Okay, there are several ways to live. How we choose to live can determine our life story. Some of us live very miserable lives. Some live okay lives. We get by with perhaps some good experiences along the way. Some of us live pretty good lives. Lives with the good and the unpleasant, but overall good lives. Some have had major transformations or “enlightenments ” in their lives. Look at the lives of the saints. Some have had horrible lives that were transformed into miraculous new lives. Fascinating stories if you have ever read the lives of some of the great saints of history.
My own life has been quite a journey. Some early periods were very dark, but I survived and came out of the darkness. I see it now as one of the miraculous lives, like some of the saints I have read about. So, how does this happen, as some people never endure long enough in life to come out at the other end of it all? So sad. Some people totally give up. Some do endure and experience an enlightenment.
Now, enlightenment, there’s a subject I could write a book about (and many people have). But, of course, this is just a short essay on a very deep and complex subject, so I will just give some of my thoughts. As the title of this blog says, enlightenment can be a bitch. But, as I see it, the alternative is much worse. Why do I say this? Well, first a few thoughts on enlightenment.
Enlightenment is not so much a “Christian” thing. It seems to be more of an ” eastern religious” thing. The Christian church seems to use the term “illuminated” rather than enlightenment. Makes no difference to me. It involves a change of perspective on life. Sometimes a major change. It often takes a lot of work on ourselves. Work, struggle, pain, anger, resistance, etc. It can be a bitch, I say.
Isn’t it easier to just live? Go with the flow, the flow of society, of culture, of the masses. Do whatever gives pleasure, use things, people, not give a “*&#%^ about anything, really. That’s the easy to live but not very satisfying on any deep level.
Yet, some people seem to have a deeper yearning. They launch themselves on a spiritual or religious quest. They are looking for something “more.” I guess that was where I was as my life progressed. I went to seminary after college and that initiated my interest in the more spiritual, theological side of life. I couldn’t just be content with living, I guess. Yeah, there’s a lot of stuff out there in the world, just give in. Growing up in the 1960’s and 1970’s it was just “sex, drugs and rock and roll” for a lot of us. Well, I may have “tasted” of that lifestyle but did not go deeply into it. Ironically, my introduction to pot smoking occurred in seminary among some seminary friends at an evangelical Christian seminary.
Anyway, at some point in my early life I realized that just going with the flow of society could be a dead end or dangerous in many respects. I was glad to have my year in seminary as that sparked my interest in theology and spirituality. So, my life was a life of work and fun, satisfying my interest in aviation (piloting) and travel, seeing the world. But always struggling, in a sense to figure it all out (life, the big questions of existence, etc.). My studies were broad in the religious, philosophical and religious areas. I could not be narrow, rigid and authoritarian in my views. My few years of atheism did not give me answers, either, so the spiritual journey resumed and the frustration of dealing with figuring out the mystery of life. I was just one of those who could not drop out and live mindlessly.
So, yes. Life was great, but it was also a struggle. Lots of life situations that we all have. Disappointments, loss, suffering, pain, death of loved ones, thoughts of what we all will face at the end of it all. It took a long struggle for me to begin accepting all of life. A gathering of all the spiritual teaching of the various philosophies and religious paths was a hard journey for me to make. Especially since there is no one answer to be found. I discovered that we must live with the mystery of it all. So, yes, I say enlightenment is a bitch. Maybe that’s not the case for you. Perhaps you have found “the” answer, a very narrow, defined theology/philosophy. Well, good for you. It just doesn’t work that way for me. For me, it’s all God (whatever God is). Life is all One. A mysterious experience.
As I close this essay, I’m thinking about my childhood and my parents. Yes, I had problems with them. But I also realize that they had great potential as they were good people. Looking at the situation now I only wish they had some degree of “enlightenment.” A more spiritual dimension I would say. My childhood could have been so much better (can’t most of us say that?). More peaceful, loving, and all of that. Oh, well, so much for hindsight. It was what it was. But now I know that enlightenment makes a big difference in how we live. Yes, I say it’s a bitch, but it is also salvation, as I see it.
Wally
