So, nearly three years and sixty blog essays. An experiment of exploring my life, my thoughts, my feelings and judgements. At times a scary experience revealing life experiences and secrets and reliving memories of long ago. If anything, it has been a form of self-therapy. Just writing out my experiences and reflections and seeing how my life has evolved has been an enlightening time for me. It has actually solidified and clarified some practices I engage in.
Says it all for me… I can blame my father… learned to cuss from him, but I admit I took it to a new level… my bad!
For example, when I wrote about the Sabbath, my commitment to a disciplined Sabbath became became a deeper experience for me. I liked the concept of a day of rest and I practiced that concept in a haphazard way, but after writing my blog I decided it was time to get serious about the practice and really delay any normal work for the next day; to not do work on my day of rest (my “Christian Sabbath,” Sunday)
I have written about how I achieved dreams I had in childhood and how I never let people squash any aspirations I had (and they certainly tried to). I created my “perfect life,” I really did. It amazes me, now that I reminisce about all of this. I became a pilot. I traveled the world. I found love. I did work I enjoyed. I never really hated. If I did, it was a temporary experience. I do not have any real regrets. How many can say that? I’ve lived a good life. I got to live long enough to see all of this. I did not leave this life during one of my “dark” times, thank God.
I have enjoyed good reviews from friends. Not that that was what I was writing for, but it was nice that they could see my viewpoints and enjoyed my writing. I’ve never been much good at writing fiction ( I’ve tried ),but non-fiction has worked out for me.
So. this experiment of blogging has been satisfying for me and I guess I will keep at it. I see no shortage of material to draw from. My self-therapy has enhanced my life, so, what the hell. Let’s continue onward….
I have been asked by friends a few times, “have you ever had scary or unusual experiences with all of the flying you have done?” Well, here’s the answer to that question. Yes, I have had a few frightening experiences. Considering the many many hours I have spent in the air, the few incidents were rare, but those were my moments of thinking,” is this it? So, this is how it is going to end?
I was on an airline flight where an engine exploded and it looked bad. I was piloting my own rental airplane and the throttle cable broke and I had no control over the engine, it was at full power with no control whatsoever. I once escaped from a jetliner through the emergency over-the-window exit and crawled through it to the wing, awaiting rescue. And of course, during my pilot training I had to recover from unusual situations, such as being in a spiral dive heading right for impact with the earth. Plus a couple of jetliner engine stalls in flight which got everyone’s attention. So, let me splain….
The big scare for me was on a flight from Los Angeles to London on my birthday many many years ago. In my early years with my airline I would take trips to London quite often, several time a year. I’d do the tourist things, go to plays on the west end, often first run plays and musicals, such as when “Cats” just came out. Also went to discos, etc., for my entertainment and wild times. So, in this case I was going especially to try out a brand new airplane that TWA bought, the Boeing 747SP. Being a pilot, I was curious what this new airplane was like. Was it any different than the regular Boeing 747, this new, updated version?
Well, all was going well until about an hour after takeoff. All of the sudden, there was an explosion and a shaking and a sudden drop in altitude. We were advised to buckle up and and put everything away that we may have had out. The flight attendants went running through the plane putting their things away as they were in the middle of starting the meal service. Soon, the pilot came back to look out the window to assess the damage and situation. As all that was happening, my thought was, “wow, I’m going to die on my birthday, how is that going to be talked about by my family and friends?” How ironic, being born and dying on the same day. Well, we did make it back to Los Angeles, made an emergency landing with all the firetrucks and emergency equipment following us as we touched down. The pilot had warned us they would be following us as we landed. After a couple of hours, we boarded another airplane and made our trip to London. But, for a moment or two, I was thinking, “this is it!’
I had three other “unusual” incidents on airline flights. Twice I experienced what is called an “engine stall” on a jetliner. What that is is when the airflow through the engine gets disrupted and the engine “stalls,” it makes a big “boom” and scares the hell out of you. Both times the pilot explained it as best he could and we continued our flight. Another time, something happened, which was not explained and we made an unscheduled landing in Kansas City. We were in route to St. Louis from Los Angeles, so it must have been something serious as Kansas City is not that far from St. Louis and for some reason we did not continue a little bit longer to St. Louis. The scary thing for me was, I was on my way to San Antonio, Texas to attend the American Atheist’s Convention and be with with Madelyn Murray Ohare and her family. As we diverted to Kansas City, my thoughts were along the line of “I knew I should not have come to this convention… God’s punishing me!” Well, everything turned out okay and I did enjoy my time at the convention.
When i was piloting my plane and the throttle cable broke I happened to be with my flight instructor, so between the two of us we figured out how to get to an airport and land. It was not easy. I think we figured out how to turn the engine off and back on in order to lose altitude and eventually stop the aircraft once on the ground. If I had been alone I don’t know that I would have figured out how to get back safely on the ground.
Okay, the opening of the over-the-wing emergency exit and climbing out to the wing is a bit misleading in a sense. Yes it did happen, but it was a voluntary situation. I was going to school in Seattle, Washington and Boeing Aircraft was there in Seattle at Boeing Field, where they manufactured jetliners. I volunteered to take part in an emergency evacuation of a jet for certification purposes. We were to pretend being on a flight, landing, and then, on cue. evacuate. We had to be able to evacuate within 90 seconds, and we did.
So, those were my abnormal experiences in my flying on airliners and in my own aircraft. I have had my moments of concern. I have been lucky.
So, being in the last decade(s) of life, I do a bit of reflecting over a life of many decades, many adventures, many challenges, battles, dark times, joyous times, loves and disappointments. Recently the thought came to me… have I made any wrong turns on this journey? Surely, I’m thinking, everybody has made “wrong turns.” Made some big mistakes, journeyed down the wrong paths, etc. Got to be a universal experience. Got me thinking deeply. Thinking, thinking, thinking.
I’m here to tell you, I finally decided that, no, I do not at all feel that I have made any wrong turns in my life! Wow, that almost feels weird to say, like that can’t be true. Everybody regrets making the “wrong turns” in life, I’m thinking. But it is not true for me, I feel in the depths of my soul. As you have read in previous blogs, I certainly have had difficult times in my life, dark periods, real internal, emotional struggles. But you know what? I stayed on the path I now feel was laid out before me. Since I have a thing called faith, I would say a path God laid out for me, or the universe or whatever if that is easier for you to swallow.
I would not have wanted my life to go in a different direction. No, really. It may have been a long road, but I am now in a good place and I have had good experiences and realized my dreams and loves. What can beat that? In my book, nothing! Oh, yeah, I could daydream of having accomplished some great tasks and changing the world and becoming famous. That may be a great daydream, but that was not to be my life. That’s just not my path in this life. A great path for others I would agree. If that’s your path, your journey, great. I’m all for good people doing good things and making a difference in the world. Totally behind you.
Do you get envious of other people that seem to have a life of miraculous accomplishments and success? Thank goodness I do not waste any energy on that one. I am all for good people that make a real difference in this crazy world. But, you know what? I had to live my life, do my things. Find my own path, do those things I dreamed of, be happy with my life. And, I have no regrets! I did not make wrong turns. I certainly messed up at times, made mistakes, had bad thoughts, etc., but that’s a lot different than traveling down the wrong road. No major mistakes were made (thank goodness!).
I have friends that have accomplished great things. Artists, teachers, lawyers, politicians, doctors. I love that they did their “thing.” I am sorry for those who feel that they did take the wrong turns, lost or never found their purpose in this life. That is sad. I would say that that did not have to be. But what do I know, really. Maybe that was their “path” to travel in this lifetime. And those I know who have committed suicide by intention or by neglect. How sad, how painful. Thinking of all of this does reinforce my stand that my life has involved making no wrong turns. Something guided me. Something encouraged me. Something inspired me. Even when I did not feel it at all, something was there, in my soul, in my inner being. I never shut that something, that voice, out. That’s why my blog’s theme is “On the Path,” “It’s a Wonderful Life!”
So, I wonder, were there times I could have made the “wrong turns?” Well, thinking along those lines, I could have pursued my finishing theological seminary and become a minister/pastor in a church. Had a nice normal family with children and all. No, that would not have been good. Not in my life. Or what if I had been successful in becoming an airline pilot ( I came very close but something told me this was not the right thing for me.) So, my stand is that I have not made wrong turns.
Yep, me on the right. At elementary school. Early in life. Before I made any real decisions regarding my life, whether right turns or wrong turns. A time of innocence. All of life lay ahead of me. Turns out it was a good life that was awaiting me.
So, that’s my philosophy, I guess. I made no wrong turns. I can’t speak for anyone else. Are there really wrong turns in life or is there just the way our life goes because of our intensions and choices. Something to ponder. I do have compassion for those who have a messed up life. Yes, there’s a lot of sh*t in this world. I believe we are co-creators in life. Co-creators with whatever you call it. Fate, the Universe, God. I am very grateful for my life and all the right turns I made.
