Month: March 2022

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Faith / A Test of Faith [ Post #78 ]

Faith, now, there’s a word to ponder. What is faith? It can mean many different things to different people. I don’t think it is necessarily a religious term. Can an atheist have faith? Of course. It is not just a religious term. As I see it, we all have faith in our daily lives and activities.

If you board an airplane, you have faith in the laws of aerodynamics, that that heavier-than-air contraption is going to fly and get you safely to wherever you’re going. We have to have faith to get up and get through every day of our lives, don’t we?

Now, concerning another aspect of this subject of faith, there are times where we must have hope, a faith that things will turn out good for us, that things may go our way. Perhaps we should call this “hope combined with faith.” It is often called a “test of faith.” Don’t we all have those times in life when our faith is tested? For some people (several I know personally), very dramatic and serious tests of faith occur in their lives. I’m thinking of those who have had very serious injuries or illnesses in their lives, such as a diagnosis of terminal cancer, etc. The experience and the survival and recovery of such events is beyond words. If we are spared that experience, we are lucky and blessed.

In the past year and a half, I had a test of faith of sorts. Nothing like the above example. Nothing life-threatening. More of a material, financial testing that played with my mind and drove me a bit crazy. All I had to go on was a faith that all would work out in my favor. Otherwise, my life was going to be a mess, a total change of everything for me.

To keep it simple, let me just say that, out-of-the-blue, I got hit with a $19,331.14 tax bill. Like, due immediately and it was going to be an annual bill. Payment required immediately or penalties and other consequences were in store for me. Umm, time to call my lawyer! Pronto!

So, not serious like a terminal illness diagnosis, but a serious matter dropped into my lap. Fortunately, my lawyer assured me this would eventually be resolved in my favor, but we did have some problems. Problems brought on by this Wuhan Virus Pandemic. He said I may not be able to get through to talk with anyone for some time and it was going to take a long time to get this resolved. There were things I had to do, papers to be submitted, etc., etc. So, I of course did everything I could do. And I tried to contact the tax people, but of course with the virus situation going on, they were not answering their phones. I went through hell trying to get ahold of someone, and eventually I did. I was given phone numbers of tax investigators that could work with me. Contact was established but the investigator said no information was available on my situation, not a thing. No verification anything was being done in their computer system, just wait and call back later I was told. Yeah, okay.

Eight months. Eight months I kept trying to find out something. Nothing. I had to pay the bill, which meant messing up my finances and my retirement accounts. And I had nothing to go on except my lawyer telling me that it would eventually work out in my favor. Talk about a “test of faith!” Not a word for eight months. I did meet, finally, with the instigator and submitted all the paperwork again. Still no word on any progress. Then, one day, in the mail, a letter from the tax office. My heart about stopped. It was a thin envelope, definitely not a check enclosed, just a slip of paper, which I imagined said, “sorry, your claim denied, pay your tax bill.”

Well, I opened it and read it and about fainted. It said the tax assessor’s office had reversed their decision and I would receive a full refund of all I had paid. Issue resolved! I was, well, speechless. I had endured my “test of faith.” I had prayed and meditated every day for eight months and had no indication whatsoever that anything was going to be resolved. I had nothing to go on except hope that my lawyer was correct and knew what he was talking about. Life could resume. I would not be living in the streets in a tent or cardboard box. Life could resume as before.

Well, that’s how it looked that day. It ended up taking a while (a month and a half or so) before I had my money back in my hands. Then, it truly was over.

This was something I really could not talk about with anyone; it was so upsetting. My spouse knew what I was going through but that was it. It ate at me for eight months. I had nothing to go on but faith. I learned my lesson. Hang in there. Do my spiritual work. Don’t go dark. Don’t go negative. There’s nothing to go on, no encouragement, but hang in there!

So, that was my big test of faith. It about did me in. The blue skies have returned. We can move on now.

Wally

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I / We Choose ( Part 2 ) [ Post #77 ]

So, I decided to add a little to my last blog on “Choosing” in life situations. Looking back, I see how the choices we made in our lives created our lives. At critical points our choices altered our lives, what we call “turning points.” And, if you have read my blogs, you have seen some of my turning points and the results from those choices.

So, in a sense, recapping my many blogs, I see these points as critical times in my life choices. The first choice I think I made was a choice to keep going on with my life. During the dark times, during the depression I experienced in my early life, I chose to go forward. I was tempted to look at giving up. I was tempted to look at a way out. Suicide and homicide were thoughts that I considered very seriously. I mean, very seriously. But I had enough sense to talk myself out of any such drastic action. So, my first life choice was one of tremendous consequence. The wrong turn there would have changed things beyond what I want to even think about.

Then, in my childhood, during my first airplane flight, I decided I was going to be a pilot. My father told me, “No way, you are not going to be a pilot.” Well, that helped me decide that one thing I was going to do in my life was to learn to fly, be a pilot. I was not going to be stopped.

When my high school counselor told me I was not “college material” and could not take a certain high school class because I was too dumb, well, that set me on the path to get a higher education even though that thought had not crossed my mind previously. That decision changed my life greatly. My father was adamant about me not going to college and instead, just getting and settling into a job, no matter what my interests and ambitions were (my interest by that time was strongly in the field of aviation and travel, seeing the world).

I did get a job of interest in aviation. I got a job with an airline. My first free trip with my airline was a trip around the world (literally) at age twenty-five. Not bad for realizing my dream. Good choices for me, ignoring advice from others.

So, the point is that I made my choices somehow accessing a wisdom within me and that has made my life what it is, an amazing adventure. Wrong turns were avoided for the most part. We all make blunders and wrong choices from time to time, but those, fortunately, were inconsequential for me in the long run.

Now, I will say I am very glad I did not make the choices that from time to time were tempting me. I decided not to get into the “drug culture” of the 1960’s and 1970’s. That could have messed me up as I saw some friends travel down that route. Many bad choices were avoided, thank God.

So, my point is that, as I see it, our choices do determine our life for the most part. Yes, things happen. Yes, we do have the choice to play and be the victim. Once we go down that road, though, it’s basically over. Any real chance of living the “good life.” A sad way to go, but many do, don’t they?

Wally