of Death Cleaning [ Post #69 ]

Have you ever seen the documentaries about “hoarders?” OMG, isn’t that amazing, what some people do, what they live with? And, yes, I have known and do know some hoarders. People that can’t easily move about their house or apartment and have paths they have to make to get to another room, often with stuff piled up to the ceiling. It is real. It is unbelievable, at least to me and non-hoarders. An illness? Well, yes!

So, in all honesty, I must admit, I am no “neat freak” either. Yes, I’m somewhere in between. ( Please don’t ask my husband, he’d place me more on the hoarder side of the spectrum, but I won’t get into that here). Speaking of “neat freaks,” I’ve seen documentaries on them also, and that can be a bit abnormal sometimes, when people are extreme in that practice.

So, a couple of years ago I read about this book on the practice of “Swedish death cleaning” and it got my interest and so I bought the book. It was very popular, and I was getting older and I realized I needed to simplify my life so when I go to my “reward” of the next existence (okay, death, to be crude), I would not leave my survivors with a horrible mess to go through and clean up. Not the stuff we like to think about, usually, but, well, it’s going to happen some day, like it or not. I’m not much for denial. Denial has not worked well in my life as a habit to promote and live by.

I know many of you have had your time of cleaning up the clutter and mess of dealing with the passing of parents and others. Not pleasant, is it? A whole lifetime of “stuff.” It has to be taken care of, let go of, released. So, I figured I had better at least start cleaning up my lifetime accumulation of crap, so maybe this book would get me started in that direction.

For a normal person, it does feel great to clean things up and live a more simple, purposeful life. I admire people I know who live like that. I hope to get there some day, but I see a lot of work ahead of me. As the book says, it is a slow process with many pitfalls ahead once one gets started in seriously doing “death cleaning.” Oh, just that term bothers me, but being the stoic I am I realize it is the truth. We’ve taken a lifetime making our mess and if we have any integrity and honesty and compassion for those who are going to be left with our “clean up” project one day, we’d better get started and just “dig in.”

The ideal clean up and organization will probably never be achieved but it needs to be initiated. Procrastination just makes it worse. The morbid aspect of it all just makes procrastination the easier path to take. Well, at least last wills and testaments and a trust have been achieved, so now it’s time to handle the messy part. Like I say, I admire those of you who have cleaned up your lives and are keeping it simple. I hope I’m heading in that direction. Well, I am… I just hope I can keep up the momentum. Got to keep a positive attitude, I guess, just like with everything else in life. It can’t get me down, that would be a disaster. “One step at a time….”

Wally

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Surprise! That’s Life! [ Post # 68 ]

Okay, I’m older. I’ve lived a while on this earth. I’ve lived in this, at times, well, always, come to think of it, crazy world. Yes, crazy, insane world, but also a great world, a paradise at times and in some ways. Contradictory viewpoints and analysis, you say? Well, yes.

And that’s the point of this post. Yes, there are optimists (extreme optimists), and there are pessimists (some extreme, also). Guess you could place me in the middle somewhere. Well, actually I’m an optimist, but a conditional optimist. I don’t deny the bad of this world. Looking to my teachers, mentors of life, Jesus and the Buddha and others, I see that they basically took the middle ground, also. Saw the bad, saw the good and the potential good in life and the world.

My major in college was history, so I studied history and I can say, there always were bad times and bad things going on in the world. Some horrible things, in all ages. You think today is bad? Study history; ain’t nothing new. Just in your face now, daily, with instant news broadcasts and social media and people all wound-up in cults and conspiracy theories and rigid belief systems. Anger, hate, hostility, insanity, etc.

Just yesterday I was in line for my booster vaccination and someone just walked right up in front of me and went to the check-in window and said he had a later appointment but wanted an earlier one due to he had to get to a funeral. Yeah, right. I looked at the people behind me in line and we all had similar expressions, like “what the hell?” The man didn’t even look at us, well, a quick glance , so he knew what he was doing. I thought, in the old days, I’d confront him, but I’ve seen too many nasty encounters these days in stores, so I decided to just let it go and see what happens. He ended getting his shot ahead of mine, then he lingered around the store. Didn’t look like he has is a rush to get to a funeral. An interesting observation. I could just tell he was probably one of those pushy, nasty people that we see a lot of these days. Like I said, an interesting observation of current human behavior in public.

So, on to my point of this blog. In my older years, I’ve come to some conclusions about life after decades of living and observing life. I’ve come to the conclusion that all of life is a “surprise.” ALL of life is a surprise! We don’t really know, from moment to moment, what is about to happen in our life. Oh, we think we do. We think every day will be the same. Same ole, same ole they say. And for much of the time that may be so. That’s how we get through our days. Habits and routines are counted on to provide meaning and purpose in life. Got it, that’s how we think of life. But really? I don’t think so.

You know, in the Bible is says that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. Oh, yeah, and it also says good things happen to bad people and bad things happen go good people. The books of Proverbs and Job cover a lot of this territory as my deep study of theology and the scriptures reveals to me. Interesting. So good and bad happens to all of us.

Every moment is SURPRISE! This incident, in my face right now, is now what’s happening. You get a phone call that a friend or family member has suddenly died. Your routine casual car trip suddenly becomes an accident and you are badly injured or worse. Or, you win the lottery and are financially set for life. Or, whatever. We never know (for sure) what the next moment will bring. Life is surprise, moment by moment, day by day. No way around this fact. Oh, you say, “I’ve got religion, I’ve got faith, I’ve got hope!” And I would agree. I would absolutely agree and say the same exact words. I have great faith. It sustains me, absolutely. But what I’m saying is that even with all the faith and hope and and positivity, life is a moment-to- moment experience of “surprise.”

So, from the moment we are born, life REALLY is surprise. Surprise moment after surprise moment. Some infants live only moments, others go on to live over a hundred years. And for those that survive the birth process and childhood, every day, every moment is “surprise,” a new moment in the unknown realm of “what’s next?” And the human response to all of the surprises we experience, especially the bad or unhappy surprises is, usually, if we are honest, “why?, how? Where are you, God?, can there even be a God?”

And that’s the way it is. That’s my observation, my take on it all. We never know exactly what’s coming. Gosh, wish we did. We live like we did. We can’t prepare for everything that could occur. Impossible. What we can prepare for is that every moment of our lives is part of an unfolding of our destiny. A destiny we often do not understand (“why, God?”).

I find it helps to have faith. To have connection, both to people (our community) and to the unseen side of life. To the life force, the Presence, the Divine, God, Higher self. We can’t control it all (life). We play our part. We do our best (hopefully). To those of a religious bent, we do God’s will. Whichever category we fit into, we live our lives, but every moment is a “surprise!” We have to live with that fact, that knowledge.

Wally

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I’m Not Normal, and That’s Okay [ Post #67 ]

(There has been a gap between my last blog and this one due to my brother’s passing. Losing someone close in the family disrupts life, so I have put aside completing this blog for a bit but now have resumed writing. Perhaps in a future blog I will reflect on my sibling and all that is involved in sibling relationships. We’ll see.)

Are you normal? I’m sure a lot of people think they are. And that’s good. But I know some people that don’t think they are “normal” and I would include myself in that group of people. I’ve always felt like an “outsider,” I guess. In earlier blogs I described what my childhood and growing up was like. Some struggles and rough and dark times. That’s probably very normal in the whole scheme of things. I have had some “dark times” beyond the usual childhood experiences, times I will not discuss at this time. But beyond all of that, I’ve never felt that I “fit in.”

I was advised there are certain ways to live and certain things to do to be a normal, all-American young man. Of course I tried to adhere to the advice given. I accepted what my elders told me at that young age. Some things worked out, some did not. Some made sense, of course, and some did not, in my mind. I feel that my father had great dreams of me being a great athlete. I did get the message and I really did try to fulfill his wishes. I played Little League baseball for a short while but I was not that great. I was never that good at other sports, either. But I tried. I did like activities like archery and I really got into golf in my youth. My parents belonged to a local country club and I did a lot of golfing for a while. I enjoyed it. But then, one day a relative told me that it was very important to be a good golfer in life, especially in the life of a young man, That was imperative if one was going to be a successful person in life. At that point, I began to lose my interest in golf as it was explained to me that it was a status thing, something any business person must do and be skillful at. I guess, for me, that was a turnoff. Killed my interest.

In a lot of other things, I never really “fit in.” I see myself now as being a “sampler” of life. I “sampled” this and that. I dabbled in this and that. I, of course, had the All-American dream of being a family man with a perfect family , with all the trappings. In my twenties I realized that was not to be, that was not me. Great for others, but not my “thing.” So, then I had to decide what was I going to be? After much thinking and confusion and tasting of this and that in life, I realized I could still have an amazing life, a fulfilling life, a life of relationships and love and complete happiness. There was nothing, really, to prevent that from being my life experience. So, onward I went and did find a good life. Sure, I may have never “fit in” to the program that was laid out for me, but I survived and actually thrived.

I was a pilot and none of my friends were pilots or had the deep interest in aviation that I had. But that did not stop me from pursuing my dreams in that field. Even when I was very active in that field, I never felt very close to those pilots I did become friends with. I did not share the whole “macho” culture they all seemed to relish.

I was involved in the church a lot, but, also there I also feel I did not really “fit in.” I went to seminary, I studied a lot of church history and theology but could not really feel a part of the whole church culture. I feel that I was probably too much of an independent thinker to just go along with the crowd in religious thinking. I found a lot of messy church situations to be the norm rather than the exception. So, even though I became an occasional preacher of sorts, again, I never felt that I really fit in.

So, now I’m retired, in that later stage of life where some of us do a lot of “life review” contemplation. I see that perhaps I was not “normal.” I did not do the things my society and culture “programmed” me for. I did not fit the dreams my parents may have had for me, well, especially my father. Too bad. I lived my life as it unfolded and I feel I did a good job of living the life that I wanted. The life that I feel was laid out as mine to live.

Some of us do great things in life. Some of us become very successful and famous. Others live a more quiet life, unknown to the rest of the world. What really matters? How do we feel when we come to that last breath that we take on this earthly plane? I think the best way to conclude life is to be happy. Feel satisfied. Feel fulfilled. Having loved totally. To be one with all of life, and if you have any faith, belief, spiritual perception, to be totally with God.

Wally

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Tough Decisions We Sometimes Must Make [ Post # 66 ]

Thinking about my life, I’ve come to look at three sort-of major decisions I was forced to make in order for my life to have some integrity and meaning and direction so I could go on and live the “good life,” as I see it. I will take three major decisions I had to face in chronological order. I have touched briefly on these three decisions in previous blogs but will expand my thoughts on them here, get them out of my mind and down on paper, as it were.

I’ve written about my decision to leave my home environment at an early age (high school graduation). I had experienced an unpleasant home environment for some time and realized it was just too toxic to hang around any longer. For my survival I needed to leave and get out on my own, not knowing for sure what that meant, really. I only knew I was not going to go down the path that was laid out for me by my father, especially. His dream for me was, just get a boring job, work all your life, then die. Really inspiring! Not for me.

I left home, lived a couple of other places and then decided to go to college, against my father’s wishes (“a waste of time and money”). Opened a whole new life for me. I was free to determine my own life. I eventually started my career in the airline industry and enjoyed my love of aviation. I became a commercial pilot and flight instructor besides having my ground job.

There have always been antiwar movements. Very controversial.

While in college, another major decision had to be made. I had been enjoying college life when my draft board contacted me to tell me that they saw that I had lost some college credits when I transferred from a junior college to my four-year college (Yes, in the days of the military draft and the Vietnam War). I was going to lose my college deferment and be drafted. I wrote my draft board explaining my situation, but they didn’t care. (By the way, my college roommate saw my letter and was very impressed with my writing. I think that was the first time anyone complimented my writing abilities. He was sure that letter would get my deferment back, but it didn’t.)

One person’s opinion, shared by many.

So, it looked like I was about to be drafted and most likely be sent to Vietnam. A situation I never considered facing before. The government was going to take me out of college, train me to kill people ( people that the government decided I should kill). Wait a minute, I am going to be a trained killer? Wait a minute. No, no, no. (And people are upset/crazy today that government says wear a mask, hmmm.) It was time for me to decide what I thought about of this “war stuff.” No way was I in favor of the war. But what was I to do? What choices did I have? Declare myself as a “conscientious objector?” Flee to Canada (be a “draft dodger?”) Go to jail? Decide I was a pacifist? Something had to be decided. The next step came, having to take the draft physical. So the day came. I did not have bone spurs, but I did have knowledge of how to get my heart racing to dangerous levels which might help me fail my physical. Also, on the paperwork for the physical there was a question asking if I was a homosexual. Hmmm, I guess that would work, except at that time in my life I did not consider myself in that category at all. So, I did the physical and I did flunk it because my heartbeat was too fast for their standards. Problem averted. Draft deferment achieved.

But, I had to confront what my feelings were about the government, the military, war, killing, and following orders going against everything I believed, because the government said so. I must admit, I still struggle with this whole philosophical matter of war, killing, the military, etc. The whole concept of a “just war.” Not an easy subject in this world which has always been a warring world full of evil people. Having been a history major in college, I know how this world is and always has been. Not a pretty picture in many ways.

I wish I could talk with those who have had to handle these questions, but they won’t talk, I have discovered. War veterans come home and are silent on these things. Many have been severely damaged in one way or another. I had a friend who was a bombardier in WWII, a Christian missionary. How did he feel dropping bombs and killing lots of people? And then being on the mission field bringing salvation to people?

This is a very complex subject and I have no answers. I have lots of questions. It’s a dangerous subject to approach, usually because people’s feeling are so strong. I remember a supervisor at work once told me when we approached the subject of Vietnam that if he ever discovered I was against the war, my job would be hell, he’d see to that (he was an ex-Marine who served in the war.

I remember a conversation I had with my brother-in-law when I was nine. He ended up being a very conservative, right-wing person politically, But he was under the threat of being drafted and was absolutely opposed to being in the military. He had just had one kid and was hoping to get my sister pregnant with a second child because that would give him a deferment from the draft. He was a bit panicked as he hated the thought of being in the military. He had done ROTC training in college and hated the military regimen. Would love to have conversations about all of this, and his strong political and patriotic views.

I have had friends and family that have served in wars. I get it. They did what they believed they had to do. I really do get that. I’m just saying, when I had to face what I had to face, I would not kill on command just because the government says I have to. Today, people are going crazy about being told to wear masks. I had to face being trained and commanded to kill. I think there is a bit difference in these dilemmas

There are different types of relationships in this world.

So, the third big decision I had to make in my life, besides leaving my family to go off on my own and allowing myself to be drafted to fight in a war was how was I to live out my life? The track to follow was to be a good, normal family man. Marry, have a good family and live the typical family life of the American dream. At some point, after graduate school and beginning my airline career, I realized I was not going to live out that dream. I only knew it was not for me. Not knowing how I was going to live out my life, I knew it was not as a typical family man. I just had to “go with life” and see how it would turn out. It was a long road to find out who I was and how I was to live, but it did all work out. To quote my simple personal religion one more time, “Love; and trust God.”

Wally

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Surrender [ Post # 65 ]

Ahh, yes, another of those words that we often take as a bad, negative word in this world. To surrender is to be a loser, to give up, to admit defeat. Whether in a war, in a relationship or whatever, we usually mean something bad, losing, giving up as there’s no other choice, etc. But, in my later years I’m looking at that term in a different light. After living a long time, going through a lot of turmoil, chaos, confusion, uncertainty, etc., I have a revised view of what surrender can mean. I mean, after all, we are all going to have to eventually surrender our lives to the “whatever” that awaits us at the end of life. Well, perhaps some of us surrender at that point but others fight, often put up a valiant fight to the very end. Guess that’s our choice to make at that juncture.

So, surrender… looking back on my life, I wish I had had a better understanding of that word. In my early life I was a fighter. I rejected any thought of “surrendering.” I fought, even if the fighting was an internal struggle and conflict. I fought people trying to put me down, suppress me, control me, direct my life how they thought it should go (family and parents mostly and some teachers). And that was good, of course, as I went on to be myself as best I could under the circumstances at the time. I did not crumble, give in to the negative forces active in my early years. I fought for what I believed in, what I wanted to do and the direction I wanted to take in my life. A lot of fighting. Fortunately I was young and energetic. I succeeded in creating the life I wanted.

Probably my mantra in my early life even if I did not articulate it this way. Thinking this way probably saved me during that rough time in my life.

Looking back at that time now, I just wish I had had some sense of the good aspects of surrendering. By that I mean, yes, it was good that I fought for my best interests, but I could have felt so much better if I had surrendered to the fact that life was going to work out if I just trusted in life, that there is good in life and that good is mine to claim and live. I guess you could say a trust in God (or whatever good force there is in life). A “knowing” that all was going to be well, even while putting up the “good fight” against the negative forces.

Now in my later years I don’t have the energy and interest or time to waste in fighting everything in life. Fortunately my early years of fighting so many things and influences did pay off and I created the good life that was meant for me. I am grateful for that now. I ” fought the good fight,” to use a biblical quote. I now have a much greater appreciation for the concept of “surrendering.” I am living now a more surrendered life. Having engaged in a deep study of religion and philosophy recently, I realize that the philosophy that best fits who I am seems to be stoicism. Yes, that seems to fit best. I see that life must be faced, as it really is. Life is as it is. We may not always like that, but so it is. And the best, highest life is the ethical life. Doing right, living right. Making the best life with what we have. Living opposite to these ways, as I see it, creates a miserable life. A lot of people do live the miserable life, but it’s not for me. I’ve been there during brief times in my growing up and it was not good.

So, I am not advocating fatalism, a giving in to fate or destiny and resignation to what looks to be inevitable. Being powerless, believing defeatism, no, not at all. So let me say what I mean by having a healthy sense of surrender in life as I see it.

We can make good use of the practice of surrender in life. I’m doing a lot more of it than I ever did before now. Let me list some of the ways I see surrender now and have experienced surrender at this point in life.

My mantra now. My life today. The only way for me to live now at this stage in my life.

For me personally, I have had to surrender to the fact that some people may not, do not like me. I may not understand why, but that doesn’t really matter. And, I may have medical situations I wish I did not have, but I have them currently. I, at times, must suffer loss. Friends and family die. People leave my life, sometimes I understand, sometimes I don’t. Politics today is a “hot-button” issue. I’m very upset by what I see, how people I know are acting and believing. I can’t do much about that, they are the way they are. In my marriage, I don’t have the energy to fight. I surrender to the relationship, which, fortunately is a very good one (perfect in my humble opinion). So, let me give my thoughts on surrendering as I’ve come to understand the term and concept.

Fighting everything in life is draining and unpleasant and is a miserable way to live. You can’t control everything. For control freaks, that’s not good news. It works better to pause, step back, take your hands off the wheel at times to renew yourself. Recognize that obstacles can be detours leading you in a new, better direction. Surrender to that when that happens. If you are a spiritual person, pray and meditate and spend time in the silence with your higher self. Trust that things will work out, surrender to that truth. All will work out; trust it will all be okay. In other words, have faith.

Yes, surrender… a new way of living. Doesn’t mean accepting evil in any way, but surrendering to a “higher power.” God or Spirit is that higher power for many.

So, yes, my life has improved since I’ve surrendered to the idea of surrendering. Maybe it wasn’t so necessary in my earlier life, but it sure is now. Perhaps this is the great lesson for this period of life. Like I said, there is a big experience of the final surrendering coming up, like it or not.

So, I believe surrender can help us open up more to life, to embrace life fully, to be with the Divine Goodness (God) if one believes in that.

Wally

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A Christian? Hmmm…. [ Post # 64 ]

That’s one term that I’m not fond of. A term I say has been corrupted for a long, long time. Since the invention of the term, actually, around two thousand years ago. The term was coined to describe the followers of Jesus around the first century C.E. A new religion was being formed and the troubles began from the get-go. It was not a cohesive, unified religion. It was, to say the least, a bit fractured from the beginning. There were many factions, many struggles and fights over the beliefs these new “Christians” were developing and inventing in those first decades and centuries. And you know what? Those wars and struggles never really stopped. It’s still going on today. There were fights and conferences centuries ago to develop the Christian religion and Christian canon, the eventual New Testament. Long story short, the history of this new religion, an offshoot from Judaism, has been a mess.

Early Christianity had many theological battles, many wars and killings. Now we have creeds, etc. but really, has it changed that much?

Just study the horrendous things that occurred through the centuries. Those great “Christians” that killed viciously the “heretics” and other dissenters from the “true” religion. Yes, even the Protestants did these evil deeds.

Fast forwarding to modern times, we can see that today the word Christian can be referring to some crazy groups and people. Not that there are not many good, sincere believers in the good aspects of the Christian religion, there certainly are. I have been involved in churches all of my life in one way or another. I even prepared for the Christian ministry earlier in my life. I’m just saying I don’t like using the term in identifying myself. As a theologian I know says, he describes his religion or beliefs as “culturally Christian, spiritually unlimited.” That’s as good way to put it. I’d agree with that. I would identify myself as a “disciple of Christ,” a “follower of Jesus.” That seems more accurate to me than the general term “Christian.” I don’t subscribe to creeds, the narrow beliefs, the established dogma, etc. the different churches often demand.

The position of many today. I get it! Ironically, I still “do church,” but I’m very careful and selective about what groups I associate with.

My “religion” is an open one. That’s it. I’ve been all over the spiritual/religious map at different phases in my life. When I was in seminary preparing for the ministry, I remember a professor telling the class, “don’t ever preach or teach your church people what you learn here in seminary (when you are a minister), you will destroy their faith!” Wow, that says it all.

So, there is a lot of darkness and unpleasant stuff in church history over the centuries. No question about that. But, here’s what I say to you, believe what you want. I’m not going to tell you what to believe, what church or religious group to attend or join. Or even whether or not to attend any church or religious organization. You figure that out for yourself. You figure out your belief system. Think for yourself. Don’t just follow some popular or charismatic preacher or guru. Study, think, reason. Be true to yourself. For me, the term Christian just has too many bad connotations. I can use the term to describe myself, but if I do I certainly mean certain things by that definition that many others do not understand in this world and society. There is more than one way to see the Christian religion or religion in general. I’ve given my definition of my religion in previous blogs. It’s basically, love, and trust God. Works for me. Keeps it simple. And, at the same time, I am deeply studying religion and theology and related subjects. Guess that’s the historian in me, I majored in history in college.

So, my parting words… think, reason, be open-minded. Chill…if you “connect” with the invisible, the “more,” the something, your higher self, Jesus, whatever you call it… enjoy the journey. It can be a good one if you do some work and love a lot.

This statement is no problem for me….

Wally